Tag: Signs

160527

160527
Racist cry of the teapublic

Remember when we made tea float?
Let’s make it great again!
Remember women couldn’t vote?
Let’s make it great again!
Remember having different seats?
Let’s make it great again!
Remember wearing long, white sheets?
Let’s make it great again!
Remember all the injun graves?
Let’s make it great again!
Remember when we all had slaves?
Let’s make it great again!
Remember we were number one?
Let’s make it great again!
Now get a hood, and grab your gun!
Let’s make it great again!

160520

160520
Hit them with their own panhandle

Oklahoma isn’t right
They’re misguided in their fight
By combining church and state
They’ve created fear and hate
Government should be for all
Yet they’re spiteful and banal
Church is where they should rejoice
Do not worry ’bout her choice
Do not worry if he’s gay
Oklahoma’s not OK

160420

160420
He should have got high

24 states think pot’s legit
The other states are full of shit
Tricky Dick said there’s no good use
The war on drugs needs a toke truce
Just think of what the states could do
With all that weed tax revenue
It should be dropped from number one
For patient use or just for fun

160224

160224
Maybe I’ll go back to prayer

First you take a billionaire
Make sure he has awful hair
And devoid of savoir faire
Pander so he gets on air
Spews out venom everywhere
Policies are hate and scare
Plays to dumb crowds with fanfare
Welcome to our Trump nightmare

150930

150930
Pope Frank the 2 steps back

Now everyone’s favorite Pope
Met everyone’s favorite dope
To meet with a clerk so deranged
Just proves that the Church hasn’t changed

150729

150729
Kill a lion lose your business seems fair

If you want to kill a lion
You’re a dick there’s no denyin’
It’s one thing to shoot a weasel
But why’d you go and shoot Cecil?
You spent a lot to take a life
Better spent on a battered wife
Now you’ve given us a reason
To start dentist hunting season

150727

150727
Mötley scrüed Paso Robles

The Mid-State fair had Mötley Crüe
Nikki, Tommy, Mick and Vince too
They gave us all the Paso screw
Three hours late ’twas sad, but true
The band was fine, but through and through
Vince Neil’s voice sounded like poo
When asked to sing I yelled a boo
With peace and love here’s my FUCK YOU!

150518

150518
Why is GoT so rapey?

I’ll still watch you Game of Thrones
Though you chill me to my bones
Biggest question with this show
Why do you hate women so?
Sand snakes aren’t as good as guys
They should fight someone their size
Arya beaten with a rod
Queen is jailed by the god squad
She can’t even help her bro
‘Cause they say he’s a big ‘mo
Poor Sansa should have escaped
Not all women should be raped

150424

150424
That fellow is a fellow human

Humans aren’t throwaways
Humans aren’t dirty strays
We should never ration
Our human compassion

150417

150417
No Chief Chirpa either

Solo and Chewie!
The Millennium Falcon!
And no Jar Jar Binks!

150330

150330
I ain’t goin’ anywhere tbh

I ain’t goin’ to Havana
Unless I’m wearing armor plate
I ain’t goin’ to Montana
I’d rather sun burn in Kuwait
I ain’t goin’ to Savannah
I’d sooner avoid the whole state
I’m skipping Louisiana
Unless I need to urinate
Not goin’ to Indiana
They need to learn to tolerate
They are not Americana
Unless you think it’s good to hate

150211

150211
One hand in my pocket

Don’t act like a brat
Don’t wrestle a cat
Don’t eat when you’re fat
Don’t let it fall flat
Don’t wear the wrong hat
Don’t sleep on a mat
Don’t be a pack rat
Don’t say it like that
And above all else
Don’t go to combat

150130

150130
Who needs a hug?

Please consider this my open letter
Everyone of us has to do better
Regardless of race, age, sex, class, or creed
Understanding’s a societal need
It’s easier to be apathetic
But we need to be more sympathetic
Kindness is not a good we should ration
Every person deserves our compassion
If you were not born with the patient gene
You don’t have to be nice, but don’t be mean
Don’t take this as overly demanding
But we all need some more understanding

150102

150102
Down with people

I’m getting old, this is a sign
People are a pet peeve of mine
I don’t like when they are in groups
I don’t like when they sit on stoops
I don’t like when they’re all alone
I don’t like when they wear cologne
I don’t like when they talk too much
I don’t like when they try to touch
I don’t like when they drive too fast
I don’t like when their girth is vast
I don’t like when they will not leave
That’s why people are my pet peeve

141123

141123
20-38 is great

I will worry the week before
Worried until the final score
No need to worry anymore
Hundley’s first pass made me go numb
But then he made $c look dumb
The Bruins beat the Trojan scum
The week began with hope and fear
And then we beat a foe so near
We keep the bell another year!

141121

141121
Keep the bell blue!

There once was a clutch of $c girls
They looked so pretty, their hair in curls
They earned their degrees
While down on their knees
And they wore necklaces made of pearls

141105

141105
Two years of veto

The results made me mad
Two out of three is bad
I know they hate the one
Still nothing will get done

141021

141021
I can’t help it

Doing something nice just confirms
You have opened a can of worms
It might be bent or a big joke
But do not fix what isn’t broke

141017

141017
It’s full of sucks

Stinky’s is where people used to go
The burgers were pretty good, you know?
Got closed by Starbucks
And that really sucks
So they ain’t goin’ there any mo’

140921

140921
1 or 2 have been good

What have you done
500 times?
Was it as fun
As my dumb rhymes?

140801

140801
Liars? Lawyers? What’s the difference?

The GOP is causing drama
They think that they can sue Obama
For not enforcing Obamacare
A bill they don’t even think is fair
I can’t believe the hypocrisy
This only proves liars run DC

140713

140713
Proud to be an ally

We are LGBT allies
We don’t do it to win a prize
We do it ’cause it’s right to do
Equality is overdue

140703

140703
Double double animal style

When meeting a friend from Facebook
That you only know from online
Go to where they know how to cook
And take pics in front of their sign

140513

140513
STFU Donald!

There once was a racist named Sterling
The rumors had always been swirling
V got an assist
When Magic was dissed
And that got the media whirling

140403

140403
Time for a change?

How long do you stay the course?
Should you back a losing horse?
When should you abandon ship?
How long do you keep your grip?
Are you just a whipping post?
When should you give up the ghost?
Is this tunnel a dead end?
Will the damage ever mend?

140401

140401
But I do root for the Angels

I’ve been the butt of many jokes
But I won’t fall for any hoax
I don’t belong to a think tank
But you’ll still find me hard to prank
I’ve never been a master sleuth
But I won’t believe your untruth
I’ve been a nerd since grammar school
But I am not the April Fool

140329

140329
This should take the cake

A little earthquake
Will keep you awake
The ground starts to shake
And things start to break
You’ll get a head ache
It feels like a snake
Is eating brain steak
Oh for goodness sake!
What sense does that make?

140321

140321
I hate haters

There once was a man from Westboro
His dislike of gays was most thorough
By saying God hates
He opened debates
And gays made him look like a burro

140313

140313
In the zompocalypse I want to be dead last

Ya gotta keep pace
Or you’ll lose the race
Ya gotta go slow
Or you’ll miss the show
Ya gotta move quick
Or you’ll fail the trick
Ya gotta stay loose
Or you’ll spill your juice
Ya gotta be fast
Or you’ll be dead last
The last to be dead
Still wins by a head

140127

140127
If I had one to sell

I would commit the perfect crime
In order to get more free time
There’s not enough time in the day
I have to work instead of play
When I was young, I had the time
But then I didn’t have a dime
Free time and money are the goal
To have them both, I’d sell my soul!

140117

140117
Just say nyet!

There are those that are gluten-free
But the world should be Putin-free
He’s as bad as Josef Stalin
Russia’s status is free-fallin’
They are hosting the winter games
While his speeches are fanning flames
His views are as thick as a brick
Vladimir Putin – you’re a dick!