Poems and/or Drawings about Food.
190626
Life of Summer
Dead of Winter for our game night
Though midsummer and no frostbite
Zombies think we’re on the menu
Our survivors search each venue
Hospital and police station
Emptied decks at each location
Not one dude was undead dinner
Met my goal, so I was winner!
190517
When the saints go marching in
There is a long walk
Before a long wake
The priest gives a talk
Before tea and cake
The friends laugh and cry
And all shed a tear
With glasses raised high
They all give a cheer
190515
We’ll get some bread at Eurospar
To take my parents really far
I hired us a motorcar
It’s Japanese, not a Jaguar
A ride like that would be bizarre
We’ll go from here to Castlebar
Might even stop in Mullingar
If they return without a scar
They’ll think of me as a rock star
190506
Fish and trips
My tragedy was Brownie’s wish
Because I dropped my chips and fish
I walked him back to where they spilled
And then he ate till he was filled
Tonight I mourn my takeaway
To Brownie, it’s “the bestest day!”
190422
Let the sunshine in
A summer day happened in spring
With bright sunshine and everything
I ate some tasty barbecue
With some good friends and new friends too
190415
Be thankful I don’t take it all
Please do not laugh, this isn’t funny
At breakfast time my eggs were runny
Brownie and Linc ate all my honey
It’s raining now, no longer sunny
The taxman came and took my money
Perhaps I’ll eat the Easter bunny
190405
My CV is curiously vast
Today I had an interview
But not one job, it was for two
And when they tell me, “We want you!”
I’ll celebrate with Irish stew
190329
Super secret sauce
There once was a top chef named Davy
Who traveled the world with the Navy
This world renowned cook
Left out of his book
His method for making man gravy
190227
With the Mat of Mayhem!
Sushi Go! starter
Munchkin Unicorns and Friends
For epic main course
190222
Human food dispenser
If my Brownie Bear could talk
All he’d say is “Food!” and “Walk!”
If my little Linc could speak
He’d yell, “I NEED FOOD YOU FREAK!”
Glad they can’t articulate
Neverending scorn and hate
190130
Ignoble warming
When it gets to -1
Go outside for icy fun
When it gets to -2
Ears and nose start turning blue
When it gets to -3
Snot freezes on my goatee
When it gets to -4
Milk and bread brawls at the store
When it gets to -5
That’s when snowmen come alive
When it gets to -6
Beat them back with burning sticks
-7, -8
Cold War isn’t going great
When it gets to -9
Frosty’s friends are looking fine
When it gets to -10
Build snow women for snowmen
Only way to win this war
Go inside and shut the door
181224
Happy Xmas 2018!
I wish all days were Christmas Eve
The time of year when we believe
That someday we’ll get peace on earth
And everyone is full of mirth
When kitchens are chock-full of food
And Christmas punch can fix your mood
There’s so much fun, no one will leave
I wish all days were Christmas Eve
181217
That might be their plan
When I am sick, my pets don’t care
I need to walk my Brownie Bear
And Linc will yell until he’s fed
They’ll eat my corpse when I am dead
180926
They enjoyed Kilkenny
Vacation for my mom and dad
A splendid trip I hope they had
We ate and drank and had the craic
They went to Mayo and came back
We toured Kilkenny without rain
But now they’re leaving on a plane
Until I see them in twelve weeks
Ignore the tear stains on my cheeks
180905
The gift that keeps giving
Another journey ‘round the sun
Another year of joy and fun
Another trip with plans to make
Another candle on your cake
Another chance to get your kicks
Another person drawn with sticks
Another post that’s so sublime
Another silly birthday rhyme
180829
The music never stopped
Headphones on and walking the town
I’m getting out and getting down
I’m getting milk and getting bread
Listening to the Grateful Dead
180620
He kept it well stocked with grape jelly
There was an old drunkard named Kelly
Whose clothes were so soiled they were smelly
In his dressing gown
To stay sitting down
He put his fridge under the telly
180615
Taco of Gibraltar
There once was a foodie named Rocco
Who wanted to eat the best taco
Papaya and goat
Served on the love boat
Half way between Spain and Morocco
180228
Downward farting dog
Brownie has a dootie
Brewing in his booty
Though he is my buddy
His stench is real cruddy
What is in his belly
That could be so smelly?
Maybe it’s the fish skin
That he had for din-din
Now my nose is smarting
“Brownie please stop farting!
Your ass gas is rotten
Go and get to squattin’!”
180212
They make more money than me
First day at new job
My pets are my coworkers
And they brought donuts
180119
Anything but plain
There once was a lass on an airplane
Who spilled so her jeans had a wine stain
Her goldfish she shared
Attention was snared
Creating the legend of plane Jane
180115
This little piggy went to Waterford
There was a fat man from Dungarvan
Who sharpened his knives to start carvin’
He slaughtered a beast
And cooked a huge feast
Then ate it all like he was starvin’
171122
Thank you Jelly Moo <3
The thing I’m thankful for this fall
Is getting to know Jean at all
I’m grateful that we got to meet
Together we were both complete
We pledged our love for our lifespan
And she made me a better man
My Sweetie Pea and my best friend
My love for Jean will never end
170826
I know you said you’d wait for me
I hope you’re right my Sweetie Pea
The hardest thing I’ll ever do
Is say goodbye to Jelly Moo
My Sweetie Pea is here no more
She will not walk through our front door
She will not cook us awesome food
Or show kindness and gratitude
She will not laugh at silly jokes
Or suffer all those needle pokes
Without our Jean, the world is dark
Her happy smile won’t make a spark
The loss of Jean has caused a hole
There’s one less aunt for young Nicole
Her siblings knew they could count on
The young Jeannie who is now gone
Let’s not forget her awesome friends
As ratings go, she gave them tens
Although she’s gone, she is still here
Our memories won’t disappear
As we recall that pretty face
And how she changed every workplace
She read a lot and knew so much
Our lives transformed with by her sweet touch
There is no way we could forget
The best person we’ve ever met
170703
Happy fucking Fourth of July
On this sad 4th of July
The Jizztrumpet makes me cry
He shows allies no respect
World wide image is now wrecked
Presidential he is not
Melting down our melting pot
Every tweet’s a dis or brag
It’s like shitting on the flag
Though we beg, urge and beseech
GOP will not impeach
While you eat your barbecue
The POTUS is fucking you
170607
As good as chicken soup
Nothing really sounds that yummy
When you have an upset tummy
At both ends you feel real crummy
Only cure’s a kiss from mummy
170605
Everybody spread the word
Last weekend we did celebrate
Jean’s fond farewell to forty-eight
We drove up north to watch a play
And spent the night in Morro Bay
The drive was smooth, the weather fine
We ate good food and drank great wine
So many friends to hang out with
To honor her this June the Fifth
She’s so awesome, I have to say
We should make this a holiday
170505
Think before you drink
From Las Vegas to Lima, Ohio
Gringos celebrate Cinco de Mayo
They’ll drink más Coronas and Dos Equis
And power down nachos with gloppy cheese
Bros revel in their appropriation
Hailing a wall that block immigration
Of course the irony does not stop there
Back in Mexico they simply don’t care
170424
She’s a dancing machine
I really love my sweetie Jean
From one to ten, she’s a fifteen
She’s super smart, her wit is keen
She makes the hard work seem routine
She’s a great cook, such fine cuisine
She perks me up more than caffeine
She’s always nice and never mean
I’m not a king, but she’s my queen
170421
Hundred-to-one haiku
Delicious dinners
Fun friends, good gambling, swank shops
Vegas vacation
170414
Technically he was a lich
Hiding eggs behind tomatoes
Lamb and ham and cheese potatoes
Peeps and candy bunnies please us
All because of Zombie Jesus
