160509
Tormund says he is small below
There was a know nothing named Snow
Whose girlfriend shot him with a bow
His brothers did stab
Left him on a slab
At picking friends he’s just so-so
Category: Limerick
160504
160504
May the 4th be with you
There once was a man named Darth Vader
Who built a golden robot traitor
A long time ago
He made 3PO
Who turned his back on his creator
160323
160323
Their neighbors want to move to Venice
There once was a woman from Ennis
Who married a farmer named Dennis
They raised lambs and sows
Goats, chickens and cows
The smell was a real fucking menace
160219
160219
The city animal is a pussy
There was a farmer from Kilkenny
The women he bedded were many
When there came a need
To scatter his seed
He realized he didn’t have any
160217
160217
All aboard!
We passed through Limerick on vacation
And saw a man at the train station
His pants on the ground
A crowd gathered ’round
And witnessed his wild masturbation
160215
160215
I’d cross the Shannon for Shannon
There once was a lass from ol’ Limerick
She was ginger so sure she’s a mick
I had in my head
To take her to bed
But I knew that I would finish quick
151102
151102
Happy birthday dad!!!
There once was a Paddy from Mayo
Who moved to the US of A oh
He married a wife
And later in life
Three boys made his hair go all gray-o
150826
150826
Go back to Univision
There is a reporter named Jorge
He’s awesome and he deserves more pay
He interviewed Trump
And proved Don’s a chump
Today should be Ramos adore day
150805
150805
This is only a test
There once was an old TV station
That broadcast all over the nation
The staff was let go
Now they have no dough
All thanks to a big corporation
150708
150708
The dunce of confederates
There once was a Jindal named Bobby
Who wanted the President’s jobby
He opened his mouth
‘Bout loving the south
And rebel flag waving’s his hobby
150515
150515
Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true
There once was a man with a guitar
Who pressed his own kale at the juice bar
He scrubbed in his tub
Worked out at the club
And dreamed of becoming a rock star
150508
150508
Grandma kicks ass
There once was a dame named Luella
She was as brave as any fella
When Japan attacked
She made it her pact
That Tojo would go straight to Hell-a
150422
150422
Wish you were here
The third planet from the Sun is Earth
From Paris to Pismo Beach to Perth
April Twenty Two
Is a day for you
To consider the world’s future worth
141207
141207
It’s beginning to look a lot like Santa Maria
There is a cute house on East Cook Street
There ain’t no sugar, but it looks sweet
A buck, doe and fawn
Decorate the lawn
And lights on the roof that look real neat
141121
141121
Keep the bell blue!
There once was a clutch of $c girls
They looked so pretty, their hair in curls
They earned their degrees
While down on their knees
And they wore necklaces made of pearls
141119
141119
His best friend is a horse
There once was a Trojan named Tommy
Those who knew him thought he was balmy
He played with a sword
Hygiene he ignored
And he lived at home with his mommy
141025
141025
Thanks Leisure Time Games
A Halloween gameday at the mall
So many games, I can’t play them all
Doomtown, Pathfinder
Munchkin Loot Letter
Waterdeep, and some I can’t recall
141019
141019
Half elf half evil
There once was a magus named Seltyiel
Who combined magic with cold hard steel
While Lem would beguile
Bad guys for a while
He preferred to make the henchmen squeal
141017
141017
It’s full of sucks
Stinky’s is where people used to go
The burgers were pretty good, you know?
Got closed by Starbucks
And that really sucks
So they ain’t goin’ there any mo’
140819
140819
Also a fox!
We saw a cougar at Lake Quinault
On the north shore road without asphalt
We viewed from afar
Inside our safe car
We’ll store that in out memory vault
140717
140717
Holy stupid limerick
There once was a hero named Batman
His enemy Penguin’s a fat man
The rotund bad guy
Tried stealing a pie
But the Dark Knight prevented that plan
140513
140513
STFU Donald!
There once was a racist named Sterling
The rumors had always been swirling
V got an assist
When Magic was dissed
And that got the media whirling
140421
140421
Don’t mock the imp at your own wedding
There once was a boy in King’s Landing
Whose wife was better at glad handing
On their wedding day
There was some foul play
Which most viewers thought was outstanding
140321
140321
I hate haters
There once was a man from Westboro
His dislike of gays was most thorough
By saying God hates
He opened debates
And gays made him look like a burro
140225
140225
Who you gonna call?
There was a Ghostbuster named Egon
Who knew how to contain a hell spawn
With particle beams
You don’t cross the streams
But he did, and now he has passed on
140123
140123
Hold tight
There once was a singer named Bieber
Who worked teen girls into a fever
But then he got caught
Fast driving and pot
In jail he will be a receiver
1213
1213
I’m attacking the darkness
There once was a wizard named Ezren
Who never said “god bless” or “amen”
When magic was found
He would turn around
And explore each location again
1127
1127
Where was the horse?!?
There once was a Trojan named Tommy
Who had a weird thing for his mommy
They played hide and seek
At least twice a week
And what they hid was his salami
1125
1125
Beat the brain $urgeons
The once was a boy from U$C
Who wasn’t as bright as you or me
But son of a bitch
His parents were rich
So he still got a master’s degree
1118
1118
He smoked all he could a Ford
There once was a man from Toronto
Who ruled the town as their head honcho
When stripped of power
He did not cower
He smoked crack cocaine muy pronto
1106
1106
This is idle prattle
There once was a man from Seattle
Who knew something but didn’t tattle
His neighbor next door
Was wild for wild boar
And loved to get cozy with cattle