200214
V for the D
Some cringe when they see VD Day
Cause VD’s a pain in the A
To them VD’s an STD
That feels like burning when they pee
And if you still abbreviate
Some Facebook friends will postulate
That you just want the world to see
You have a V for your wee D
200212
Escaping with games
When it’s this cold, I’d rather hide
Under warm throws and stay inside
But I love games, so once a week
I revel in my outer geek
Into the pub, I jitterbug
And slide into a cozy snug
I have a pint and see my mates
We roll some dice and curse our fates
I do not keep a record sheet
Of all the times I taste defeat
While victories are always fun
I feel like I’ve already won
200210
Hello Mary Lou!
The country’s run by corporate sheep
The Left’s asleep! The Left’s asleep!
On trolley beds do elders weep
While pay is low and rent is steep
On Saturday the dam did break
The Left’s awake! The Left’s awake!
Let old FG and FF quake
It’s Sinn Féin’s turn for Erin’s sake
200207
The homily was gas
The other day, I met a lass
Intoxicating charm and class
Good wine was drunk glass after glass
She beckoned me to tap her ass
An offer that I could not pass
A lovely way to spend a mass
200205
Sinn Féin – Vótáil 1!!!
I will not vote for Fine Gael
An FF vote would be a fail
I have much more than half a brain
That’s why I’m voting for Sinn Féin
200131
The long goodbye
No longer Europe’s friend
You thought it best to end
So long
We wanted you to stay
But you fled anyway
Farewell
You will not see us grieve
When all you tories leave
Auf Wiedersehen
Don’t let the door hit ya
Where the good Lord split ya
Adieu
200129
Clouding my judgement
Is it just wishful thinking?
Or is the darkness shrinking?
The days are getting longer
My will is growing stronger
But cloudy silver lining
Is blocking all the shining!
200127
#DollyPartonChallenge
Did a challenge made by Dolly
Showing I am fun and jolly
The first photo was for LinkedIn
It’s the one I look most pink in
Silly side for good old Facebook
Instagram – my hot and cool look
Hoping that the one for Tinder
Leaves you smoking like a cinder
My best self in four dimensions
Seeking all of your attentions
Hope you don’t feel you’ve been cheated
But this challenge is completed
200124
Eff the Effers
FF and FG
Can Eff themselves eternally
It’s time for SF
And every party from the left
200122
Just one more thing…
When I hit a groove, I work really great
But I don’t begin until it’s too late
I’m doing my best to get going soon
But I find it hard to start before noon
Despite this slight hitch, I still have my pride
So I will push these distractions aside
My pets are downstairs, I’ve locked up the boys
I’ve tidied my space, I’ve muted the noise
I know I’ll do well, I’ll give it my most
I have one more thing this poem to post
200120
Number two for you
Some posters want my number one
But I can’t piss that high
I’ll take a shit and when I’m done
I’ll throw it in their eye
200117
Balls on pen island
I have a pen with balls on it
They flop and bop but they all fit
One ball is red, two more are blue
It has more balls than just these few
Play with the balls, they twist and bend
You’ll tease these balls like your boyfriend
The black balls sag, the others wag
This pen is fun and not a drag
One ball is pink, two more are green
The weirdest pen you’ve ever seen
Though it is strange I’m sure it can
Write a strange rhyme for this strange man
200113
Hidden talents
Yesterday I hid in the sun
It was hot and it sure was fun
Now today I hide in a cloud
It is wet and thunder is loud
And someday I’ll hide in the moon
When it’s safe and that won’t be soon
200108
Made you look
I make a thing that no one sees
It can’t be touched nor can you squeeze
I make this thing three times a week
I know you know of what I speak
This thing is made out of my brain
If I don’t rhyme, I’ll go insane
This thing I make I hope you care
And if you do, I hope you share
200106
Now that’s deep
We are finite and infinite
We live a lifetime in our shell
Our eternity fits in it
But it’s not a bottomless well
191230
You say, “Stop” but I say, “Go, go, go”
At midnight the bells will be ringing
Of course Auld Lang Syne we’ll be singing
I hope that the new year is bringing
Relief to soothe all of the stinging
That 2019 generated
Goodbye to the things that we hated
Hello to the love we’ve awaited
Here’s wishing we’ll all be elated
191223
That must have been some doll
I really hope this Festivus
Brings good cheer for the rest of us
I’ll win the feats of strength no doubt
And grievances may get aired out
But there’s no hate around my pole
While Black Pete brings you lumps of coal
There had to be another way
And Festivus became that day
Remember in just two days time
The Christmas bells will start to chime
For peace on earth, goodwill to all
Who bought their son a lovely doll
191218
Darkness imprisoning me
Not only has today been dark
It’s rained enough to launch an ark
The wet and cold are now allied
I do not wish to go outside
191216
Apologies to Reg
I can’t find sun in Irish wintertime
I know it’s cold, but that’s another deal
Outside’s darkness when I hit snooze on the damn alarm
But these clocks I have, hard to believe their time is real
(Chorus)
Don’t let the sun go down at three
When walking home from town, it’s always dark and I can’t see
So please allow a small beam of that light to shine on me
‘Cause here at wintertime is like the sun going down at three
191211
Thanks Jessica!
Two things you should know about crêpes
Is crêpes cannot be many shapes
‘Cause mostly they are round and flat
And eating them won’t make you fat
While one of those things isn’t true
I still want to eat one or two
And one or two can’t make me fat
So there is the truth and that’s that
191209
I’m getting out of Cali
The last two weeks were number one
Though I was always on the run
And rain and clouds obscured the sun
But seeing friends was really fun
I played some games and even won
Time with my folks – second to none
I did so much – I did a ton
A great two weeks but now it’s done
191204
What the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks?!?
In California, the weather is nice
So they play hockey inside and on ice
On the Emerald Isle, you can freeze your ass
So they play hockey outside and on grass
191202
Sean-Con 2019
They say you can’t go home again
But I went back and met a friend
A second friend! A third! A fourth!
So many friends I have up north
We played some games and ate good food
Which put me in a happy mood
I had some wine they drank some beer
Can’t wait to do again next year
191129
Black like my soul
It’s time to turn the ledgers black
Just buy that bullshit on the rack
Spend money at your favorite store
Shop till it hurts, then shop some more
191125
Sorry about the mess
The shower is the place to be
If you are nude and need to pee
Another thing that you can do
Is wash your hair while making poo
You probably think that I am sick
To go and do this dirty trick
I’m not a freak, I do declare
It’s why there is a drain in there
191122
Let’s retain the victory bell-y
In Westwood a Bruin named Kelley
Has rushing skills that make you jelly
When he gets the ball
It will show to all
That u$c trojans are smelly
191118
I love UCLA
I hate $c, I really do
I hate $c, they smell like poo
I hate $c, they light my fuse
I hate $c, I hope they lose
191113
It also came early
I heard there was some snow nearby
At least one flake fell from the sky
I wipe some moisture from my eye
“It’s time for fruitcake and mince pie!
The tree and lights are standing by!
I’ll get mom shoes and dad a tie!
Let’s take some pix with that fat guy!
IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME!” – my battle cry
191111
A cake made out of babies
Playful nicknames is a duty
How ’bout babycakes or cutie?
Is he charming? Is he funny?
Maybe call him honey bunny
Does she shine with every fiber?
Sweetie pea might best describe her
If their presence makes you sizzle
They might be your swizzle pizzle
If you’ve found the perfect crony
Be sincere and don’t be phony
It’s alright if it is corny
Or a name that make them horny
If they are your dearest dandle
Find for them a heartfelt handle
If it’s thoughtful and not solemn
It won’t matter what you call ’em
191106
Miss Jean
Every day there’s pain and sorrow
It will still be there tomorrow
Though I know her love and laughter
Will be there forever after
191104
Insomnia is my biggest vice
I forgot to go to bed
Bees are buzzing in my head
Skipping sleep sure is not wise
I’ll just sit and close my eyeszzzzzzzzzz…
