140225
Who you gonna call?
There was a Ghostbuster named Egon
Who knew how to contain a hell spawn
With particle beams
You don’t cross the streams
But he did, and now he has passed on
Tag: Celebrities
Poems and/or Drawings about Celebrities.
140215
140215
They were fabulous at the Forum
We just saw Simon and Sting
Those two guys can really sing
From The Boxer to Fragile
They both proved they have it still
140123
140123
Hold tight
There once was a singer named Bieber
Who worked teen girls into a fever
But then he got caught
Fast driving and pot
In jail he will be a receiver
140117
140117
Just say nyet!
There are those that are gluten-free
But the world should be Putin-free
He’s as bad as Josef Stalin
Russia’s status is free-fallin’
They are hosting the winter games
While his speeches are fanning flames
His views are as thick as a brick
Vladimir Putin – you’re a dick!
140115
140115
Banksy even tagged our wall
Justin Bieber egged our house
Got TP’ed by Mickey Mouse
Left Eye tried to burn us down
Neighbors always wear a frown
Someone left a burning bag
Smelled so bad it made us gag
If our neighbors don’t improve
Think that we will have to move
140113
140111
140111
Copied a copy-cat
Yesterday I posted a spoof
Of plagiarist Shia LaBeouf
Copying is not creative
And his work was replicative
This asshole has no discretion
He even stole his confession
He sky wrote and tweeted a pic
Thus making him Shia LaDick
So don’t worry, you can relax
There have been no recent attacks
My poems are not abating
I will never #stopcreating
1220
1219
1219
At least nobody was surprised
A rednecked hillbilly
From dynasty of ducks
Thinks butt sex is silly
And costs himself some bucks
“Jim Crow made blacks happy”
He said ignorantly
If he’s the clan’s pappy
How dumb is his family?
1216
1216
If Jesus were brown, and Santa was black
Megyn Kelly would have a heart attack
I’m dreaming of a brown Jesus
Just like the man from Bethlehem
Megyn Kelly thinks it’s needless
If he’s not white, she would condemn
I’m dreaming of a Black Santa
With every poem that I write
He’s bringing gifts to Atlanta
But Megyn thinks that isn’t right
May you get a gift from his sack
And may all your Santas be black
1211
1211
Wheaton’s Law @wilw
Here are some rules for a good life
When leaving the house, kiss your wife
Don’t put other’s down out of spite
Do what you can to stop a fight
When eating chips, don’t double dip
You should always leave a nice tip
Don’t cut in line or steal a space
Your life’s a journey not a race
Don’t ever call a girl a chick
Above all else – don’t be a dick
1108
1108
Cruisin for a bruisin
There’s more insanity from Tom Cruise?
It’s nothing but crazy that he spews
He claims his job as a leading man
Is like fighting in Afghanistan
It’s well past time we forgot this slouch
Whose best role was jumping on a couch
1008
1008
You never know what you’re gonna get
Though he exercised and ate Wheaties
Tom Hanks has Type 2 Diabetes
Why he got it needs further study
But sugar ain’t his Bosom Buddy
0923
0923
Being green costs a lot of green
Tesla was once known for a coil
Now it’s a car that needs no oil
I saw one in Los Alamos
For that town, it was grandiose
No place for an electric car
Owned by an aging movie star
Getting drunk in a wine-fueled haze
Kind of like that movie Sideways
Is the car about being green
Or do you get it to be seen?
Electric cars are close at hand
But this one is a hundred grand!
0918
0918
She does not dawdle
Kelly is a plus-sized porn model
Who posts smart blogs not silly twaddle
Though she started late
Her acting’s first rate
Just watch her partners shoot their waddle
0910
0910
Pussy cow
There was a man with a dog named spot
Funny thing is, a dog he was not
Sometimes a giraffe
Or maybe a calf
If you saw Cal, you never forgot
0830
0830
She’s scary stupid
I want my Sweetie Pea
To come sit next to me
And watch our AGT
We like Nick and Heidi
And Howard and Howie
But we don’t like Mel B
She has a nice booty
But as dense as a tree
0829
0829
Damn you Marvel Studios!
Speculation is now gone
James Spader will play Ultron
In comics he’s built by Pym
But the movie won’t have him
So there goes my costume plan
I cannot go as Ant-Man
0827
0827
Why is it a handbasket?
What’s the criteria
For war with Syria?
Are chemical attacks
The motivating facts?
Odom’s habit’s well known
Nerds wait for new iPhone
Microsoft needs new head
Neil Armstrong is still dead
As Yosemite burns
Our ill-fated world turns
0826
0826
Remember when they played videos?
Questions raised at the VMAs
Does Taylor Swift deserve the praise?
Did Lady Gaga’s costumes flop?
Is Timberlake new King of Pop?
Who knew N’Sync was still working?
Why the heck was Miley twerking?
0823
0823
Jersey Girl wasn’t that bad
Never known for having priorities straight
Comic book geeks are unreasonably irate
Keeping in mind we dropped the bomb on Japan
The worst thing ever is Affleck as Batman
It’s hard to argue when the heads aren’t level
“He sucked in Gigli. He sucked as Daredevil”
Is it really his fault that those movies failed?
“Yes! Get a cross and make sure his hands are nailed!”
He’s no Brando, but I liked him in “Mallrats”
So, throw down the pitchforks and let go the bats
Your quarrel is as moot as this is bizarre
Peter Dinklage Hula Hooped at a gay bar
0808
0808
Get down make love
I really miss Queen
You know what I mean?
Brian May’s smart licks
Roger Taylor’s sticks
Deacon was steady
Damn, I miss Freddie
0724
0724
Makes me want to gorge
Willie and Kate chose a name
Regal and worthy of fame
The name agrees with most folk
It’s not the butt of a joke
Oh the paths this king will forge!
‘Cause nothing bad rhymes with George
But that’s not true for Georgie
They forgot about orgy!
0722
0722
Didn’t we fight a war to not care?
So, Kate and Willie popped out a boy
Women around the world jump for joy
From Buckingham Palace to Beijing
Such excitement for this future king
But for the moment, he’s just a prince
And all this chatter makes most men wince
0530
0530
Grumpy Cat is so intense
Here’s some news that will make you squeal
Grumpy cat has a movie deal
Will it be a flop or a hit?
Honey Badger don’t give a shit
0529
0529
Hump day Howard
Lisa and Ronnie finally kiss
Ronnie doesn’t think squirting is piss
Too much Mambo will make Lisa sick
You can play piano with your dick
Maria Menounos won’t pour beer
So Kevin puts it in Richard’s rear
The things you learn that you didn’t know
All today on the Howard Stern show
0507
0507
God shave the king
I don’t really give a fuck
But we’ll soon have a King Chuck
Queen Liz is 87
And on her way to heaven
She’s number one by and large
But, she’s putting Charles in charge
He will travel in her place
And be “King” as a test case
Most Britons love QE2
And don’t want to bid adieu
Yet time catches up to all
While Charles waits for his call
0426
0426
Without belief in deities
We’ve all listened to John Lennon
Sing “Imagine there’s no heaven”
I don’t imagine anymore
Opened my mind and closed that door
Don’t spend my time wondering why
I know what happens when we die
If this offends, it’s not meant to
Its just what I know to be true
0409
0409
Josh Whiffs-a-ton
I don’t worry about North Korea
Or if GMOs cause diarrhea
I don’t care that Lohan’s on Letterman
Or when Tom Cruise will be a better man
I don’t know about any of that shit
But when will Josh Hamilton get a hit?
0404
0404
R.I.P. @ebertchicago
Sadly, Roger Ebert has passed
His knowledge of movies was vast
He and Siskel gave us two thumbs
Up for the champs, down for the bums
His favorites included Fargo
Citizen Kane, Ran and Argo
He disapproved of top ten lists
Opinions like his will be missed
He lived life; he didn’t hold back
At the Movies now fades to black
0330
0330
Thanks @wilw
When you observe #TableTopDay
It only matters that you play
The object isn’t win or lose
Or about drinking Mt. Dews
Whether you play Munchkin, Catan,
Dixit, Zombie Dice or San Juan
The basic goal is to have fun
It won’t matter who lost or won