Category: Limerick

160509

160509
Tormund says he is small below

There was a know nothing named Snow
Whose girlfriend shot him with a bow
His brothers did stab
Left him on a slab
At picking friends he’s just so-so

160504

160504
May the 4th be with you

There once was a man named Darth Vader
Who built a golden robot traitor
A long time ago
He made 3PO
Who turned his back on his creator

160323

160323
Their neighbors want to move to Venice

There once was a woman from Ennis
Who married a farmer named Dennis
They raised lambs and sows
Goats, chickens and cows
The smell was a real fucking menace

160215

160215
I’d cross the Shannon for Shannon

There once was a lass from ol’ Limerick
She was ginger so sure she’s a mick
I had in my head
To take her to bed
But I knew that I would finish quick

150805

150805
This is only a test

There once was an old TV station
That broadcast all over the nation
The staff was let go
Now they have no dough
All thanks to a big corporation

150708

150708
The dunce of confederates

There once was a Jindal named Bobby
Who wanted the President’s jobby
He opened his mouth
‘Bout loving the south
And rebel flag waving’s his hobby

150515

150515
Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true

There once was a man with a guitar
Who pressed his own kale at the juice bar
He scrubbed in his tub
Worked out at the club
And dreamed of becoming a rock star

150508

150508
Grandma kicks ass

There once was a dame named Luella
She was as brave as any fella
When Japan attacked
She made it her pact
That Tojo would go straight to Hell-a

141207

141207
It’s beginning to look a lot like Santa Maria

There is a cute house on East Cook Street
There ain’t no sugar, but it looks sweet
A buck, doe and fawn
Decorate the lawn
And lights on the roof that look real neat

141019

141019
Half elf half evil

There once was a magus named Seltyiel
Who combined magic with cold hard steel
While Lem would beguile
Bad guys for a while
He preferred to make the henchmen squeal

141017

141017
It’s full of sucks

Stinky’s is where people used to go
The burgers were pretty good, you know?
Got closed by Starbucks
And that really sucks
So they ain’t goin’ there any mo’

1213

1213
I’m attacking the darkness

There once was a wizard named Ezren
Who never said “god bless” or “amen”
When magic was found
He would turn around
And explore each location again

1127

1127
Where was the horse?!?

There once was a Trojan named Tommy
Who had a weird thing for his mommy
They played hide and seek
At least twice a week
And what they hid was his salami

1125

1125
Beat the brain $urgeons

The once was a boy from U$C
Who wasn’t as bright as you or me
But son of a bitch
His parents were rich
So he still got a master’s degree

1118

1118
He smoked all he could a Ford

There once was a man from Toronto
Who ruled the town as their head honcho
When stripped of power
He did not cower
He smoked crack cocaine muy pronto

1106

1106
This is idle prattle

There once was a man from Seattle
Who knew something but didn’t tattle
His neighbor next door
Was wild for wild boar
And loved to get cozy with cattle

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