Poems and/or Drawings about things that are Naughty.
200318
We got this or else we’ll get that
I stay home to be complying
It ain’t great, but it beats dying
Keeping up my social distance
To continue this existence
Tons to do in isolation
Solo games and masturbation
Reading books and fighting sorrow
Wonder what I’ll do tomorrow…
200221
Using his pin to pull
There once was a man from Dún Laoghaire
A pioneer – horny and cheery
“A lad on the sauce
Is pushing with floss
That’s why I drink chai tea my deary”
200214
V for the D
Some cringe when they see VD Day
Cause VD’s a pain in the A
To them VD’s an STD
That feels like burning when they pee
And if you still abbreviate
Some Facebook friends will postulate
That you just want the world to see
You have a V for your wee D
200207
The homily was gas
The other day, I met a lass
Intoxicating charm and class
Good wine was drunk glass after glass
She beckoned me to tap her ass
An offer that I could not pass
A lovely way to spend a mass
200127
#DollyPartonChallenge
Did a challenge made by Dolly
Showing I am fun and jolly
The first photo was for LinkedIn
It’s the one I look most pink in
Silly side for good old Facebook
Instagram – my hot and cool look
Hoping that the one for Tinder
Leaves you smoking like a cinder
My best self in four dimensions
Seeking all of your attentions
Hope you don’t feel you’ve been cheated
But this challenge is completed
200117
Balls on pen island
I have a pen with balls on it
They flop and bop but they all fit
One ball is red, two more are blue
It has more balls than just these few
Play with the balls, they twist and bend
You’ll tease these balls like your boyfriend
The black balls sag, the others wag
This pen is fun and not a drag
One ball is pink, two more are green
The weirdest pen you’ve ever seen
Though it is strange I’m sure it can
Write a strange rhyme for this strange man
200110
Ask your doctor if boner juice is right for you
There is a first mate in Balbriggan
Who got his balls caught in the riggin’
Now he cannot blast
Or get to full mast
Unless boner juice he is swiggin’
200103
7″ wonder of the world
A tourist who visited Agra
Decided to tryout viagra
At the Taj Mahal
He swallowed them all
His balls emptied just like Niagara
191220
He drove Ky and Lo
There once was a Driver named Adam
Who liked to speed over macadam
He flew down the line
Doing sixty nine
To get to his favorite madam
191206
I want to see everyone!
It is way too full
But I will cram some more in
That is what she said
191115
What were they like before?!?
There was an old fishwife named Molly
Who helped a blue genie dodge folly
When given a wish
“I want these damn fish
To smell like my pussy by golly!”
191108
Kept her busy
This lass took her lad, and she showed him
To my doctor friend, and I quote him
“This guy in Tralee
Has not two but three!
That’s why he’s known as Frankenscrotum”
191018
It’s beyond me…
They have a blow out
They just want to use the phone
But rose tints their world
191016
…pation!
There once was a Furter named Frank-N
Whose Rocky was built for his wankin’
But Janet designed
To blow Rocky’s mind
With touchin’ and thrillin’ and thankin’
191014
I see you shiver with antici…
Now’s the time we talk of Rocky
Brad Majors was kind of cocky
Janet Weiss did not like getting
Into scenes that caused seat wetting
Dr. Frank liked looking pretty
Eddie sang a little ditty
Then he got a damn good whacking
Said the man whose neck was lacking
Dr. Scott rode in a buggy
Riff Raff was a balding druggie
And his spying sis Magenta
With Columbia would yenta
Lastly there was Frank’s creation
Who was built for fornication
More than just a midnight movie
Rocky Horror Show is groovy
191004
Sacred sausage
There was a nun named Sister Egan
Who loved her veg ’cause she was vegan
She also liked wheat
But never touched meat
Unless it came from Father Keegan
190918
Halfway to Paddy’s day
Boiling praties in a pot
Wearing wellies my mum bought
Hoping Rory score a try
Matching braces with my tie
Drying trousers out the back
Giving out and what’s the craic?
Chancing for a shift or shag
Living here is not a drag
190816
Not the hypothalamus
There was a lonely man
Who had a needy gland
The throbbing in his hand
Pulsed like a reggae band
He did the deed as planned
The climax felt so grand
190729
730 Jean free days 💔
Two years ago I lost my wife
While others choose this day to weep
The end does not define her life
Her memory each day I keep
190722
In that order
Get good wine – must imbibe
Get some spam – unsubscribe
Get bad breath – brush my teeth
Get some wood – find relief
190410
Is maith liom feoil dorcha
I wish I was a polyglot
But one language is all I’ve got
I tried Spanish and Irish too
“Hello”, “Goodbye”, and “How are you?”
So, Duolingo helps to train
These languages inside my brain
190329
Super secret sauce
There once was a top chef named Davy
Who traveled the world with the Navy
This world renowned cook
Left out of his book
His method for making man gravy
190320
Sharkey malarkey
There once was a fella named Fearghal
Who liked to go downtown to burgle
He once came across
Some white, lukewarm sauce
A mouthful he did swish and gurgle
190301
“Are you guilty?” “Neigh!”
There once was a fella named Niall
Who broke the law and was on trial
For shagging a horse
He argued of course
The horse said he was in denial
190225
And then I wake up
“Mmm hmm! Uh huh! Yeah, pull my hair!”
“Like that! Oh yeah! I’m almost there!”
“That feels so good! Don’t stop! Go! go!”
“Right there! Oh god! I’m gonna blow!”
Into the night, their bodies sweat
At last, she asks, “Are you done yet?!”
190215
I’ll boldly go!
A red-head on Star Trek named Tilly
Is brainy and friendly and silly
At first a cadet
Then Klingon War vet
She gives we warp nine in my willy
181228
Last limerick of 2018
The end of the year is forthcoming
The constant bad news is quite numbing
So lie yourselves down
And both go to town
And try 69 with some humming
181214
Be more than one flavor
There once was a fella named Santa
Who scored whores in downtown Atlanta
While giving him head
A toothless one said
“His jism tastes just like grape Fanta!”
181207
It’s time for some Crosby and Bowie
There was a nice woman named Zoe
Who made men smile when it was snowy
The use of her hand
Was certainly grand
But she preferred giving a blowy
181130
Or Nick Nolte
There once was a woman named Lucy
The gossip ’bout her was quite juicy
Said Ethel, her foe
“Her hair down below
Was shaved to look like Gary Busey”
181123
She liked to get women to plow her
There was a lass named for a flower
Who was full of sexual power
She conquered her men
Again and again
Wherever she went boys would cower
