Category: Limerick

221118

221118
Come on you mighty Bruins!

The trojans are our biggest rival
To beat them would mean Chip’s survival
If we keep the bell
That sure would be swell
And might start the program’s revival

221021

221021
The asterisk PM

There once was a PM named Lizzie
Whose policies made people dizzy
She fucked up the pound
And got people down
Then quit in a bit of a tizzy

221014

221014
He plundered her booty

There once was a pirate named Aodhán
Who had a real knack for pursuadin’
A fine Irish lass
To show him her ass
And then he’d commence with invadin’

220923

220923
If the campervan’s a rockin’…

In autumn it can get quite chilly
And camping might seem pretty silly
To keep warm at night
We snuggle real tight
And play hide and seek with my willy

220819

220819
She wasn’t that choosy

There once was a woman named Susie
Who everyone called the town floozy
Gross men by the score
Would party and more
Right there in her filthy jacuzzi

220805

220805
100% chance of moisture

There was a young lass named Delaney
Who liked her boys rugged and brainy
When students with pecks
Would read books and flex
She’d get wet though it wasn’t rainy

220722

220722
Good to the last drop

A pretty lass went to São Paulo
Her faithful boyfriend he did follow
He rubbed tired feet
And lowered the seat
‘Cause he found a girl that would swallow

220701

220701
His mitre was quite ostentatious

A bishop who folks called Ignatius
Would drink beer and get quite pugnacious
He’d punch a few nuns
Then shoot off some guns
His sermons were lewd and salacious

220603

220603
Or not so secretly

There once was a man who was creepy
He’d often pretend to be sleepy
His snoring was fake
He’d lay there awake
And secretly rub on his pee pee

220527

220527
Me encanta tu plátano

There once was a man from Salinas
Who only went out with latinas
He loved snappy sass
Their apple-shaped ass
And they preferred his curvy penis

220520

220520
Fruit Salad

A swimmer who lived in Fontana
Got undressed inside a cabana
A woman walked in
And started to grin
When she saw his peach and banana

220429

220429
Click click

There once was a ginger named Rusty
Who had affairs torrid and lusty
He often spilled seed
But he did not breed
He shot blanks with balls that were dusty

220422

220422
His willy got woolly

There once was a wild Irish rover
Who tended to sheep as a drover
One night on the piss
A ewe gave a kiss
Then each night he got drunk all over

220415

220415
The death of Brian

There once was a fella named Brian
Nailed next to a fella who’s dyin’
The young fella said
Though he’d soon be dead
If you don’t see bright you’re not tryin’

220318

220318
Four-way hentai

There was a kaiju from Manila
Who thought his sex life too vanilla
He paid the madame
For wham-bang-and-bam
With Mothra, Rodan and Godzilla

220311

220311
Fill ‘er up fantasies

A greedy and vile petrol station
Would gouge due to war and inflation
The owner was caught
While sailing his yacht
The swift punishment was castration

220218

220218
So don’t let her get near your penis

There once was a dental hygienist
Who had a hot body like Venus
But she had a smell
The ninth ring of hell
Her own holes were far from the cleanest

220211

220211
She had an amazing opening

A woman who lived in Hoboken
Would argue ’cause she was outspoken
A champ at debate
Her oral was great
Then rebut that she needed pokin’

220204

220204
Every hen needs a cock

I met a young hottie at Ryan’s
Her friends were all sevens to nines
But she was a ten
A bride on her hen
Our weekend was late nights and lie ins

220107

220107
I don’t think she meant tobacco

The things that I do on the shitter…
Like scrolling through nonsense on Twitter
A raging debate
That caused so much hate?
A lass said she’s always a spitter

211229

211229
Boom! Bang! Whap! Doink!

There once was a head coach named Madden
His passing caused many to sadden
‘Cause year after year
The viewers would hear
His “Boom!” and then our hearts would gladden

211203

211203
Oh my gourd!

A couple named Pumpkin and Peter
Were cold so they sat by the heater
Pete wanted a bite
But try as he might
She was so hard, he couldn’t eat her

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