150928

150928
Try not to hate no worries mate

Worst part of the trip is the travel
It makes my brain start to unravel
From lengthy delays on the tarmac
To encumbered bags that hurt your back
Can’t sleep on the plane though I’m shit faced
And then one of our bags is misplaced
The vacation starts when you get there
But sitting around makes me lose hair

150925

150925
Good luck All Blacks!

Our two week trip is at an end
Into a cave we did descend
The glow worms shined as bright as stars
Like fireflies caught in blue jars
We’ve seen and done so many things
Hobbiton from Lord of the Rings
We ate food cooked over tea tree
But never saw a brown kiwi

150904

150904
#2 favorite republican

There’s no more paper on the roll
But I still have to clean my hole
I can’t find any ‘neath the sink
The stench in here it’s hard to think
I see a rag we never use
The stain it leaves looks like Ted Cruz
Vanilla Glade I freely spray
I think I’ll sell it on eBay

150902

150902
Do your job or quit!

Put down the pipe made out of cob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You need to let Jim marry Bob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
Don’t pander to the right wing mob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You’re thrice divorced you marriage snob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
Go be a clerk and shut your gob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You no good homophobic slob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!

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