Tag: Celebrities

160422

160422
I hope he’s laughing in the purple rain

Delirious, Controversy,
Take me with U, Let’s Go Crazy,
Purple Rain, Erotic City
Soft and Wet and Darling Nikki
From Hollywood to Paisley Park
On pop music, Prince left his mark
Oh purple one, we say goodbye
And now it’s more than doves that cry

160401

160401
International Trump day

Brownie and Raven are good dogs
On weekends, we go riding hogs
I want to move to the UK
I want to work all night and day
Trojans and Yankees are my faves
Olives and mushrooms are my craves
Corned Beef is the best Irish food
That Kanye West is one cool dude
I like DC more than Marvel
I like life forms that were larval
The best rock group is Fleetwood Mac
My life is planned by zodiac
Tom Cruise told me about Xenu
It fits right in with my world view
As president, Trump has the tools
If you believe this – April Fools!

160304

160304
His hands do look small

Let’s analyze last night’s debate
By candidates I love to hate
They gave us more hyperbole
A booger eaten on TV
The next thing really made me sick
We got to hear about Trump’s dick
I don’t know why he’s in first place
I want to move to outer space

160224

160224
Maybe I’ll go back to prayer

First you take a billionaire
Make sure he has awful hair
And devoid of savoir faire
Pander so he gets on air
Spews out venom everywhere
Policies are hate and scare
Plays to dumb crowds with fanfare
Welcome to our Trump nightmare

160118

160118
Thank you Dr. King!

Your dream inspired
A fight for equality
And a long weekend

160115

160115
Yippee ki-yay professor

We knew him as Gruber and Snape
From terrorist to wizard’s cape
Alan Rickman was many things
The voice of god with angel’s wings
He was the voice of Marvin too
He questioned Alice – “Who are you?”
“By Grabthar’s hammer” – his catchphrase
Will we miss Rickman? Yes – “Always”

160113

160113
If I win you win

1.5 billion with a B
Is much more than F U money
That’s up there with Buffett and Gates
So I’ll share some with all me mates

160111

160111
RIP The Man Who Sold the World

No more Space Oddity
No more The Jean Genie
No more Fame or Ziggy
No more David Bowie

151230

151230
So long 2015!

2016 is almost here
It’s time to look back on the year
In Paris there were two attacks
White lives don’t matter less than blacks
ISIS proceeds to terrorize
And mass shootings are on the rise
Another Bush; Trump wants a wall
The Right has no one good at all
Glad Star Wars fans around the block
Sad Star Trek fans lost Mr. Spock
Australia was a lot of fun
Then Jean and I toured Hobbiton
Later we lost Eugene and Lou
But now there’s one more thing to do
So raise your glass and give a cheer
It’s time to say, “Happy New Year!”

151127

151127
That’s how I want the game to be

On Saturday ’bout half past three
As Sark sips his peach daiquiri
There’ll be a Bruin victory
Another loss for ol’ $c
That will beget malicious glee
I’d put that ‘neath our christmas tree

150904

150904
#2 favorite republican

There’s no more paper on the roll
But I still have to clean my hole
I can’t find any ‘neath the sink
The stench in here it’s hard to think
I see a rag we never use
The stain it leaves looks like Ted Cruz
Vanilla Glade I freely spray
I think I’ll sell it on eBay

150826

150826
Go back to Univision

There is a reporter named Jorge
He’s awesome and he deserves more pay
He interviewed Trump
And proved Don’s a chump
Today should be Ramos adore day

150629

150629
All we need is… A big win

They built Vegas in the desert
A lot of dreams on sand and dirt
Sweetie Pea and Honey Bunny
Went there to win stacks of money
They parked their car in the garage
And then saw Love at the Mirage
Cirque du Soleil with the Fab Four
Part rock concert, but so much more
A better show they can’t recall
A splendid time was had by all

150525

150525
We got our ya-ya’s out

We saw the Stones at Petco Park
The opener was Gary Clark
Our souvenirs took all our cash
They started with Jumping Jack Flash
All Down the Line and Moonlight Mile
Honky Tonk Women made us smile
Mick left the stage for some Keith fun
He played Before They Make Me Run
Lisa shined on Gimme Shelter
Lovely voice that nature dealt her
Their Sympathy for the Devil
Took us to a higher level
Brown Sugar before the fake end
Wish they played Waiting on a Friend
You Can’t Always Get What You Want
Mick and the boys look so damn gaunt
Satisfaction closed the concert
Time to purchase a bootleg shirt
The Rolling Stones proved they still rock
Even though they’re as old as Bach

150520

150520
Top 10 reasons we’re sad

10. No more lists that go to ten
9. No more Regis on again
8. No more banter with ol’ Paul
7. No more velcro on the wall
6. No more reading viewer mail
5. No more Paris out of jail
4. No more stupid human tricks
3. No more flipping cards like bricks
2. No more will I stay up late
1. Goodbye Dave, you’re more than great!

150413

150413
HRC > GOP

Hillary’s prez bid should not stun
She’s the first First Lady to run
I kind of hope that when it’s done
She’ll be the first lady who’s won

150204

150204
Raise your fin if you’re a left shark

Left shark, left shark dancing on stage
Rocking out for minimum wage
Can’t dance on time, can’t keep the beat
His downfall was his two left feet

141209

141209
To health in a handbasket

The POTUS on Stephen Colbert
Talking about Obamacare
He did a segment – The Decree
That gave the Nation so much glee
One thing he said sure was neato
He’s not scared to use the veto
Why would the prez want to amuse?
Because the kids don’t watch the news

141205

141205
Read in Morgan Freeman’s voice

You feel it in your heart
You feel it in your feet
You really need to fart
Afraid you’ll stain the sheet
You take a breath of air
And clench your muscles tight
You squeeze it out with care
But hold with all your might
It makes a squelching blast
Your heart is filled with dread
You let it out too fast
You’ve gone and shit the bed

141203

141203
1 in 68 American kids

Autistics aren’t deaf, dumb and blind
But each one is one-of-a-kind
Sometimes they stack or group their toys
Or show distress when near loud noise
Compulsion and repetition
Lack of facial recognition
Though stars made it a sensation
It’s not caused by vaccination
The only thing that can be cured
Is stop using the mean R-word

141103

141103
Obligatory Madonna and Judy Garland reference

Everybody knows
The pride parade goes
Over the rainbows
Then they strike a pose

141015

141015
Save the sweater puppies

More precious than rubies
We must save the boobies
We looks ’cause we gottas
We must save the tatas
For Rosies and Ellens
We must save the melons
From goth to punk rockers
We must save the knockers
As seen on computers
We must save the hooters
From Yuma to Yonkers
We must save the honkers
They feel good on shoulders
We must save the boulders
Enjoyed in all cities
We must save the titties

140815

140815
San Francisco Bay Blues

Last night at the Stick, we saw Paul
Beatles and Wings – he played it all
From Blackbird to Band on the Run
Jean and I had a lot of fun
Let it Be and Live and Let Die
So awesome we were Hi, Hi, Hi
Maybe I’m Amazed, but I’ll say
That was fucking great Yesterday

140811

140811
Carpe diem

You made our sides split
Even though you hurt inside
Rest in peace Robin

140625

140625
He needs to Kim Jong Chill

Because of Franco and Rogen
The world might go to war again
“The Interview” is coming soon
In which they murder Kim Jong Un
He’s accusing them of terror
I think his critique’s in error
I guess his humor has no sense
Because he’s threatened our defense
If he’s no fan of comedy
I wonder what he’d do to me

140521

140521
I’d like to solve the puzzle

Wheel of Fortune’s Pat Sajak
Is as dull as dental plaque
He goes trolling on twitter
And he comes off as bitter
He pokes fun at climate change
And takes pix at a gun range
He puts down women and gays
His opinions cause malaise
Please don’t follow Pat Sajak
Sony should give him the sack