230903

230903
Happy not a ghost day!

It’s time to rhyme your birthday post
I think you’ll like this one the most
The reason I can make this boast
Is ’cause I am not yet a ghost
Since you are I are both still here
I wish you happiness and cheer
So have a drink of wine or beer
And I’ll be back this time next year

221220

221220
O kleiner Linc

O little Linc, o little Linc
Don’t cough another hair ball
O little Linc, o little Linc
Don’t cough another hair ball
You eat so much at breakfast time
But barf it before dinner time
O little Linc, o little Linc
Don’t cough another hair ball

221213

221213
I hate this cold craze

It’s been cold for days and days
So I sit beside a blaze
Hope this weather’s just a phase
Need the temperature to raise

221202

221202
I hung balls on my joint

At this time of year
Don’t mix up your cannabis
With your Christmas tree

221104

221104
In 3D

It’s time to get weird
Watching the life story of
Alfred Yankovic

220930

220930
Bats fly when you’re having fun

At midnight tonight
My birthday month is over
Then it’s spooky time!

220817

220817
I hope I didn’t make you yawn

Alarm goes off at dawn – I yawn
I put the kettle on – I yawn
My laptop won’t logon – I yawn
I feel a bit withdrawn – I yawn
Lunch is a warm jambon – I yawn
It seems that summer’s gone – I yawn
This poem is now drawn – I yawn
Here is the denouement – I yawn

220729

220729
The long and winding road

I thought it would last forever
But then came the worst day ever
That happened five years ago now
And I’ve made it this far somehow
Since life’s a trip and not a race
I took my stuff to a new place
And I brought Linc and Brownie too
As time has passed, I’m not so blue
I’m sometimes red and sometimes green
The colors change, know what I mean?
There are more ups and fewer downs
I’m mostly better than this sounds
But days like this can hurt the most
And good humor becomes morose
I still think that love was cheated
My forever’s not completed

220713

220713
M-O-O-N spells super

The moon is full, and so am I
The moon is round like apple pie
The moon tonight is extra bright
It guides us with it’s lunar light
It’s super ’cause it’s fairly near
The moon does this three times a year
The moon is shining in the sky
The moon is high, and so am I

220706

220706
It’s All-Ireland time

It’s time to plan our match watching bash
It’s time to see the clash of the ash
It’s time to hang the amber and black
It’s time for cats to get Liam back

220617

220617
She has a very tight calendar

Mother’s day is March or May
Depending where you are
Then in June it’s Father’s day
Now isn’t that bizarre?
Calendars have men second
It’s usually reversed
It’s about time I reckon
That moms get to come first

220613

220613
Cardboard conundrum

Solving puzzles can be risky
When you’re drinking wine or whiskey
The small pieces will stop fitting
And in time you’ll end up quitting
Cardboard corners will start bending
And you’ll never see the ending
If it’s cab sav that you guzzle
Do not start a jigsaw puzzle

220530

220530
Got a ticket to my destination

My visit was fun
But now it is done
I had a great time
But not a long time
I’ll be back again
But I don’t know when

220406

220406
Time capsule thoughts

If you can read this, in 100 years
Of course I felt pain and spilled many tears
But I also loved, I laughed and I played
I’ll never forget the life that I made
In 100 years, I hope that you’ll be
Surrounded by friends and happy like me

220330

220330
Always on – never off

No rest for the wicked
That’s true for this dickhead
Since I am my own boss
I do not gather moss
While some have night-time fun
My work is never done

220209

220209
Hang the TP

It’s time to change the toilet roll
And time to take a little poll
So, do you hang it from the front?
Or do you hang it like a cunt?

220202

220202
I got you babe

It’s February
Day two of the shortest month
It’ll be March soon!

211129

211129
I even checked my butthole

I have a thing I cannot find
I think I’ve gone and lost my mind
There was a time I had it here
But it’s been gone at least a year
I’ve checked the closets and the drawers
I’ve checked the ceilings and the floors
My mind is not inside my head
Nor is it hiding ‘neath the bed
I’ve looked outside and under there
I just made you say underwear
I’ve searched around the potted plants
And in the pockets of my pants
My Irish friends just laughed I swear
‘Cause pants to them mean underwear
I really hope it’s just misplaced
A mind’s an awful thing to waste
But if it’s gone, I will be fine
As long as one thing’s always mine
I must keep it at any cost
My sense of humor can’t be lost

211124

211124
A yank’s thanks

I’m often asked, since I’m away
How do I spend Thanksgiving Day?
I do not have a big turkey
No stuffing, yams nor cranberry
I do not have my family here
No football games to watch and cheer
I kind of think, most displaced yanks
Just look around and give their thanks
That’s not to say I do not miss
A feast worthy of a chef’s kiss
Or seeing mom or Tom or dad
Of course those things do make me sad
But this is where my feet did roam
I’m in my new forever home
Although it’s far from you to me
I’m just right where I want to be

211122

211122
It came home!

The Trojans put up 33
The Bruins dropped a 62
Another year for Chip Kelly
The bell is back, it’s gold and blue

211110

211110
Meow? Me ow!

“Meow, meow!” Linc yells at me
He interrupts my morning tea
“Meow, meow!” He cries for lunch
I give him something he can munch
“Meow, meow!” It’s dinner time
An empty bowl my heinous crime
“Meow, meow!” It’s time for bed
This feckin’ cat is in my head
“Meow, meow!” His constant cry
He screams at me until I die…

210913

210913
Curable curse

The Mayo lads have lost again
Some say it is a curse
The crime committed by those men?
Not stopping for a hearse
In ’51 the jinx was cast
And only one remains
The rest are gone, he is the last
To rid Mayo of pains
But Dr. Mick is not to blame
For chances that were missed
Next year they’ll need to work on aim
And then Sam will be kissed

210906

210906
Wish you were here

It’s time to celebrate your birth
A trip around the sun from Earth
It’s time for posts from friends and kin
And getting drunk with bathtub gin
I hope you get to raise some hell
And barring that, I hope it’s swell
So lift your glass and give a cheer
You’ve made it through another year!

210903

210903
Mayo for Sam!

The folks in Mayo have the reek
Some people climb it every week
They pray to god and kill a lamb
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

Sligo and Leitrim both were beat
The tribesmen soon met their defeat
They told those Dublin lads to scram
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

In Westport there is red and green
The likes of which are rarely seen
Though Galway might not give a damn
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

It’s been a long time since they’ve won
The last time – 1951
They’ll prove the curse was just a sham
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

210628

210628
Late night – late light

Not to worry yet
The days are getting shorter
But it’s light at 10

210623

210623
Nap lap trap

Linc nestles into my lap
Just so he can take a nap
As the hours fly on by
I might be stuck here till July

210526

210526
Even my darkest night

It’s nice when a friend reaches out
No matter what it is about
A message, a card or a call
No matter how big or how small
Each time that it happens I grin
No matter how long it has been
They took the time to call or send
It matters that they are my friend

210507

210507
At the Y I’ll dine

It’s almost nine
I’m out of wine
These guys are mine
I’m feeling fine

210208

210208
It’s 8:01

There’s one thing that I really hate
It’s when something is really late
I will admit my nasty trait
Does not one bit make me look great
When not on time, I get irate
My mouth will froth, my hips gyrate
It puts me in a wretched state
So mad that I expectorate
I’ll get all tense and flatulate
And through the roof goes my heart rate
Where is my food? I cannot wait!
They said that they’d be here by eight!

201116

201116
Burnt Bingo

Jumped by fire elemental
And their treatment wasn’t gentle
Hours later, clothes still smolder
Makes me yearn for a beholder

201019

201019
C u next time

If we want to stay alive
It’s six more weeks of level five
But we know that selfish pricks
Will make us go to level six
All because they would not wear
A mask to shield their viral air
Level six is dig your grave
Thanks to the cunts that won’t behave

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