170714
I’d tap that!
Because life is short
And needles do thwart
Jean now has a port
For draws by the quart
170712
170712
He has no valves to press
Jizztrumpet junior is not smart
His treachery is off the chart
It’s funny that it’s his email
That shows the USA for sale
170710
170710
Alamo Creek Fire
All the hills are brown and dry
Temperatures are way too high
All it takes is one small spark
Burning branches, leaves, and bark
Mother Nature starts to cry
Smoke and ashes fill the sky
Most within have quickly fled
Those that didn’t are soon dead
170707
170707
Hoping for a Goodyear
Breathing in the desert air
Hoping for some better care
Treatment might still be the same
But this staff is not so lame
170705
170705
As always #FuckCancer
This is not a drill
We’re on our way to Phoenix
Our quest for the cure
170703
170703
Happy fucking Fourth of July
On this sad 4th of July
The Jizztrumpet makes me cry
He shows allies no respect
World wide image is now wrecked
Presidential he is not
Melting down our melting pot
Every tweet’s a dis or brag
It’s like shitting on the flag
Though we beg, urge and beseech
GOP will not impeach
While you eat your barbecue
The POTUS is fucking you
170630
170630
Scat school
Darker pee and lighter poo
Means that something’s wrong with you
Darker poo and lighter pee
Indicate that you’re healthy
170628
170628
We’ll get through this together
Avoid strife and hate
Focus on the ones you love
Nothing else matters
170626
170626
I’d like to Slytherin your Gryffindor
There once was a Potter named Harry
Who fought against foes that were scary
But his greatest dread
Performing in bed
His wand work was quite ordinary
170623
170623
Cry me a liver
There once was a Ruben named Billy
Who could make your outside look silly
He’d yellow your skin
Your hands, feet and chin
Right down to your boobs and/or willy
170621
170621
Put that away!
Brownie wants to get a treat
And he has a brand-new trick
He will sit down on your feet
And display his red lipstick
170619
170619
We love you Lynn!
We had a good visit from Lynn
She’s one of Jean’s Midwestern kin
Just being here made us both grin
Can’t wait till she does it again
170616
170616
Jean is my Wonder Woman
Though sweet Jean is still real sick
Those good thoughts sure did the trick
You can always send some more
To this cancer warrior
170614
170614
We will take what you can give
We need your good thoughts
We need your love and friendship
Now more than ever
170612
170612
That’s a vile vial
If you have the runs for weeks
Squirting out between your cheeks
You might have to test your poo
This is what you have to do
First, you have to make a poop
Then you gather with a scoop
Take the steamy, stinky pile
Place it gently in the vial
Do not fling and do not jab
Take it quickly to a lab
Here’s the funny part of it
Scientists will check your shit
They will test what smells like hell
All to make sure that you’re well
170609
170609
#Predisent #Covfefe
This White House isn’t eloquent
With #Covfefe and #Predisent
Established rules they circumvent
To crush this Great Experiment
170607
170607
As good as chicken soup
Nothing really sounds that yummy
When you have an upset tummy
At both ends you feel real crummy
Only cure’s a kiss from mummy
170605
170605
Everybody spread the word
Last weekend we did celebrate
Jean’s fond farewell to forty-eight
We drove up north to watch a play
And spent the night in Morro Bay
The drive was smooth, the weather fine
We ate good food and drank great wine
So many friends to hang out with
To honor her this June the Fifth
She’s so awesome, I have to say
We should make this a holiday
170602
170602
She’s the best
I know it’s late, what can I do?
My poetry is overdue
I’m sorry, but my Jelly Moo
Is more pressing than all of you
170531
170531
Sleep tight don’t let the covfefes bite
“Despite the constant
Negative press covfefe
I wrote a haiku”
170529
170529
Can’t wait for Volume 3!
There once was a raccoon named Rocket
His friend Groot could fit in his pocket
He’s covered in fur
But one thing’s for sure
His tail won’t be worn by a Crockett
170526
170526
Sad!
Jizztrumpet says Germans are bad
One of the worst was his own dad
This has to make most teutons mad
But does make him Putin’s comrade
170524
170524
I don’t know how long we can cope
The world has much love for this Pope
His sermons preach of lasting hope
But today, he walked a tightrope
By welcoming in a big dope
Jizztrumpet is a misanthrope
Repellent because of his grope
His pride is a slippery slope
When asked to smile Francis said, “NOPE!”
170522
170522
Apologies to John, Paul, George and Ringo
Melania told Jizztrumpet
I hate your orange tan
Then she told Jizztrumpet
Your stupid Muslim ban
Your tiny, wrinkled gland
Don’t want to hold your hand
170519
170519
It’s a piss poor day
Sitting, trying to excrete
Earwig on the toilet seat!
Makes me jump in a heartbeat
Frantically I cry and bleat
Then I dribble on my feet
Grotesque insect so petite
Grab it with a two-ply sheet
Wad it up all tight and neat
Flush it down so indiscreet
Victory is bittersweet
170517
170517
Obstruction of justice
Roses are red
Violets are blue
They’re coming for the Jizztrumpet
I’m so fucking happy
170515
170515
Essiac and soursop
Every night I make the tea
For my little Sweetie Pea
Hoping that this is the key
For her to be cancer free
170512
170512
Don’t drive angry
I tell you this, it is no lie
Drivers today want me to die
At least four times I’ve used my horn
The first two beeps were in the morn
Two near side-swipes on way to work
And then at lunch another jerk
He came at me from the wrong way
Then flipped me off to end the fray
That’s not enough, now here’s a truck
It’s backing up, *honk* what the fuck?!?
This bad driving has caused a shock
When I go home, I think I’ll walk
170510
170510
It’s only been 110 days!
Jizztrumpet is Nixonian
His orders are draconian
The consummate vulgarian
The Comey thing – contrarian
Constant attacks on media
Precipitates acedia
The US ain’t utopia
But let’s avoid dystopia
170508
170508
Liar, liar Jizztrumpet on fire
There once was a hero named Sally
She knew that Flynn was Russia’s pally
She gave evidence
That Flynn lied to Pence
Which might bring about Trump’s finale
170505
170505
Think before you drink
From Las Vegas to Lima, Ohio
Gringos celebrate Cinco de Mayo
They’ll drink más Coronas and Dos Equis
And power down nachos with gloppy cheese
Bros revel in their appropriation
Hailing a wall that block immigration
Of course the irony does not stop there
Back in Mexico they simply don’t care