0126
Stole my whole damn face!
If I listen to
Truckin’, U.S. Blues,
Deal or Morning Dew
Happiness ensues
If I feel hateful
Jerry and the rest
Make me so grateful
Because they’re the best.
Category: Ridiculous Rhymes
0124
0124
I do this everyday
Have you ever taken a lunch ride?
That’s when you get in your car and hide
For sixty minutes from the bullshit
That is work, because you want to quit
But you can’t, so you do this to cope
With a job that has stomped on your hope.
0123
0123
Do centaurs go neigh?
It’s cloudy today
The sky is all gray
Rain is on the way
So, inside I’ll stay
And Guild Wars I’ll play
The goal is to slay
Mobs of easy prey
And bake a souffle
Believe it or nay
0122
0122
Pope Hip Hop II
If Sean can be Diddy
And Curtis is Fiddy
Then they’ll both have to cope
That I call myself Pope
I can’t rap worth a shit
But they’ll have to admit
I can rhyme like the Game
Yet my drawings are lame
0121
0121
That’s my dream
Why should a racist jerk
Enjoy this holiday?
Shouldn’t they have to work
To honor MLK?
0119
0119
#1 reason we live here
We walked 4 miles along a river bed
We saw bunnies and hawks and an eagle
Where we walked today, few have even tread
We have so much fun, it should be illegal
0118
0118
Is that why I’m balding?
The power went out
We all scream and shout
The reason we rave?
We should have hit save!
0117
0117
Did she fake with him?
Te’o had a fake girlfriend
Is it so bad to pretend?
I wonder what’s the big deal
So what if she wasn’t real?
Don’t condemn his phony broad
When he still believes in god
0116
0116
Even the logo was full of ’em!
It started while watching Bewitched.
Was thrown when the Darrins were switched.
Samantha had some magic tricks.
None better than doubling of Dicks.
Dick Sargent filled in for Dick York.
But Darrin was still a big dork.
So much phallus as evidence.
Obsession or coincidence?
Last fact to stuff the ballot box,
Dick Sargent’s birth name was Dick Cox!
0115
0115
Like it’s never happened to you
If you can’t trust a fart
Be prepared for a shart
Give your ass cheeks a squeeze
Or find fudge in undies
To the bathroom you streak
To prevent a brown leak
You leap onto the bowl
And applaud your control
0114
0114
Why do they do that?
Cat puke on the new carpet
It’s not there when I come back
Did Raven nom on vomit?
When I think of that I yack
0112
0112
Only 346 days until Xmas
It’s time for the lights to come down
This time of year, lessens the cheer
And turns my smile into a frown
0111
0111
New adventure
I have some sharpies in hand
And a composition book
Mixing rhyme and sticks is grand
So pretty please take a look.
0110
0110
I put it on my pancakes
Why does cough syrup taste so gross?
Perhaps to prevent overdose?
When it’s on my tongue, I’m morose
No other yucky meds come close
0107
0105
0104
0104
You suck!
It’s Friday, and I’m sick, yet I’m here at work
There’s not much to do, and I want to leave here
Inevitably someone acts like a jerk
Last minute orders; I want to disappear.
0103
0103
I <3 @monkeecat68
Last night I sounded like a lion roaring
It must have seemed like you were on safari
My head cold caused some cacophonous snoring
You were up all night and for that I’m sorry
0101
0101
West Wing
Seeing Martin Sheen
While playing a slot machine
Means that 2013
Will be peachy keen.