191209
I’m getting out of Cali
The last two weeks were number one
Though I was always on the run
And rain and clouds obscured the sun
But seeing friends was really fun
I played some games and even won
Time with my folks – second to none
I did so much – I did a ton
A great two weeks but now it’s done
191206
I want to see everyone!
It is way too full
But I will cram some more in
That is what she said
191204
What the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks?!?
In California, the weather is nice
So they play hockey inside and on ice
On the Emerald Isle, you can freeze your ass
So they play hockey outside and on grass
191202
Sean-Con 2019
They say you can’t go home again
But I went back and met a friend
A second friend! A third! A fourth!
So many friends I have up north
We played some games and ate good food
Which put me in a happy mood
I had some wine they drank some beer
Can’t wait to do again next year
191129
Black like my soul
It’s time to turn the ledgers black
Just buy that bullshit on the rack
Spend money at your favorite store
Shop till it hurts, then shop some more
191125
Sorry about the mess
The shower is the place to be
If you are nude and need to pee
Another thing that you can do
Is wash your hair while making poo
You probably think that I am sick
To go and do this dirty trick
I’m not a freak, I do declare
It’s why there is a drain in there
191122
Let’s retain the victory bell-y
In Westwood a Bruin named Kelley
Has rushing skills that make you jelly
When he gets the ball
It will show to all
That u$c trojans are smelly
191120
Blue >>> Cardinal
The victory bell
Has been blue since last year’s win
Let’s keep it that way
191118
I love UCLA
I hate $c, I really do
I hate $c, they smell like poo
I hate $c, they light my fuse
I hate $c, I hope they lose
191115
What were they like before?!?
There was an old fishwife named Molly
Who helped a blue genie dodge folly
When given a wish
“I want these damn fish
To smell like my pussy by golly!”
191113
It also came early
I heard there was some snow nearby
At least one flake fell from the sky
I wipe some moisture from my eye
“It’s time for fruitcake and mince pie!
The tree and lights are standing by!
I’ll get mom shoes and dad a tie!
Let’s take some pix with that fat guy!
IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME!” – my battle cry
191111
A cake made out of babies
Playful nicknames is a duty
How ’bout babycakes or cutie?
Is he charming? Is he funny?
Maybe call him honey bunny
Does she shine with every fiber?
Sweetie pea might best describe her
If their presence makes you sizzle
They might be your swizzle pizzle
If you’ve found the perfect crony
Be sincere and don’t be phony
It’s alright if it is corny
Or a name that make them horny
If they are your dearest dandle
Find for them a heartfelt handle
If it’s thoughtful and not solemn
It won’t matter what you call ’em
191108
Kept her busy
This lass took her lad, and she showed him
To my doctor friend, and I quote him
“This guy in Tralee
Has not two but three!
That’s why he’s known as Frankenscrotum”
191106
Miss Jean
Every day there’s pain and sorrow
It will still be there tomorrow
Though I know her love and laughter
Will be there forever after
191104
Insomnia is my biggest vice
I forgot to go to bed
Bees are buzzing in my head
Skipping sleep sure is not wise
I’ll just sit and close my eyeszzzzzzzzzz…
191101
This is how Frankenstein started
Outside it rains as hard as fuck
Inside the house all day I’m stuck
My cabin fever runs amok
Dreary November sure does suck
191030
Scariest TV family
They sling a lot of mucky
They’re awful and they’re sucky
They’re altogether yucky
Jizztrumpet family
Dad’s skin could use some bleaching
His kids are good at leaching
I’m hoping for impeaching
Jizztrumpet family
Tweet
Tweet
Retweet
Pelosi is a calling
The house of cards is falling
I hope to see them bawling
Jizztrumpet family
191028
Money lesson in Essen
Nice trip to Essen
I still bought a lot of games
But less than last year
191025
Apologies to Coolio
As I walk through the packed aisles and I look to my right
I see a game that I want and I devise to squeeze in tight
‘Coz I’ve been planning and reading so long, that
I got to buy this game before it is gone
You see Rahdo told me that this one is phenomenal
Because negative interaction is nominal
Then my wallet does the talkin’, and I start walkin’
Until Boydell’s new game is blockin’
I really love his games, so I buy it, dude
He better sign the box or that would be quite rude, fool
I’m the board game geek that goes around with a Pope hat
So all the folks in the math trade hall know where I’m at
Though I’ve only been there twice
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
Tokens, cards, minis and dice
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
Kickstarter’s my only vice
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
Buying games at twice the price
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
191023
I hope to play at least 16 games in Essen
I play two games in the morning
I play two games at night
I play two games in the afternoon
It makes me feel alright
I play two games when I’m at home
And two at a game store
I play two games before I play two games
And then I play two more
191021
Poitín > pot of gold
The spooky day will be here soon
I have been hyped since half past June
If you don’t like please don’t impugn
I like black cats, but I’m no loon
And over in this land of green
The treats are good, the tricks aren’t mean
And if you’re nice you’ll get poitín
That’s why I treasure Halloween
191018
It’s beyond me…
They have a blow out
They just want to use the phone
But rose tints their world
191016
…pation!
There once was a Furter named Frank-N
Whose Rocky was built for his wankin’
But Janet designed
To blow Rocky’s mind
With touchin’ and thrillin’ and thankin’
191014
I see you shiver with antici…
Now’s the time we talk of Rocky
Brad Majors was kind of cocky
Janet Weiss did not like getting
Into scenes that caused seat wetting
Dr. Frank liked looking pretty
Eddie sang a little ditty
Then he got a damn good whacking
Said the man whose neck was lacking
Dr. Scott rode in a buggy
Riff Raff was a balding druggie
And his spying sis Magenta
With Columbia would yenta
Lastly there was Frank’s creation
Who was built for fornication
More than just a midnight movie
Rocky Horror Show is groovy
191011
He’s plain batty
There once was a villain named Joker
Who was bad and not mediocre
He made people smile
Then killed them with style
While wearing a vest that was ochre
191007
Monica Zelensky
The bravest use of a whistle
Might see this asshole’s dismissal
Just like Bill Clinton years ago
The Jizztrumpet falls from a blow
191004
Sacred sausage
There was a nun named Sister Egan
Who loved her veg ’cause she was vegan
She also liked wheat
But never touched meat
Unless it came from Father Keegan
191002
Begone ye demon doggie!!!
I walk into an unlit room
My heart races – it fills with gloom
The floorboard squeaks – I catch my breath
The air is filled with rotting death
What horror lurks? What demon near?
I reach my hand trembling with fear
And switch the light to see what’s there
It’s just a farting Brownie Bear
190930
Linc made a big stink
It’s raining
It’s pouring
And Brownie is snoring
Linc shit my bed
I’ll kill him dead
And bury him in the morning
