210618
A yankee is a quickie when you’re alone
This dork who would cheer for the Yankees
Would fill all his pockets with hankies
When there was no doubt
He’d whip a cloth out
And celebrate with a few wankees
Tag: Naughty
Poems and/or Drawings about things that are Naughty.
210616
210616
It’s a win-wank
I want to travel since I can
But lack of money stops that plan
I have few skills for making bank
But I’m a pro at wink and wank
This talent solves my money plans
I’m gonna start an OnlyFans
210614
210614
Covid tunnel syndrome
After months of isolation
My fertile imagination
And futile infatuation
Leads to frequent masturbation
210611
210611
You put your right one in…
I’m watching a show about Loki
Some think he’s as tasty as gnocchi
They would take it out
And shake it about
In order to do Loki pokey
210609
210609
Second jab is Saturday
Listing my imagination
After second vaccination
I can take a plane to Cali
Or go hike the Great Rift Valley
I can visit my relations
Hug and touch to feel sensations
See the Dead in Sarasota
Or twine ball in Minnesota
I can go to Spain and Quito
Searching for the best burrito
I can play games at conventions
Smoke weed and explore dimensions
I can have a pint of cider
I can put my tip inside her
I might burst just like a geyser
After second jab of Pfizer
210521
210521
Too much time
A mistress just outed her pastor
His love life is now a disaster
He’s changed up his plans
For laying on hands
At bation he’ll soon be a master
210514
210514
Dapper fapper
The dandy who dressed rather spiffy
Requested relief in a jiffy
His quaintrelle masseuse
Did swiftly deduce
His stress was contained in his stiffy
210423
210423
My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
There once was a man from Toledo
Who had a voracious libido
If his tinder date
Was willing to mate
He’d sink her with his pink torpedo
210409
210409
Who converted whom?
There once was a Mormon on mission
Who learned he’d a unique condition
When he would convert
He then couldn’t squirt
Unless in the doggie position
210319
210319
And then they were married
A handsome young diver in Kerry
Was asked where he’s from by sweet Mary
He said quick enough
That he was from Muff
That Muff diver made Mary merry
210305
210305
Taoiseach Me-hole!
A Martin named Micheál is Taoiseach
This leak about him gives a wee shock
He has beady eyes
Because ‘tween his thighs
He has trouble finding his wee cock
210205
210205
Disco isn’t the only thing that sucks
There once was a dancer named Russell
Who knew how to tango and hustle
The ladies in town
Would always get down
And cha cha with his mambo muscle
210111
210111
Legs 11 day
All the twos – twenty-two
Quack quack – two ducks – mark them blue
Six and nine – sixty-nine
A sixty-nine sure would be fine
Five and three – fifty-three
Three-in-a-row, that’s quite lucky
Three and four – thirty-four
I have the sweats, I need one more
Eight and one – eighty-one
I have a check – Yes, I have won!
201228
201228
I thought the day would never come
This year needs a fucking conclusion
Impeached due to Russian collusion
Then masks that cause facial contusion
We’ve all suffered from forced seclusion
We can’t have a big celebration
But one thing will bring jubilation
And comfort to every nation…
Spontaneous ejaculation!!!
201218
201218
Hide the reindeer sausage
There once was a reindeer named Donner
To serve Santa Claus was his honor
He used his esteem
To hustle and scheme
A young elven lass and get on her
201216
201216
The dream before Xmas
‘Twas a week before Christmas, and all over town
All the talk about COVID was bringing me down
I wanted to snuggle and spoon in a bed
With a winsome woman who loves giving head
And what do my wondering eyes should appear
But a sweet Irish lass to bring me good cheer
She sat on my lap, and she rubbed on my dick
If she kept that friction, I knew I’d come quick
I needed her badly – to unload my sack
So onto the mattress, and there she lay back
I kissed down below – I kissed on her belly
Her perky tits heaved and jiggled like jelly
A wink of her eye, and a roll ’round the bed
She drained Santa’s sack, and then left me for dead
I was to bring gifts to some kids up the road
But here with this lass I had dropped my whole load
As I left the temptress who looked out of sight
“Happy Christmas to me, I’ve had such a good night!”
201204
201204
Covid Claus
There once was a dude named Kris Kringle
Whose bags were so full they would jingle
Through front and back roads
He dropped many loads
He left behind gifts that would tingle
200925
200925
You never forget your first
I once had a girlfriend named Sandy
My memories still makes me randy
With lovely blonde hair
And boobs out to there
She tasted sweet like cotton candy
200911
200911
His semen created more seamen
A seafarer from Ballintubber
Encountered a buxom land lubber
But his one night stand
Got way out of hand
His blubber had ruptured the rubber
200828
200828
She got her man
A Mountie that lived in Regina
Mail ordered a young groom from China
She thought she’d be nice
By cooking him rice
And serving it from her vagina
200731
200731
A king’s scepter has a knob on the end
There once was a princess named Annie
Who married a king known as Manny
She ruled the demesne
The bedroom his reign
His scepter would dictate her fanny
200710
200710
Got milk?
There once was a duellist named Burr, sir
A Hamilton insult disperser
But Burr was just mad
That Hamilton lad
Had got Reynolds’ kitty to purr, sir
200610
200522
200522
Inches > Centimeters
There once was a fella named Kevin
Who claimed his dick went to eleven
He played truth or dare
They dared him to share
He barely whipped out half of seven
200508
200508
Yes, mistress!
There once was a mistress named Megan
She’d often leave wealthy men beggin’
She’d start with a tease
Then quick as you please
She’d bugger them good with a peggin’
200504
200501
200501
5318008 on a calculator
There once was a woman named Helen
With each boob as big as a melon
Each night her two mitts
Were squeezing those tits
Exploring her globes like Magellan
200429
200429
Presumptuous platitude
Feeling defective
And ineffective?
Your main objective –
Change your perspective!
200424
200424
That flick with his tail – quite a tricky
There once was a rodent named Mickey
Who asked Minnie Mouse for a quickie
She laughed in his face
That being the case
He banged Betty Boop with his dickey
200417
200417
Armadillo in his trousers
There once was a fella named Noel
Some say he was hung like a foal
He tried to pooh-pooh
But everyone knew
That lump in his pants wasn’t coal
200327
200327
At first his throat was a bit sore-us
There once was a PM named Boris
Who wanted his borders less pourous
But then he got sick
From some random chick
Because he had licked her clitoris