Category: Ridiculous Rhymes

190508

190508
It’s the tower power hour!

Want to make your foes cower?
Lock yourself in a tower
Exercise for an hour
Wash yourself in the shower
Shedding skin – scrub and scour
Smelling sweet like a flower
Now you have all the power!

190506

190506
Fish and trips

My tragedy was Brownie’s wish
Because I dropped my chips and fish
I walked him back to where they spilled
And then he ate till he was filled
Tonight I mourn my takeaway
To Brownie, it’s “the bestest day!”

190429

190429
That’s all you got for GoT

Want to talk of Winterfell
Want to cry and want to yell
But I do not want to spoil
That might get your blood to boil
Four more days is all you got
Friday I reveal the plot

190424

190424
Slow down, you move too fast

When I think I’m doing something
I’m just busy doing nothing
When I think I’m keeping busy
I’m just making myself dizzy
When I think I’m near perfection
I’m just in the wrong direction
Never-ending sweat exposes
I should stop and smell the roses

190419

190419
Immaculate perception

I cleaned the house because it’s Spring
I scrubbed the floors and everything
I dusted here, I dusted there
I found a ton of Brownie hair
I washed the dishes in the sink
I picked up after little Linc
I swept so hard my fingers bled
And now it’s time to go to bed

190327

190327
Mope brings external

I will need some hocus-pocus
To regain external focus
It should clearly be worth nothing
Through each day I’m mostly floating
Walk the dog, and feed the kitty
Exercise to keep me pretty
Nothing else seems to be working
Thankfully sunshine is lurking

190318

190318
Oíche mhaith

If you’re an Ulster dreamer
You’ll always dream of Eimear
Your mind will be a reelin’
If ever you meet Caoilfhoinn
You better have inertia
To try to woo a Saoirse
If you can say it rightly
You’ll get to see her nightly

190313

190313
Like a silk sheet

At the Paddy’s day parade
You will surely find Máiréad
Those that have both brains and brawn
Fascinate the fair Siobhán
To impress an Irish lass
Say their name as smooth as glass

190311

190311
Get the point?

Don’t mess with a woman named Niamh
They always keep knives up their sleeve
Don’t mess with a fella named Piaras
They carry sharp objects that pierce
Don’t mess with a woman named Medb
They might whack your head with a stave
Don’t mess with a fella named Aodh
They have been known to skin and flay
Don’t mess with the folks of the harp
They always have things that are sharp

190306

190306
Owen is owin’ Eoghan

This is the legend of Eoghan
Others are comin’ and goin’
He has a side he ain’t showin’
Vast is the knowledge he’s knowin’
Dark is the shade he is throwin’
Loud is the horn he is blowin’
He doesn’t do his own crowin’
His tale is growin’ and growin’

190304

190304
Rhymes with skin trade

My leg hurt, and I needed shin-aid
I made an appointment with Sinéad
She is a pro at giving first aid
Her regimen helped make the pain fade

190225

190225
And then I wake up

“Mmm hmm! Uh huh! Yeah, pull my hair!”
“Like that! Oh yeah! I’m almost there!”
“That feels so good! Don’t stop! Go! go!”
“Right there! Oh god! I’m gonna blow!”
Into the night, their bodies sweat
At last, she asks, “Are you done yet?!”

190220

190220
Meeples > Top Hats

Someone blended “my” and “people”
And that portmanteau was “meeple”
Gamers love them – wood or plastic
Some are simple – some fantastic
Fighters, wizards, thieves and clerics
Dinos, pirates, and oil derricks
You can choose your favorite symbol
Better than a boot or thimble

190218

190218
Until the end of time

How many times can your heart break?
How many times can your heart ache?
So many times you’ll mourn and grieve
So many times you won’t believe
How many times did your heart build?
How many times was your heart filled?
That many times you’ll wonder why
That many times and more you’ll cry

190213

190213
I’m mine 4 ever

The day of love is here again
I love myself like I’m a ten
I gave myself my own “Be Mine”
‘Cause I’m my special Valentine

190208

190208
Reach out touch someone

Water leaking from my eye
Why am I about to cry?
Every piece of news is sad
Nothing seems to make me glad
Then my friend decides to call
And their voice undoes it all
I forget when I’m alone
No one’s far thanks to the phone

190130

190130
Ignoble warming

When it gets to -1
Go outside for icy fun
When it gets to -2
Ears and nose start turning blue
When it gets to -3
Snot freezes on my goatee
When it gets to -4
Milk and bread brawls at the store
When it gets to -5
That’s when snowmen come alive
When it gets to -6
Beat them back with burning sticks
-7, -8
Cold War isn’t going great
When it gets to -9
Frosty’s friends are looking fine
When it gets to -10
Build snow women for snowmen
Only way to win this war
Go inside and shut the door

190123

190123
2+2=4

Deirdre and Kieran were two, family-wise
But last Saturday they doubled in size
Twins Cian Patrick and Cillian James
Two catchy, brilliant, and powerful names
We are excited for all the Gibbons
The four are now flush with first place ribbons

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