180223
And young lesbian love
I finished binge watching “Everything Sucks”
It was so 90’s, it had “Mighty Ducks”
My favorite part was watching Luke’s mom
Dating a white nerd she thought was the bomb
180221
180219
180219
Or wear your socks to bed
Chilly nights get awfully lonely
When you’ve lost your one and only
So that you don’t feel defeated
Make sure that your bed is heated
180216
180216
#OrcCon2018
Scott and I played many games
Pairs, Loot Letter, and Codenames
Clank! and Lords of Waterdeep
Now it’s time to go to sleep
180214
180214
She cho-cho-chose me!
Friday night – a twist of fate
We met on a crazy date
She gave me a better life
I asked her to be my wife
I am hers, and she is mine
My forever valentine
Nine short years went by too fast
Our true love was meant to last
My lover and my best friend
Cancer got her in the end
I am hers, and she is mine
My forever valentine
I miss her all night and day
Feeling pain in every way
Sweetie Pea will always be
In my heart eternally
I am hers, and she is mine
My forever valentine
180212
180212
They make more money than me
First day at new job
My pets are my coworkers
And they brought donuts
180209
180209
My job is packing now
Today’s my last day at my job
But you won’t hear me cry or sob
I wasn’t happy working here
I won’t miss this dead end career
From here on out, I don’t have work
I won’t have chores or tasks to shirk
But I’ve no time to mess and play
In two short months, I move away
180207
180207
I hope it rains!
He wants a wall and ICE to raid
Jizztrumpet craves a yuge parade
He needs to hear a fusillade
While his supporters drink Kool-Aid
180205
180205
Now we’re all poor – LOL
Listen to the bankers bawling
Rich people are caterwauling
All because the Dow Jones falling
My broke ass just sits here lolling
180202
180202
Fuck the Patriots!
We’re not Philly fans
But this Sunday, we all say
“Fuck the Patriots!”
180131
180131
Eejit is Irish for idiot
I’ve been known to say things stupid
I can be a fecking eejit
I am not weak, I know I’m strong
I say sorry when I am wrong
180129
180129
I was swallowing my pain
My assests are my wit and charm
But sometimes I cause my friends harm
So if I’ve brought you grief or pain
I’ll try not to do that again
180126
180126
I resign to always love you!
I quit my stupid job today
I don’t feel great, I’m not okay
I’m sad because my Sweetie Pea
Can’t celebrate tonight with me
180124
180124
Grassy ass
Fluffy kitty in the grass
Please let me and Brownie pass
We are going for a walk
You don’t have to be a cock
Fluffy kitty in the grass
Stands his ground ‘cause he’s an ass
Brownie wants to make him pay
But we walk the other way
180122
180122
Hello darkness my old friend
Every cloud has rain in it
Every tear has pain in it
Every cough has germs in it
Every corpse has worms in it
Every lie has true in it
Every truth has screw in it
Every gasp has breath in it
Every life has death in it
180119
180119
Anything but plain
There once was a lass on an airplane
Who spilled so her jeans had a wine stain
Her goldfish she shared
Attention was snared
Creating the legend of plane Jane
180117
180117
Just the tip
There was a strange man from Kilkenny
Who’d suck his own dick for a penny
The kind of a guy
Who’d blast in his eye
If given a ten or a twenny
180115
180115
This little piggy went to Waterford
There was a fat man from Dungarvan
Who sharpened his knives to start carvin’
He slaughtered a beast
And cooked a huge feast
Then ate it all like he was starvin’
180112
180112
Good bye big man
Jerry called me up to say
That his father passed away
And they buried him today
You may lose your lovely wife
Or a foe who caused you strife
There is one thing sure in life
Our time here will always end
Here’s advice I recommend
Make sure that you call your friend
Let them know just how you feel
Tell the truth and keep it real
Ere the stopping of life’s wheel
180110
180110
Heavyhearted haiku
Thinking about Jean
Makes me laugh and makes me cry
I’m ok with that
180108
180108
2018 – the year of the block
Blocking isn’t taken lightly
I don’t scroll and do it nightly
Post your nonsense, cause a clamor
You’ll get hit with my banhammer
180105
180105
100% capacity
Her imperfections were perfect
My heart had every love box checked
I won’t forget my Sweetie Pea
I know she’ll always be with me
180103
180103
Things a Jizztrumpet would tweet
“My grabbing of pussies is great”
“I’m best when I’m tweeting out hate”
“My button is bigger than yours”
“I’m gonna cause nuclear wars”
180101
180101
Not a bad start
It’s the first day of the year
Linc and Brownie are both near
Even though I’m feeling blue
They help change my point of view
171230
171230
Worst year ever!
Twenty seventeen –
The worst of my fifty years –
Sucked a fat dog’s ass
171227
171227
So over 2017
Can’t wait for this year to end
So hard losing my best friend
Jizztrumpet is a big child
Neo-Nazis running wild
Orders for a Muslim ban
Stimulates the Ku Klux Klan
All women hashtag #MeToo
Roy Moore’s lawyer is a Jew
Rich folks got a big tax break
Bigots won’t bake wedding cake
Star Wars fans hate number VIII
Next year best be fucking great
171223
171223
Or whatever you celebrate
Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas – peace to all
And Happy New Year
171220
171220
All for me!
When I’m longing for Jean’s presence
I go shopping and buy presents
Just for me and not for sharing
I am great at my self caring
171216
171213
171213
Turn it Up!
Young girls kept him turned on
Cherry chapstick sure made him grin
Banned from malls across the south-land
Dating children’s bad once again and I think it’s a win
Well, I heard Mister Moore talk about her
Well, I heard ole Roy put her down
Well, I hope Roy Moore will remember
A southern man don’t need him around anyhow
Sweet home Alabama
Where the state is turning blue
Sweet home Alabama
Jones is coming home to you!
171209
171209
Well, not everything
I no longer can do yardwork
Weeding – Sweeping – that is hard work!
My whole body isn’t nifty
Things are harder when you’re fifty