190729
730 Jean free days 💔
Two years ago I lost my wife
While others choose this day to weep
The end does not define her life
Her memory each day I keep
Category: Ridiculous Rhymes
190726
190726
Thanks crazyblinddate.com
I remember well that summer night
When we first met from a dating site
Those eleven years have rambled on
Now I’m over here, and she is gone
Her absence is felt in every way
But I’m grateful for that fateful day
Although I still miss my Sweetie Pea
It’s not as dark as it used to be
190722
190722
In that order
Get good wine – must imbibe
Get some spam – unsubscribe
Get bad breath – brush my teeth
Get some wood – find relief
190719
190719
Pain is for losers
When men are in pain
We sometimes complain
When that’s pointed out
We won’t scream or shout
We’ll keep it inside
And then people chide
We’ve bottled it in
So we cannot win
I guess we’ll refrain
From being in pain
190717
190717
Consistently inconsistent
It’s sunny – it’s raining – it’s sunny
This summertime weather is funny
It’s raining – it’s sunny – it’s raining
It’s different, but I’m not complaining
190715
190715
Book your stay
The craic was had this past weekend
I had a visit from a friend
They made new friends, and I did too
And next weekend it could be you
190712
190712
I was swallowing my pain
Will anybody else ever get me?
Or will I be eternally lonely?
‘Cause Sweetie Pea was my one and only
It’s possible I’m too complicated
And loving me might be overrated
But I don’t ever want to be hated
I hope that I can cause an attraction
That generates a joyous reaction
And brings us mutual satisfaction
Until then if I’ve caused pain or sorrow
In Kilkenny or Kilimanjaro
I promise to be better tomorrow
190710
190710
Brownie Joel
It’s one o’clock on a sunny day
Thinking about staying in
There’s a brown dog laying next to me
He wants to go walking again
He says, “Dad, can you please take me walking now?
Would you please put down your LEGOs?
‘Cause I’m good and I’m sweet and I need a nice treat
I need to sniff grass with my nose”
Ruf, ruf, ruf, barky bark
Ruf, ruf, barky bark ba-bark
Gimme a walk, I’m the Brownie Bear
Gimme a walk, please dad
‘Cause I love sniffing grass when it’s sunny out
And it makes me happy and glad”
190708
190708
They were the best days
I keep picking at the scab
Memories I want to stab
Need to clear up this malaise
And remember better days
190705
190705
Tomorrow let’s all meet again
Party weekend at Ryan’s bar
Let’s celebrate Arthur the star
Been serving drinks for fifteen years
Whole lotta bands – whole lotta beers
Music in front – garden in back
No matter where – there’s always craic
Fiddle, guitar, bodhrán and bass
Looking for fun? This is the place!
190701
190701
Will scream for ice cream
I scream
You scream
We all scream…
It’s about fucking time it’s hot enough in
Ireland to eat ice cream!
190628
190628
Fills me with the urge to…
The Jizztrumpet fills me with hate
I get so mad I defecate
I loathe his hair and orange skin
Those lips above his triple chin
His tiny hands and belly size
Compel me to avert my eyes
Though not the last – another gripe
As leaders go he’s not my type
190626
190626
Life of Summer
Dead of Winter for our game night
Though midsummer and no frostbite
Zombies think we’re on the menu
Our survivors search each venue
Hospital and police station
Emptied decks at each location
Not one dude was undead dinner
Met my goal, so I was winner!
190624
190624
9171 7577 0794
First world problems from Niantic
Lack of knowledge had me frantic
World launch failed and then succeeded
So my fun was not impeded
We can play Wizards United
All the nerds will be delighted
190621
190621
Nor Sunday neither
The thing I did, did not get done
The game I played, did not get won
The deal I planned, did not get made
The job I worked, did not get paid
The clothes I washed, did not get clean
The gig I showed, did not get seen
Despite hard work for this soirée
No music will be heard today
190619
190619
I hope summer’s eternal
So far this summer
Has been a bummer
It would be more fun
If we had some sun
They say that next week
Through clouds it will peek
I don’t think it will
But I’m hoping still
190617
190617
I hope you win
I see you there
With your short hair
I hope you win your fight
You must be strong
For so, so long
You battle day and night
Your friends have shown
You’re not alone
They’re always there with you
I know you not
But now you’ve got
Another ally too
190612
190612
I ❤️ 2 💩
A log entry from me to you
I quite enjoy a number two
One’s not enough, and three won’t do
When squatting down up in the loo
A smelly fart might be a clue
Dropping a deuce is overdue
So I flush twice when I am through
Then wash my hands and bid adieu
190610
190610
Pray or prey?
The walking man walks
But where does he go?
The talking man talks
How much does he know?
The winning man wins
But what does he play?
The sinning man sins
For whom does he pray?
190607
190607
It’s possible in my head
I tried to drive the motorway
But clearly I should stay away
I did my best but still had fear
Of flying off this big blue sphere
190605
190605
#Always
When first we met on a crazy blind date
I did not know how lucky I would be
Our meeting was a lovely twist of fate
The perfect friend, you made me so happy
I love you as I never loved before
Since first we met for just a cup of tea
Each night I think about the vows we swore
I love you as I loved you
‘Cause you’re my sweet
‘Cause you’re my Sweetie Pea
190603
190603
Enter Sandman
I’m tired and I want to sleep
I throw my clothes onto the heap
I slide into my nice, soft bed
A pillow cradles my big head
At last an ending to this day
I shut my eyes and drift away
190531
190531
The right of way goes to the biggest guns
Car Wars will be back again
As games go, this one’s a ten
Flamethrowers and plasma guns
Wild weapons, this game has tons
190527
190527
Póg mo thóin
Drive around the Emerald Isle
Cows and sheep mile after mile
Gorgeous views and verdant grass
Don’t like this? Then kiss my ass!
190524
190524
May would not be soon
May is out in June
Who’s the next buffoon?
Will this Tory goon
Sing the same old tune?
190522
190522
I think that would be apropos
I drove all the way from Mayo
With both of my parents in tow
That sure was a long way to go
I think I deserve a banjo
190520
190520
Damn vertigo
I tried my best to climb the reek
I ended short of the steep peak
My disappointment is miles high
At least I took pics of blue sky
190517
190517
When the saints go marching in
There is a long walk
Before a long wake
The priest gives a talk
Before tea and cake
The friends laugh and cry
And all shed a tear
With glasses raised high
They all give a cheer
190515
190515
We’ll get some bread at Eurospar
To take my parents really far
I hired us a motorcar
It’s Japanese, not a Jaguar
A ride like that would be bizarre
We’ll go from here to Castlebar
Might even stop in Mullingar
If they return without a scar
They’ll think of me as a rock star
190513
190513
Then get eaten by a dingo
Monday night is time for BINGO!
Little ladies love their lingo
Lucky charm’s a pink flamingo
When they win, you’ll hear them sing-o
190508
190508
It’s the tower power hour!
Want to make your foes cower?
Lock yourself in a tower
Exercise for an hour
Wash yourself in the shower
Shedding skin – scrub and scour
Smelling sweet like a flower
Now you have all the power!