210618

210618
A yankee is a quickie when you’re alone

This dork who would cheer for the Yankees
Would fill all his pockets with hankies
When there was no doubt
He’d whip a cloth out
And celebrate with a few wankees

210122

210122
Oh Henry! > Baby Ruth

There once was a Hank known as hammer
The pitchers that faced him would stammer
The number he wore
A big 44
An RBI and Home Run slammer

210108

210108
What’s my opinion of Kingman’s performance?

To Dodger fans Tommy Lasorda
Was family – an uncle sorta
He wore number two
And always bled blue
With Vin, they’re the top of the order

180521

180521
4-1 and I went to the 1

Shohei Ohtani
Has only lost once so far
The one game I’ve seen

180518

180518
3,142 hits in 20 years

They’ve punched me more than I can count
They hit me like they’re Robin Yount
From this pain train I can dismount
At last I have a bank account

171101

171101
Sorry Dodgers

There’s the final out
The fat lady is singing
The Astros have won

170403

170403
#CapsOn #PlayBall

From Spring to Summer into Fall
The ump can’t wait to scream “Play ball!”
I got my glove, I got my hat
The whole crowd roars – Mike Trout’s at bat
The count is full, so is my hope
If Angels lose, I’ll cuss and mope
But if they win, I’ll beam and glow
I’ll light up like the big halo!
‘Cause win or lose, we know the score
161 games more

160404

160404
Play ball! #CapsOn

It is only Spring
But today is all about
The boys of Summer

160401

160401
International Trump day

Brownie and Raven are good dogs
On weekends, we go riding hogs
I want to move to the UK
I want to work all night and day
Trojans and Yankees are my faves
Olives and mushrooms are my craves
Corned Beef is the best Irish food
That Kanye West is one cool dude
I like DC more than Marvel
I like life forms that were larval
The best rock group is Fleetwood Mac
My life is planned by zodiac
Tom Cruise told me about Xenu
It fits right in with my world view
As president, Trump has the tools
If you believe this – April Fools!

150722

150722
It’s nice while it lasts

The Angels have been pretty hot
But time will tell if it’s for naught
Now seven games won in a row
And last lost ’bout two weeks ago
What happens when this hot streak ends?
Will Trout and Pujols still be friends?

150713

150713
Keep that halo lit!

In first place at the All-Star break
That Angels headline sure seems fake
April and May were a bummer
But they got hot in the summer
Angels aren’t great, but they’re the best
In mediocre AL West
Santiago, Pujols and Trout
I hope they spark an All-Star rout

141011

141011
Older for 11 more months

Tommy is my brother
We have the same mother
We have the same dad too
Our grandma is named Lou
Friday was his birthday
I hope it was okay
His age is 48
I think he’s pretty great

141003

141003
Malodorous vomit pancakes

It’s so fucking hot
And the Angels lost again
Eat a bag of shit!

140909

140909
9/9 is pretty fine

Greetings from the Central Coast
Thank you for your birthday post
’twas two score and seven years
Doctor grabbed me by the ears
Mom bore down, doc gave a yank
Then the doc gave me a spank
Though my beard is going gray
Seems like it was yesterday

140605

140605
Happy Birthday Jean!

Happy Birthday to my wife Jean
I wish I had a time machine
To see you on the ones I missed
I hope this doesn’t sound obsessed
But I will be there at the rest
At least as long as I exist

140401

140401
But I do root for the Angels

I’ve been the butt of many jokes
But I won’t fall for any hoax
I don’t belong to a think tank
But you’ll still find me hard to prank
I’ve never been a master sleuth
But I won’t believe your untruth
I’ve been a nerd since grammar school
But I am not the April Fool

140331

140331
I don’t care if I never get back

All across the US of A
From Seattle to Tampa Bay
From San Diego to St. Paul
It’s opening day for baseball
Through fall and winter I did mope
But opening day brings new hope
‘Cause when the home team takes the field
Last year’s suffering is all healed
I got my glove; I got my hat
My favorite player is at bat
Will he hit it over the wall?
Let’s find out, it’s time to play ball!

140103

140103
Light up that halo #AngelsWin

Halo around the sun
Halo around the sun
Means today will be fun
Halo around the moon
Halo around the moon
Means fun will happen soon
Halo around your head
Halo around your head
Means you’re probably dead

1010

1010
Here’s to another 47!

Happy birthday to my brother Tom
We have the same dad and the same mom
For 11 months, he’s the oldest
That’s why for me, September’s the best
I’m a 9/9 and he’s a 10/10
That means he’s older than me again
We’re Irish Twins thanks to dad and mom
Happy birthday to my brother Tom

0522

0522
Troutstanding

A Trout named Michael
Hit for the cycle
A single, triple
Then a huge double
But he wasn’t done
He hit a home run
Four hits in five tries
With five RBIs
A difficult deed
Needing strength and speed
All Angel fans shout
Congrats to Mike Trout

0414

0414
Who is Casey today?

Casey at the Bat: A Ballad of the Republic Sung in the Year 1888
By Ernest Lawrence Thayer

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day;
The score stood four to two with but one inning left to play;
And then, when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go, in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which “springs eternal in the human breast;”
They thought, If only Casey could but get a whack at that,
We’d put up even money now, with Casey at the bat.

But Flynn procede Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,
And the former was a no-good and the latter was a fake;
So, upon that stricken multitude grim meloncholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey’s getting to the bat.

But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despised, tore the cover off the ball,
And when the dust had lifted and men saw what had occurred,
There was Jimmy safe at second, and Flynn a-huggin’ third.

Then from five thousand throats and more threr rose a lusty yell,
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell,
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Casey’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Casey’s bearing and a smile on Casey’s face,
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the croud could doubt `twas Casey at the bat.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tounges applauded as he wiped them on his shirt.
Then, while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey’s eye, a sneer curled Casey’s lip.

And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there,
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped —
“That ain’t my style,” said Casey. “Strike one,” the umpire said.

From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm waves on a stern and distant shore.
“Kill him; kill the umpire!” shouted someone from the stand;–
And it’s likely they’d have killed him had not Casey raised his hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Casey’s visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
But Casey still ignored it, and the umpire said, “Strike two.”

“Fraud,” cried the maddened thousands, and the echo answered “Fraud,”
But one scornful look from Casey, and the multitude was awed.
The saw his face grow stern and cold; they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn’t let that ball go by again.

The sneer is gone from Casey’s lip; his teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey’s blow.

Oh! somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville — mighty Casey has Struck Out.

0413

0413
Hamilton gets off the snide

There once was a man from Anaheim
Who watched the Angels all of the time
He thought they were done
But instead they won
So now begins the season long climb

0412

0412
Bring back Downing

It’s not even mid-April
Yet I’m quite done with baseball
Already gone is the thrill
Of spring and the dreams of fall
Angels are my team for life
Ever since ’75
While the Halos deal with strife
I’ll sit back and watch the dive

0409

0409
Josh Whiffs-a-ton

I don’t worry about North Korea
Or if GMOs cause diarrhea
I don’t care that Lohan’s on Letterman
Or when Tom Cruise will be a better man
I don’t know about any of that shit
But when will Josh Hamilton get a hit?

0403

0403
Swinging fryer

There once was a fan of the Padres
Who liked apple pie and Chevrolets
But hot dogs were out
They gave him the gout
So he ate nachos with mayonnaise

0401

0401
Let’s go Fightin’ Popes!

In the Spring a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of baseball
In the Spring we disregard the painful losses of fall
In the Spring we draft our favorites and hope they prevail
In the Spring those who ignore injuries are doomed to fail

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