Tag: Celebrities

Poems and/or Drawings about Celebrities.

140117

140117
Just say nyet!

There are those that are gluten-free
But the world should be Putin-free
He’s as bad as Josef Stalin
Russia’s status is free-fallin’
They are hosting the winter games
While his speeches are fanning flames
His views are as thick as a brick
Vladimir Putin – you’re a dick!

140115

140115
Banksy even tagged our wall

Justin Bieber egged our house
Got TP’ed by Mickey Mouse
Left Eye tried to burn us down
Neighbors always wear a frown
Someone left a burning bag
Smelled so bad it made us gag
If our neighbors don’t improve
Think that we will have to move

140111

140111
Copied a copy-cat

Yesterday I posted a spoof
Of plagiarist Shia LaBeouf
Copying is not creative
And his work was replicative
This asshole has no discretion
He even stole his confession
He sky wrote and tweeted a pic
Thus making him Shia LaDick
So don’t worry, you can relax
There have been no recent attacks
My poems are not abating
I will never #stopcreating

1216

1216
If Jesus were brown, and Santa was black
Megyn Kelly would have a heart attack

I’m dreaming of a brown Jesus
Just like the man from Bethlehem
Megyn Kelly thinks it’s needless
If he’s not white, she would condemn
I’m dreaming of a Black Santa
With every poem that I write
He’s bringing gifts to Atlanta
But Megyn thinks that isn’t right
May you get a gift from his sack
And may all your Santas be black

1211

1211
Wheaton’s Law @wilw

Here are some rules for a good life
When leaving the house, kiss your wife
Don’t put other’s down out of spite
Do what you can to stop a fight
When eating chips, don’t double dip
You should always leave a nice tip
Don’t cut in line or steal a space
Your life’s a journey not a race
Don’t ever call a girl a chick
Above all else – don’t be a dick

1108

1108
Cruisin for a bruisin

There’s more insanity from Tom Cruise?
It’s nothing but crazy that he spews
He claims his job as a leading man
Is like fighting in Afghanistan
It’s well past time we forgot this slouch
Whose best role was jumping on a couch

0923

0923
Being green costs a lot of green

Tesla was once known for a coil
Now it’s a car that needs no oil
I saw one in Los Alamos
For that town, it was grandiose
No place for an electric car
Owned by an aging movie star
Getting drunk in a wine-fueled haze
Kind of like that movie Sideways
Is the car about being green
Or do you get it to be seen?
Electric cars are close at hand
But this one is a hundred grand!

0918

0918
She does not dawdle

Kelly is a plus-sized porn model
Who posts smart blogs not silly twaddle
Though she started late
Her acting’s first rate
Just watch her partners shoot their waddle

0827

0827
Why is it a handbasket?

What’s the criteria
For war with Syria?
Are chemical attacks
The motivating facts?
Odom’s habit’s well known
Nerds wait for new iPhone
Microsoft needs new head
Neil Armstrong is still dead
As Yosemite burns
Our ill-fated world turns

0826

0826
Remember when they played videos?

Questions raised at the VMAs
Does Taylor Swift deserve the praise?
Did Lady Gaga’s costumes flop?
Is Timberlake new King of Pop?
Who knew N’Sync was still working?
Why the heck was Miley twerking?

0823

0823
Jersey Girl wasn’t that bad

Never known for having priorities straight
Comic book geeks are unreasonably irate
Keeping in mind we dropped the bomb on Japan
The worst thing ever is Affleck as Batman
It’s hard to argue when the heads aren’t level
“He sucked in Gigli. He sucked as Daredevil”
Is it really his fault that those movies failed?
“Yes! Get a cross and make sure his hands are nailed!”
He’s no Brando, but I liked him in “Mallrats”
So, throw down the pitchforks and let go the bats
Your quarrel is as moot as this is bizarre
Peter Dinklage Hula Hooped at a gay bar

0724

0724
Makes me want to gorge

Willie and Kate chose a name
Regal and worthy of fame
The name agrees with most folk
It’s not the butt of a joke
Oh the paths this king will forge!
‘Cause nothing bad rhymes with George
But that’s not true for Georgie
They forgot about orgy!

0722

0722
Didn’t we fight a war to not care?

So, Kate and Willie popped out a boy
Women around the world jump for joy
From Buckingham Palace to Beijing
Such excitement for this future king
But for the moment, he’s just a prince
And all this chatter makes most men wince

0529

0529
Hump day Howard

Lisa and Ronnie finally kiss
Ronnie doesn’t think squirting is piss
Too much Mambo will make Lisa sick
You can play piano with your dick
Maria Menounos won’t pour beer
So Kevin puts it in Richard’s rear
The things you learn that you didn’t know
All today on the Howard Stern show

0507

0507
God shave the king

I don’t really give a fuck
But we’ll soon have a King Chuck
Queen Liz is 87
And on her way to heaven
She’s number one by and large
But, she’s putting Charles in charge
He will travel in her place
And be “King” as a test case
Most Britons love QE2
And don’t want to bid adieu
Yet time catches up to all
While Charles waits for his call

0426

0426
Without belief in deities

We’ve all listened to John Lennon
Sing “Imagine there’s no heaven”
I don’t imagine anymore
Opened my mind and closed that door
Don’t spend my time wondering why
I know what happens when we die
If this offends, it’s not meant to
Its just what I know to be true

0409

0409
Josh Whiffs-a-ton

I don’t worry about North Korea
Or if GMOs cause diarrhea
I don’t care that Lohan’s on Letterman
Or when Tom Cruise will be a better man
I don’t know about any of that shit
But when will Josh Hamilton get a hit?

0404

0404
R.I.P. @ebertchicago

Sadly, Roger Ebert has passed
His knowledge of movies was vast
He and Siskel gave us two thumbs
Up for the champs, down for the bums
His favorites included Fargo
Citizen Kane, Ran and Argo
He disapproved of top ten lists
Opinions like his will be missed
He lived life; he didn’t hold back
At the Movies now fades to black

0330

0330
Thanks @wilw

When you observe #TableTopDay
It only matters that you play
The object isn’t win or lose
Or about drinking Mt. Dews
Whether you play Munchkin, Catan,
Dixit, Zombie Dice or San Juan
The basic goal is to have fun
It won’t matter who lost or won

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