Category: Limerick

1002

1002
He was a two bagger

There once was a man from Washington
Who never voted to get things done
His skin was so tan
Out of a spray can
He was an orange son of a gun

0924

0924
Do they serve anything else?

There once was a man from Miami
Who frantically cleaned with a chamois
When he was quite spent
To Denny’s he went
And ordered Moons Over My Hammy

0918

0918
She does not dawdle

Kelly is a plus-sized porn model
Who posts smart blogs not silly twaddle
Though she started late
Her acting’s first rate
Just watch her partners shoot their waddle

0904

0904
Sorry Charlie

There once was a man from Chicago
Who canned tuna in Pago Pago
When a thoroughbred
Kicked him in the head
He thought he was Dr. Zhivago

0831

0831
Only in Cali

There once was a man from the valley
Who had a girlfriend known as Sally
Though he wasn’t hot
She liked him a lot
He knew how to dilly her dally

0816

0816
Eff Scott Key

There once was a man from Baltimore
Who went out one night looking to score
He saw quite a fight
By dawn’s early light
Better action than he could hope for

0810

0810
You’ll never whack alone

There once was a man from Liverpool
Who was real handy with his large tool
In his tiny shack
He gave a nice whack
To any lass who wasn’t a fool

0726

0726
Is that an oil derrick…

There once was a man from Bakersfield
Who had a secret that he concealed
Within his tight pants
That ripped when he danced
And all were shocked by what was revealed

0711

0711
She loved the slurpees

There was a woman who drank slurpees
She worked it off by doing burpees
For more exercise
She did tons of guys
So she caught a case of the herpes

0706

0706
Big isn’t always better

There once was a man from Germany
Who had a dick that hung to his knee
In lederhosen
The tip got frozen
And flew off when he tried to go pee

0601

0601
Deck building FTW

There once was a game called Dominion
It’s pretty good in my opinion
You play and buy cards
Like moats or courtyards
And win with the help of a minion

0524

0524
Stones of fate

There is a game known as Stones of Fate
You can win tarot cards from your mate
By placing a stone
In a power zone
That looks like a sideways figure eight

0509

0509
Fellas love to be limericked

There once was a fellow from Frisco
Who really got down at the disco
He wanted a treat
So he got some meat
And slathered that meat up with Crisco

0425

0425
They come with guarantees

There once was a toy called Sea-Monkeys
They were the kings of the seven seas
Though only brine shrimp
More fish food than chimp
Watching them swim would put you at ease

0418

0418
Who will pay this debt?

In Casterly Rock was born a man
His foulest deed was when he shoved Bran
Caught by Bolton’s men
He helped save Brienne
And for that we should give him a hand

0413

0413
Hamilton gets off the snide

There once was a man from Anaheim
Who watched the Angels all of the time
He thought they were done
But instead they won
So now begins the season long climb

0328

0328
His breath was shitty

There was a guy from New York City
He wasn’t smart, sexy, or witty
But ain’t this a bitch
He was filthy rich
And always had girls that were pretty

0314

0314
Least interesting man in the world

There is a man from Argentina
Who rules in the papal arena
He reads from Jonah
And sips Corona
Known as la cerveza mas fina

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