140121

140121
I can’t trust a fart

If you fart and no one’s there
Should you really even care?
If it makes a nasty sound
Even though no one’s around
Do you say, “Excuse me sirs?”
What happens when that occurs?
If it waters up your eyes
How should you apologize?
Do you say, “I’m sorry ma’am”?
Does she even give a damn?
If I’m in an empty room
And I toot a smelly fume
I hope that the dog walks by
So that I can point and lie
It is certainly an art
To know when and where to fart

0716

0716
Yes pain no gain

What is going on with my back?
Did somebody give it a whack?
I can’t even fart without pain
If this keeps up, I’ll go insane

0405

0405
Perhaps too silly

Writing while drunk is an art
Something something something fart
This one’s sure to be a hit
Something something something shit
Schlitz and grits and shits and tits
Makes it hard to use your wits

0115

0115
Like it’s never happened to you

If you can’t trust a fart
Be prepared for a shart
Give your ass cheeks a squeeze
Or find fudge in undies
To the bathroom you streak
To prevent a brown leak
You leap onto the bowl
And applaud your control

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