140615
He’s my happy pappy
To the best dad in town
Who never lets us down
Your barbecues are great
And your jokes are first rate
You’re like totally rad
Happy Father’s Day dad
Tag: Food
Poems and/or Drawings about Food.
140611
140611
Melt your face
I think that two dogs means
Twice as many dog farts
I’ve never fed them beans
But this smell’s off the charts
140511
140511
#1 Mom
I have the world’s best mother
She cooks meals like no other
She keeps a spick-and-span house
She cleans with nary a grouse
Always time to fix a mess
Every task is a success
I have the world’s best mother
I love her like no other
140503
140503
Bacon gouda was very good… ah
If you want a place to park it
Go to AG’s Comfort Market
I think they have the best grilled cheese
All their food will certainly please
Go to Comfort and see Kari
If you don’t, you will be sorry
140501
140501
Hot enough to fry an egg…
78 at nine
Some people think that’s fine
But on the Central Coast
That’s when we start to roast
Ninety seven at noon
That’s when we start to swoon
When it’s still hot at night
It makes us feel like shite
We’ll all be in sorrow
If hotter tomorrow
We’ll be wearing a frown
If it doesn’t cool down
140423
140423
Jury’s still out
I am serving jury duty
Hope I don’t get jury cootie
First guy seated on the jury
Smells like last night he ate curry
Second juror can’t stop coughin’
She coughs loud, and she coughs often
The third to sit is a fat dude
The fourth girl has some attitude
Number five seems like he’s crazy
Juror six is young and lazy
I am worried about seven
Says she talks to God in heaven
The guy in eight does not look fine
But not as bad as juror nine
Number ten is an old lady
Eleven looks slim and shady
And he’s wearing something furry
Hope I don’t get on this jury
140419
140419
What’s cooking on Cook?
Tonight was a big winner
We hosted friends for dinner
First ones there were Kath and Gabe
Then came Stephanie and Dave
We chowed down on some tri-tip
While we had some wine to sip
Then we played some Zombie Dice
Jean won once, but I lost twice
Doesn’t matter, fun was had
Thanks for coming to our pad!
140415
140415
There’s a dog and a fish and a cat in my hat
There’s a doggy on her bed
Sitting with her empty head
There’s a kitty on a box
Filled with underwears and socks
There’s a fishy in his bowl
Glad he’s not a sushi roll
Now it’s time to feed out pets
Beats a visit to the vets
They’re still fun though hardly new
Raven, Linc and Ziggy too
140411
140411
That’s so Junior High
I’m the kind of guy
Who loves to eat pie
I wish I could buy
An endless supply
But when they are dry
I suddenly cry
With tears in my eye
I wipe them and sigh
I cannot deny
This is not a lie
As George says, “Oh my!”
140317
140317
Paddy O’Downer
It happens every year
Wannabes drink green beer
Eat cabbage and corned beefs
Think shamrocks have four leafs
I don’t want to be mean
But simply wearing green
And acting childish
Doesn’t make you Irish
140227
140227
Good grub great guys
It is National Chili Day
So spend it in a special way
My favorite place to go is Tom’s
They put hair on your chest and palms
They serve iced tea from a bottle
And talk comics with a model
Don’t be scared ’cause their skin is brown
Tom’s Take-out is the best in town
1225
1225
Did you get it?
Did you get a Barbie doll?
Did you get a basketball?
Did you get a brand new car?
Did you get a steel guitar?
Did you get that fun new game?
Did you get a picture frame?
Did you get a gold iPhone?
Did you get some sweet cologne?
Did you get the xbox one?
Did you get a BB gun?
Did you get a racing bike?
Did you get that thing you like?
Did you get a choo choo train?
Did you get a golden chain?
Did you get a chia pet?
Did you get a clarinet?
As we eat our Christmas spread
Think of those without a bed
There are folks that just want life
For their brother or their wife
There are kids out in the street
Looking for a scrap to eat
Is there something you can do
To help make these dreams come true?
1223
1223
It’s a Festivus miracle
December 23rd is Festivus
It’s a holiday for the rest of us
If diminished distractions are your goal
No tinsel on your aluminum pole
If disappointed, grievances can air
Tell them how you feel like you just don’t care
Meatloaf is the traditional dinner
The Feats of Strength need to have a winner
If no one pins the head of the household
Festivus continues for time untold
1218
1218
All that and a chili dog too
Tonight is our Christmas soiree
For the folks I work with all day
It’s over in Oceano
To see a variety show
With all the popcorn we can eat
This X-mas party won’t be beat
1205
1205
Stop clownin’ around
“Keep your burgers, keep your fries,
make our wages supersize”
Fast food workers want more pay
They use food stamps everyday
So the fry cooks strike and rant
But their bosses say they can’t
If they paid a living wage
It would end this Gilded Age
1203
1203
Death Valley days
“Don’t feed the animals”, they said
If you do they’ll soon be dead
But it was just a bit of bread
And so the coyote we fed
1202
1202
How will returns work?
Amazon.com may use drones
To deliver books and iphones
This Cyber Monday would be good
To test this in my neighborhood
I wonder what they could bring me
I’d start with a Joshua Tree
Then they’d bring a whiskey sour
To my house within an hour
I’d love to get a sloppy joe
In 45 minutes or so
These drones have possibilities
To those with disabilities
Will this power be used for good
Or will it be misunderstood?
Either way is okay with me
As long as shipping is still free
1128
1123
1123
Let’s spend 5000 more
Took a walk around the park
Got home before it was dark
Chowed down on tasty tri-tip
Then some egg nog we did sip
Just another Saturday
That we spent in our own way
1101
1101
Reese’s pumpkin hangover
Dia De Los Muertos – Day of the Dead
Is symbolized by a skeletal head
It’s a time for family and reflection
After a night of too much confection
1031
1031
And pumpkin cider
A Happy Halloween
To every kid and tween
If you are on our street
Come by to trick-or-treat
While you eat our candy
We’ll be drinking brandy
1028
1028
Our werewolf is pretty hairy
Trick or treaters should be wary
Of our house; it looks real scary
While our candy is quite tasty
It might be a little hasty
To approach us for some candy
A good costume would be handy
So don’t even think of knocking
If your outfit isn’t rocking
1023
1023
Stay classy Ben & Jerry
My ice cream belt gets one more notch
Ron Burgundy’s Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch
This ice cream has butterscotch swirls
And it’s enjoyed by boys and girls
If you’re like Ron from the tele
Eat it down into your belly
Two thumbs up from Brian and Champ
To quote Brick Tamland, “I love lamp”
1016
1016
Double stuff your 8-ball
This is something few predicted
Lab rats are way more addicted
To Oreos than crack cocaine
According to the rodent’s brain
Though offered drugs they weren’t coerced
They eat the creamy center first
This just proves that sugar and fat
Are the real drugs – imagine that!
1012
1012
D is for diabetes
Cookies and milk are sweet to eat
For a quick snack, they can’t be beat
Oreos and chocolate chips
Stick to your fingers and your hips
1008
1008
You never know what you’re gonna get
Though he exercised and ate Wheaties
Tom Hanks has Type 2 Diabetes
Why he got it needs further study
But sugar ain’t his Bosom Buddy
1003
1003
I need a Bloody Mary
Today I met a fairy
Playful but kind of wary
She wasn’t very hairy
But smelled like Boysenberry
Clothes crimson like a cherry
Wings delicate and airy
But strong enough to carry
A sprite so very merry
Attractive and not scary
Like Tinkerbell from Barrie
I hope someday she’ll marry
And live up in an aerie
0927
0927
Carbs really are bad
The head of pasta maker Barilla
Has a case of verbal diarrhea
No matter how much the right will insist
The “classic family” does not exist
I don’t hate them because they’re anti-gay
But I rarely eat bad carbs anyway
0924
0924
Do they serve anything else?
There once was a man from Miami
Who frantically cleaned with a chamois
When he was quite spent
To Denny’s he went
And ordered Moons Over My Hammy
0904
0904
Sorry Charlie
There once was a man from Chicago
Who canned tuna in Pago Pago
When a thoroughbred
Kicked him in the head
He thought he was Dr. Zhivago
0814
0814
Ode on a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
Of cups made from peanut butter
There are none better than Reese’s
Folks can claim that I’m a nutter
But I even like their pieces
If the pleated cups aren’t enough
Valentine’s day brings Reese’s hearts
Christmas means peanut butter trees
So sweet and salty, that’s the stuff!
They come in two convenient parts
One for now and then a reprise