170512

170512
Don’t drive angry

I tell you this, it is no lie
Drivers today want me to die
At least four times I’ve used my horn
The first two beeps were in the morn
Two near side-swipes on way to work
And then at lunch another jerk
He came at me from the wrong way
Then flipped me off to end the fray
That’s not enough, now here’s a truck
It’s backing up, *honk* what the fuck?!?
This bad driving has caused a shock
When I go home, I think I’ll walk

170424

170424
She’s a dancing machine

I really love my sweetie Jean
From one to ten, she’s a fifteen
She’s super smart, her wit is keen
She makes the hard work seem routine
She’s a great cook, such fine cuisine
She perks me up more than caffeine
She’s always nice and never mean
I’m not a king, but she’s my queen

161214

161214
Spirits for the Xmas spirit

Drinking at the Christmas party
Diet cola and Bacardi
Ate a rib eye that was yummy
So much goodness in my tummy
Then came time to exchange presents
I gave dollars; they gave ten cents
Left the party as it ended
Kind of glad that I attended

161026

161026
I do this when I break-in

In the morn, tummy’s achin’
Late to work, ’cause I’m flakin’
I don’t know what I’m makin’
But of course, it’s with bacon
I take one, now I’m takin’
So much nom that I’m shakin’
This is how to awaken!

160506

160506
I can’t live without her

Jean is away – she’s gone for work
I stumble ’round like a big jerk
The dogs are dead, cat ran away
She has been gone for one whole day
We’re out of food and no clean clothes
I showered with the garden hose
The house burned down at half past noon
I really hope she comes back soon

150805

150805
This is only a test

There once was an old TV station
That broadcast all over the nation
The staff was let go
Now they have no dough
All thanks to a big corporation

150603

150603
Everyday

Greet the dawn with a yawn
This is how the day begins
Make a squirt, wash the dirt
Got to scrub off all my sins
Kiss my spouse, leave the house
Wave at Jerry, Phil and Bob
Stop and go, to and fro
Finally make it to my job
Nine to five, still alive
Did it all for little pay
Kiss my mate, life is great
Made it through another day

150327

150327
An excerpt from my upcoming musical Oklahomeless

SEAN
I did it
I really did it
I had a thing to do, and then I did it
CHORUS
He did it
He barely did it
At first it didn’t work, but then he did it
JEAN
Sean did it
Sean finally did it
He barely slept at all, but then he did it
CHORUS
He did it
He fucking did it
It took about a month, but then he did it

150318

150318
Don’t be misled there’s always bed

I think I’ll just go back to bed
Wind blew the hat off of my head
My jeans don’t fit ’cause I’m too fat
My only friend’s a one-eyed cat
I found a bug in my sandwich
I drove my car into a ditch
I owe way more than I can pay
I got shit on by a blue jay
My job is slowly killing me
It sometimes hurts when I go pee
My doctor says I’ll soon be dead
I think I’ll just go back to bed

150313

150313
SQL can suck it!

Dead end, dead end, dead end, dead end
No matter how much time I spend
I just can’t find a way to mend
This broken web site for a friend
I think I’ve gone around the bend
Dead end, dead end, dead end, dead end

150123

150123
So many questions

Whatchu doin’ for a living?
Are you taking more than giving?
Are you happy, are you healthy?
Are you married, are you wealthy?
Do you have some pets or fishes?
Do you cook and do the dishes?
Have you made your fame and glory?
Won’t you tell me your life’s story?

150114

150114
My new cover letter

The stupid here is off the chart
They are so dumb it hurts my smart
I ask my friends both far and near
Please help me find a new career

140915

140915
Good luck B & R

Big changes today for our news
Won’t matter if we don’t get views
I’m sure Bianca will be great
And Rafa’s gonna be first rate
But will our viewers ever know
‘Cause we forgot our new promo

140821

140821
Road to everywhere

Before we went on vacation
I felt tied to the whipping post
Mostly due to my vocation
Then we drove up and down the coast
This trip has been a lot of fun
Despite driving for ten long days
Our personal Cannonball Run
We’ve seen so much I’m in a daze

140805

140805
Hoochie mama is not dressing for success

Don’t wear that for your interview
I shouldn’t see that much of you
I’m trying not to be a grouch
But comfy does not mean to slouch
The kids these days just blow my mind
You’d think that jobs aren’t hard to find
There’s not a lot of work out there
So do a little to prepare

140403

140403
Time for a change?

How long do you stay the course?
Should you back a losing horse?
When should you abandon ship?
How long do you keep your grip?
Are you just a whipping post?
When should you give up the ghost?
Is this tunnel a dead end?
Will the damage ever mend?

140319

140319
Feel the wrath of my poetry!

You want me to have urgency
When it’s your damn emergency?
It’s your fault there was a mistake
So I will not give you a break
You figure out how to make good
For I have done all that I should
If you don’t like this third degree
Next time you should listen to me!

140203

140203
It really makes me upset

Another password reset
I break out in a cold sweat
Changing them is never fun
I can’t remember this one
Should I use a percent sign?
Should I try to intertwine
Capitals and lower case?
Do I have to put a space?
In my head, my password’s stored
And taped onto my keyboard

140107

140107
I’m experiencing disquietude

I truly need a break
I’ve had all I can take
Please send all of the stress
To a different address
My magnificent plan
To breathe deep as I can
If this plan doesn’t work
I’ll probably go berserk

1230

1230
Your emergency is not mine!

It’s never too late
To try and frustrate
Your indifference
Is making me tense
If nonsense persists
Your face meets my fists
Please listen next time
To prevent a crime

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