220930
Bats fly when you’re having fun
At midnight tonight
My birthday month is over
Then it’s spooky time!
Month: September 2022
220927
220927
One small shit for man…
NASA shot a DART
Into an asteroid
They are really smart
They’re gainfully employed
I once shit a shart
Right past my hemorrhoid
I’m still scared to fart
I’m downright paranoid
220923
220923
If the campervan’s a rockin’…
In autumn it can get quite chilly
And camping might seem pretty silly
To keep warm at night
We snuggle real tight
And play hide and seek with my willy
220920
220920
50 first dates at 50
When you get to 50
Dating ain’t so nifty
All this endless dating
Made me end up hating
The whole dating process
So I cut my losses
Now, instead of dating
I’m home masturbating
220916
220916
A reduction in poe-ah-trees
Did you realize
There have been fewer poems?
Two days a week now
220913
220913
55 is the new 47
I’m still alive
At 55
Where will I be
At 63?
Will I be fine
At 69?
Will it be fun
At 81?
I just can’t wait
For 98!
220909
220909
The Boomtown Fats
The chocolate chips inside my mouth
Cause sugar overload
And nobody’s gonna send a text today
I’m gonna hide inside my home
And Brownie doesn’t understand it
I always eat till my belly’s swolled
And Linc can see no presents
‘Cause there are no presents
No presents for a man fully grown
(Makes me cry) I don’t like birthdays
(Makes me cry) I don’t like birthdays
(Makes me cry) I don’t like birthdays
My birthday suit don’t fit me now
Now, now, feel like a cow
Though it’s my birthday I’m feeling down right now
I’ve been eating cake for quite a while
I’ve swallowed too much and soon I’ll be learning
And the lesson today is don’t eat pie
And then the chip bag crackles and I have to tackle
Why I can’t see my feet or thighs
And I can see no presents
‘Cause there are no presents
Just candy wrappers piled up high, high, oh, oh oh!
And the chocolate chips inside my mouth
Cause sugar overload oh!
And nobody’s gonna send a text today
I’m gonna hide inside my home
And Brownie doesn’t understand it
I always eat till my belly’s swolled
And Linc can see no presents
‘Cause there are no presents
No presents for a man fully grown
(Makes me cry) I don’t like birthdays
(Makes me cry) I don’t like birthdays
(Makes me cry) I don’t like I don’t like
(Makes me cry) I don’t like birthdays
(Makes me cry) I don’t like I don’t like
(Makes me cry) I don’t like birthdays
(Makes me cry) I don’t like birthdays
My birthday suit don’t fit me now
220906
220906
Happy birthday today and every other day
Happy birthday
So nice to see
Happy birthday
It should be as good as can be
Oh happy birthday
Happy birthday make a wish for free
That on your birthday you will plant a money tree
Happy birthday
Have fun today
Happy birthday
I hope you just eat cake and play
Oh happy birthday
You’ll open your presents and party with glee
Oh happy birthday
I hope you sing this part with me
Every other day
Every other day
Every other day of the year is fine, yeah
But then when your birthday comes
But then when your birthday comes
You can find me rhymin’ all of the time
Happy birthday
Have fun today
Happy birthday
Don’t get carried away
Whoa, Happy birthday
Don’t go away
Happy birthday
It’s here to stay
Oh happy birthday
Oh happy birthday
220902
220902
Insincere commitments
Your commitment is insincere
You’re saying what I want to hear
But have no intention to keep
Because your promises are cheap