221118
Come on you mighty Bruins!
The trojans are our biggest rival
To beat them would mean Chip’s survival
If we keep the bell
That sure would be swell
And might start the program’s revival
Category: Limerick
221028
221028
A callous phallus
The old man next door is a meanie
A fascist just like Mussolini
He’s no treats just tricks
This ghoul has no fix
He suffers from small hollow weenie
221021
221021
The asterisk PM
There once was a PM named Lizzie
Whose policies made people dizzy
She fucked up the pound
And got people down
Then quit in a bit of a tizzy
221014
221014
He plundered her booty
There once was a pirate named Aodhán
Who had a real knack for pursuadin’
A fine Irish lass
To show him her ass
And then he’d commence with invadin’
220923
220923
If the campervan’s a rockin’…
In autumn it can get quite chilly
And camping might seem pretty silly
To keep warm at night
We snuggle real tight
And play hide and seek with my willy
220819
220819
She wasn’t that choosy
There once was a woman named Susie
Who everyone called the town floozy
Gross men by the score
Would party and more
Right there in her filthy jacuzzi
220805
220805
100% chance of moisture
There was a young lass named Delaney
Who liked her boys rugged and brainy
When students with pecks
Would read books and flex
She’d get wet though it wasn’t rainy
220722
220722
Good to the last drop
A pretty lass went to São Paulo
Her faithful boyfriend he did follow
He rubbed tired feet
And lowered the seat
‘Cause he found a girl that would swallow
220715
220715
At least he didn’t stab it
A nasty young man from Stab City
Would do things that weren’t very pretty
He once traveled east
And paid off a priest
To lick a Kilkenny nun’s kitty
220708
220708
Them’s the breaks
A failed PM tories call Boris
Is featured in Roget’s Thesaurus
Synonymously
Five entries has he
Dick, asshole, cock, twat, and clitoris
220701
220701
His mitre was quite ostentatious
A bishop who folks called Ignatius
Would drink beer and get quite pugnacious
He’d punch a few nuns
Then shoot off some guns
His sermons were lewd and salacious
220603
220603
Or not so secretly
There once was a man who was creepy
He’d often pretend to be sleepy
His snoring was fake
He’d lay there awake
And secretly rub on his pee pee
220527
220527
Me encanta tu plátano
There once was a man from Salinas
Who only went out with latinas
He loved snappy sass
Their apple-shaped ass
And they preferred his curvy penis
220520
220520
Fruit Salad
A swimmer who lived in Fontana
Got undressed inside a cabana
A woman walked in
And started to grin
When she saw his peach and banana
220506
220506
Johnny Deppshit
I woke to the song of a birdy
And there next to me was a turdy
Well that isn’t right
What happened last night?
I must have slept with Amber Heard-y!
220429
220429
Click click
There once was a ginger named Rusty
Who had affairs torrid and lusty
He often spilled seed
But he did not breed
He shot blanks with balls that were dusty
220422
220422
His willy got woolly
There once was a wild Irish rover
Who tended to sheep as a drover
One night on the piss
A ewe gave a kiss
Then each night he got drunk all over
220415
220415
The death of Brian
There once was a fella named Brian
Nailed next to a fella who’s dyin’
The young fella said
Though he’d soon be dead
If you don’t see bright you’re not tryin’
220401
220401
Stand up and be counted
This weekend I fill out the census
I make sure that I’m conscientious
I count every cat
Dog, spider and rat
In order to reach a consensus
220325
220325
West Side Limerick
There once was a Jet known as Tony
Who kept gangster Riff as a crony
He then took a twirl
With a PR girl
But did not end in matrimony
220318
220318
Four-way hentai
There was a kaiju from Manila
Who thought his sex life too vanilla
He paid the madame
For wham-bang-and-bam
With Mothra, Rodan and Godzilla
220311
220311
Fill ‘er up fantasies
A greedy and vile petrol station
Would gouge due to war and inflation
The owner was caught
While sailing his yacht
The swift punishment was castration
220304
220304
Chilly Willie’s willy
There once was a skier named Willie
Who never was warm, but was chilly
The story was told
He always was cold
And ended up with shrinking willy
220218
220218
So don’t let her get near your penis
There once was a dental hygienist
Who had a hot body like Venus
But she had a smell
The ninth ring of hell
Her own holes were far from the cleanest
220211
220211
She had an amazing opening
A woman who lived in Hoboken
Would argue ’cause she was outspoken
A champ at debate
Her oral was great
Then rebut that she needed pokin’
220204
220204
Every hen needs a cock
I met a young hottie at Ryan’s
Her friends were all sevens to nines
But she was a ten
A bride on her hen
Our weekend was late nights and lie ins
220107
220107
I don’t think she meant tobacco
The things that I do on the shitter…
Like scrolling through nonsense on Twitter
A raging debate
That caused so much hate?
A lass said she’s always a spitter
211229
211229
Boom! Bang! Whap! Doink!
There once was a head coach named Madden
His passing caused many to sadden
‘Cause year after year
The viewers would hear
His “Boom!” and then our hearts would gladden
211217
211217
He kept his black heart in a freezer
There once was a nasty old geezer
A Scrooge by the name Ebenezer
He acted that way
Since it took all day
To find his small dick with a tweezer
211203
211203
Oh my gourd!
A couple named Pumpkin and Peter
Were cold so they sat by the heater
Pete wanted a bite
But try as he might
She was so hard, he couldn’t eat her
211126
211126
Kate is in Clint’s class
There once was a Hawkeye named Barton
Who found a sidekick he could smarten
When Clint first met Thor
Cap, Tony and more
Kate Bishop was in kindergarten