150320

150320
That weed is high

Here’s the world’s largest weed
Sprouted up from a seed
It’s taller than a bus
Bigger than both of us
There it is in our yard
Tried to burn, only charred
Some poison we did spray
Still it stands here today
Then we both tried to dig
But the roots were too big
So we said, “Let it live
For the shade it will give.
It might be just a weed,
But it’s best of it’s breed.”

150223

150223
LOL’d at Blackhawks

Tom and Lourdes came to visit
The good times were quite exquisite
We started with the butterflies
The Rib Line had beach balls and fries
We drove around to taste some wine
About that time, we felt real fine
Joe Daddy was in the Casa
We ate tortas like a boss-a
Then played Dixit and Zombie Dice
About that time, sleep sure was nice
Waffles made from cinnamon rolls
Accompanied by fruit in bowls
Sent T and L off on their way
We did all that in just one day!

150206

150206
Forever forever

“Who loves you more than me?”
“Nobody, Nobody!
“What can I do for thee?”
“Please be my Sweetie Pea!”

150109

150109
Running around the desert together

That magic night five years ago
When my wolf pack began to grow
Went to the top of the Horseshoe
You pledged to me, I pledged to you
We’re back again, top of Fremont
I say to you so nonchalant
Let’s do that thing we can’t abstain
Looking for strippers and cocaine

141225

141225
Merry Christmas from sunny California

I gave myself a gift this year
I didn’t drink a keg of beer
I didn’t buy a box of games
I didn’t dance with dusky dames
I didn’t buy a brand new car
I didn’t travel to a star
I didn’t buy a motorbike
I gave myself a Christmas hike

141219

141219
Gotta take a Kim Jung-Un

When I think of my Sweetie Pea
It’s like I’m on a tranquil sea
When I think of the holidays
My wallet needs a big fat raise
When I think of my dearest friends
To me they prove that they’re all tens
When I think of North Korea
I suffer from diarrhea

141215

141215
Flat tire fairy came twice

Another flat tire
There goes my entire
Christmas fund
With only fifty cents
I cannot buy presents
I’ll be shunned
Nothing for my family
No gifts under the tree
Or in socks
Though my wallet is lean
Doesn’t matter to Jean
My wife rocks

141211

141211
Our wedding was so 5 years ago

More laughter than tears
More courage than fears
More vino than beers
More Macy’s than Sears
More Seinfeld than Cheers
We’ve made it five years!

141029

141029
They’re scary cute

Here’s a tale that’s kind of spooky
We see ghosts that look like Mookie
And the phantoms sing a chorus
That remind us of ol’ Morris
The specters are pretty funky
They’re not impressed, just like Monkee
Our old kitties haunt us somehow
We get goosebumps when they meow

141023

141023
But not two nipples

Before we met, she had two
The same as most women do
Later on, she had just one
It was still a lot of fun
Now she has a pair again
With or without she’s a ten

140823

140823
Sadly we weren’t scared

We stayed in a hotel in Ryde
People say there are ghosts inside
Spectral encounters are implied
I think it’s ’cause a hooker died
It’s creep factor was bona fide
But spooky times we were denied

140821

140821
Road to everywhere

Before we went on vacation
I felt tied to the whipping post
Mostly due to my vocation
Then we drove up and down the coast
This trip has been a lot of fun
Despite driving for ten long days
Our personal Cannonball Run
We’ve seen so much I’m in a daze

140819

140819
Also a fox!

We saw a cougar at Lake Quinault
On the north shore road without asphalt
We viewed from afar
Inside our safe car
We’ll store that in out memory vault

140817

140817
Portland’s hangover cure

We got six donuts from Voodoo
First we ate one to break our fast
We had our second for lunch too
Then for dessert we ate the last

140815

140815
San Francisco Bay Blues

Last night at the Stick, we saw Paul
Beatles and Wings – he played it all
From Blackbird to Band on the Run
Jean and I had a lot of fun
Let it Be and Live and Let Die
So awesome we were Hi, Hi, Hi
Maybe I’m Amazed, but I’ll say
That was fucking great Yesterday

140813

140813
North bound and down

We’re driving to Canada and back
Our clothes are crammed into a knapsack
At 5 o’clock I left the station
That’s when we started our vacation

140803

140803
Bobcats, turkeys and deer, oh my!

Playing games and watching bands
Hiking over arid lands
Stalking bobcats through the trees
Enjoying a gentle breeze
Watching movies with my gal
Helps to improve my morale
Though we try to make them last
Weekends go by much too fast

140731

140731
We don’t own a calendar

When you’re in a relationship
You have to make some time to play
So grab your partner by the hip
Wednesday’s not the only hump day

140727

140727
We did not play Constantinople

Lorna is this woman I know
Who I met 30 years ago
She came to town the other day
To find some new board games to play
So Lorna, Marc, and Natalie
Played Istanbul with Jean and me
Then we drove to Captain Nemo’s
The card game Gloom is what she chose
I picked up Basic D&D
Then we ate dinner by the sea
We all had a fantastic day
Can’t wait for the next game to play

140725

140725
Aw, it’s you. I never knew.

I met her at a coffee shop
I didn’t want the date to stop
So we went out to a movie
Then the date got pretty groovy
Out to a bar for drinks and dance
Could feel the starting of romance
I dropped her off and bid adieu
Then realized “that’s my place too!”

140723

140723
Two less lonely people

It was six years ago tonight
We met, and Jean was out of sight!
Set up on a crazy blind date
Neither knew that it would be great
She’s the kind of woman, you know
That you grab, and you don’t let go
The kind you can’t stop thinking of
Six years gone, and I’m still in love

140711

140711
This lantern doth the horned moon present

Tonight there’s a full moon
It’s the first one since June
Look up and be surprised
This time it’s super sized
It did not increase its girth
It’s just closer to Earth

140619

140619
She found the black widow too

On a day with so many highs
Of course there had to be some lows
Jean passed her test, and then surprise!
The hatchback came down on her nose
She studied hard without much sleep
But aced her exam like a pro
She bought some brand names for real cheap
Then learned her job would pay more dough
A day like that is so magic
We got home and unpacked the car
Her face was wounded so tragic
I hope it doesn’t leave a scar

140605

140605
Happy Birthday Jean!

Happy Birthday to my wife Jean
I wish I had a time machine
To see you on the ones I missed
I hope this doesn’t sound obsessed
But I will be there at the rest
At least as long as I exist

140531

140531
Look at my green thumb

Pull the weeds
Plant the seeds
Water plants
Kill the ants
Rake and hoe
Watch them grow

140523

140523
Making memories for Memorial Day Weekend

Three day weekend
With my best friend
72 hours of fun
Gonna sleep late
It will be great
Already good and just begun!

140517

140517
He is the entertainer

Let’s go see Billy Joel
At the Hollywood Bowl
He’s the Piano Man
And I’m a life long fan
I’m gonna take my wife
So he best play “My Life”!

140505

140505
I think your body is heavenly

A billion stars up in the sky
They leave bright trails as they go by
Like ripples forming on a pond
To infinity and beyond

140419

140419
What’s cooking on Cook?

Tonight was a big winner
We hosted friends for dinner
First ones there were Kath and Gabe
Then came Stephanie and Dave
We chowed down on some tri-tip
While we had some wine to sip
Then we played some Zombie Dice
Jean won once, but I lost twice
Doesn’t matter, fun was had
Thanks for coming to our pad!

140413

140413
I like Jean’s butt and I cannot lie

It’s my mission – my duty
To illustrate your beauty
You’re a cutie patootie
With a very fine booty
I am extremely lucky
To call you my Sweetie Pea
My love to the nth degree
You are everything to me

140307

140307
At least it wasn’t potato bug

Jean just saw a spider
It skittered beside her
Though it didn’t hurt her
She asked me to murder
The huge hairy spider
That skittered beside her
I stomped on its body
And dropped it in potty
In the death triple crown
The spider got flushed down
A warning to spiders
They should stay outsiders

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