200217
Vent and lament
It’s absolutely evident
The US has no president
They have a truly arrogant
Jizztrumpet who sows discontent
He’s broken every covenant
Emphatically with ill intent
I hate him one million percent
And if you like him go get bent
200214
V for the D
Some cringe when they see VD Day
Cause VD’s a pain in the A
To them VD’s an STD
That feels like burning when they pee
And if you still abbreviate
Some Facebook friends will postulate
That you just want the world to see
You have a V for your wee D
200212
Escaping with games
When it’s this cold, I’d rather hide
Under warm throws and stay inside
But I love games, so once a week
I revel in my outer geek
Into the pub, I jitterbug
And slide into a cozy snug
I have a pint and see my mates
We roll some dice and curse our fates
I do not keep a record sheet
Of all the times I taste defeat
While victories are always fun
I feel like I’ve already won
200210
Hello Mary Lou!
The country’s run by corporate sheep
The Left’s asleep! The Left’s asleep!
On trolley beds do elders weep
While pay is low and rent is steep
On Saturday the dam did break
The Left’s awake! The Left’s awake!
Let old FG and FF quake
It’s Sinn Féin’s turn for Erin’s sake
200207
The homily was gas
The other day, I met a lass
Intoxicating charm and class
Good wine was drunk glass after glass
She beckoned me to tap her ass
An offer that I could not pass
A lovely way to spend a mass
200205
Sinn Féin – Vótáil 1!!!
I will not vote for Fine Gael
An FF vote would be a fail
I have much more than half a brain
That’s why I’m voting for Sinn Féin
200203
Not in Ukraine either
Kansas City Chiefs
Despite what Jizztrumpet thinks
Don’t play in Kansas
200131
The long goodbye
No longer Europe’s friend
You thought it best to end
So long
We wanted you to stay
But you fled anyway
Farewell
You will not see us grieve
When all you tories leave
Auf Wiedersehen
Don’t let the door hit ya
Where the good Lord split ya
Adieu
200129
Clouding my judgement
Is it just wishful thinking?
Or is the darkness shrinking?
The days are getting longer
My will is growing stronger
But cloudy silver lining
Is blocking all the shining!
200127
#DollyPartonChallenge
Did a challenge made by Dolly
Showing I am fun and jolly
The first photo was for LinkedIn
It’s the one I look most pink in
Silly side for good old Facebook
Instagram – my hot and cool look
Hoping that the one for Tinder
Leaves you smoking like a cinder
My best self in four dimensions
Seeking all of your attentions
Hope you don’t feel you’ve been cheated
But this challenge is completed
200124
Eff the Effers
FF and FG
Can Eff themselves eternally
It’s time for SF
And every party from the left
200122
Just one more thing…
When I hit a groove, I work really great
But I don’t begin until it’s too late
I’m doing my best to get going soon
But I find it hard to start before noon
Despite this slight hitch, I still have my pride
So I will push these distractions aside
My pets are downstairs, I’ve locked up the boys
I’ve tidied my space, I’ve muted the noise
I know I’ll do well, I’ll give it my most
I have one more thing this poem to post
200120
Number two for you
Some posters want my number one
But I can’t piss that high
I’ll take a shit and when I’m done
I’ll throw it in their eye
200117
Balls on pen island
I have a pen with balls on it
They flop and bop but they all fit
One ball is red, two more are blue
It has more balls than just these few
Play with the balls, they twist and bend
You’ll tease these balls like your boyfriend
The black balls sag, the others wag
This pen is fun and not a drag
One ball is pink, two more are green
The weirdest pen you’ve ever seen
Though it is strange I’m sure it can
Write a strange rhyme for this strange man
200113
Hidden talents
Yesterday I hid in the sun
It was hot and it sure was fun
Now today I hide in a cloud
It is wet and thunder is loud
And someday I’ll hide in the moon
When it’s safe and that won’t be soon
200110
Ask your doctor if boner juice is right for you
There is a first mate in Balbriggan
Who got his balls caught in the riggin’
Now he cannot blast
Or get to full mast
Unless boner juice he is swiggin’
200108
Made you look
I make a thing that no one sees
It can’t be touched nor can you squeeze
I make this thing three times a week
I know you know of what I speak
This thing is made out of my brain
If I don’t rhyme, I’ll go insane
This thing I make I hope you care
And if you do, I hope you share
200106
Now that’s deep
We are finite and infinite
We live a lifetime in our shell
Our eternity fits in it
But it’s not a bottomless well
200103
7″ wonder of the world
A tourist who visited Agra
Decided to tryout viagra
At the Taj Mahal
He swallowed them all
His balls emptied just like Niagara
200101
What is your 2020 truth?
New year means new beard
It is not brown anymore
It will now be gray
191230
You say, “Stop” but I say, “Go, go, go”
At midnight the bells will be ringing
Of course Auld Lang Syne we’ll be singing
I hope that the new year is bringing
Relief to soothe all of the stinging
That 2019 generated
Goodbye to the things that we hated
Hello to the love we’ve awaited
Here’s wishing we’ll all be elated
191227
She did and did not
There once was a Jedi named Daisy
Who made all the fanboys go crazy
When she used the force
They screamed until hoarse
Misogynist hatred is lazy
191225
The first of many
Frosty morning walk
Friends, presents, eating, and drinks
Kilkenny Christmas
191223
That must have been some doll
I really hope this Festivus
Brings good cheer for the rest of us
I’ll win the feats of strength no doubt
And grievances may get aired out
But there’s no hate around my pole
While Black Pete brings you lumps of coal
There had to be another way
And Festivus became that day
Remember in just two days time
The Christmas bells will start to chime
For peace on earth, goodwill to all
Who bought their son a lovely doll
191220
He drove Ky and Lo
There once was a Driver named Adam
Who liked to speed over macadam
He flew down the line
Doing sixty nine
To get to his favorite madam
191218
Darkness imprisoning me
Not only has today been dark
It’s rained enough to launch an ark
The wet and cold are now allied
I do not wish to go outside
191216
Apologies to Reg
I can’t find sun in Irish wintertime
I know it’s cold, but that’s another deal
Outside’s darkness when I hit snooze on the damn alarm
But these clocks I have, hard to believe their time is real
(Chorus)
Don’t let the sun go down at three
When walking home from town, it’s always dark and I can’t see
So please allow a small beam of that light to shine on me
‘Cause here at wintertime is like the sun going down at three
191211
Thanks Jessica!
Two things you should know about crêpes
Is crêpes cannot be many shapes
‘Cause mostly they are round and flat
And eating them won’t make you fat
While one of those things isn’t true
I still want to eat one or two
And one or two can’t make me fat
So there is the truth and that’s that
191209
I’m getting out of Cali
The last two weeks were number one
Though I was always on the run
And rain and clouds obscured the sun
But seeing friends was really fun
I played some games and even won
Time with my folks – second to none
I did so much – I did a ton
A great two weeks but now it’s done
