221230
TTFN
This started as a resolution
And now it’s time for dissolution
This may have brought some satisfaction
And stirred up tepid interaction
For ten years now, I’ve covered most things
One thousand seven hundred postings
Realistically, most were stinky
Nasty, awful, stupid or kinky
One or two were not terribly bad
Wish it were more, but that’s all I had
221223
The miracle of Festivus
As a holiday, it’s satirical
But I love a Festivus Miracle
Events as mundane as finding a bowl
Are miracles near a Festivus Pole
While some focus on grievances airing
I focus on miracle declaring
If someone is more down than the rest of us
Show them the miracle of Festivus
221220
O kleiner Linc
O little Linc, o little Linc
Don’t cough another hair ball
O little Linc, o little Linc
Don’t cough another hair ball
You eat so much at breakfast time
But barf it before dinner time
O little Linc, o little Linc
Don’t cough another hair ball
221216
Guardians of the Christmas Tree
Drax and Mantis stage a break-in
And they kidnap Kevin Bacon
In the end they kind of botch it
But I think you still should watch it
221213
I hate this cold craze
It’s been cold for days and days
So I sit beside a blaze
Hope this weather’s just a phase
Need the temperature to raise
221209
‘Tis the season to get baked
Last Christmas Eve, I smoked a bowl
And met Saint Nick at the North Pole
The reindeer flew, we played with elves
Then got some sweets to stuff ourselves
We had some drinks, and he got pissed
So I checked out his Christmas list
I found your name, and you’re marked nice
I’m in the naughty column twice!
He sobered up and went to work
He filled his sleigh and gave a smirk
“Next Christmas you’ll get what you need
As long as I can smoke your weed!”
So I whipped out my trusty bong
He inhaled deep, he inhaled long
“I thank you for this killer grass
It knocked me on my jolly ass
Next year you’ll meet a wee cailín
A lovely Irish lass named Jeanne”
No longer will my heart be blue
My verdant Christmas wish came true!
221206
Being naughty isn’t nice
Don’t be mean this Christmas season
Don’t leave dogs out when they’re freezin’
No one likes a Christmas Karen
Worse than fruitcake with a hair in
We should not neglect the needy
Share some spirit, don’t be greedy
Don’t go mad with decorations
Temper all your expectations
Don’t start fighting during dinner
Christmas doesn’t have a winner
People shouldn’t feel diminished
When the holidays are finished
221202
I hung balls on my joint
At this time of year
Don’t mix up your cannabis
With your Christmas tree
