Stick Person Poetry

190925

190925
How do you like them apples?

Today I think I’m gonna try
To bake some apples in a pie
The fruit was grown for Sweetie Pea
I know it will taste good to me

190923

190923
Greta can’t sleep

Big business has stolen the young people’s dreams
They poison the oceans, lakes, rivers and streams
Compostable products like bags, cups and straws
Make them stacks of money all done “for the cause”

190920

190920
She got a little wider

One Friday while drinking a cider
A knock at the door was a spider
She first swallowed me
Then Linc and Brownie
Then all of us lived there inside her

Boiling praties in a pot
Wearing wellies my mum bought
Hoping Rory score a try
Matching braces with my tie
Drying trousers out the back
Giving out and what’s the craic?
Chancing for a shift or shag
Living here is not a drag

190916

190916
I love them both

Brownie loves food and naps and walks
And he loves sticks and balls and rocks
Linc Loves Linc
Brownie loves shoes and coats and hats
And he loves birds and dogs and cats
Linc Loves Linc
Brownie loves him and them and her
And he loves smiles and tails and fur
Linc loves Linc
Brownie loves strong and sweet and stink
And he loves you and me and Linc
Linc Loves Linc

190913

190913
He slashes – he scores!

When there’s a full moon
And it’s Friday the 13th
Jason plays hockey

190911

190911
I didn’t mean to hurt you

A while ago I hurt a friend
It took a year to talk again
I only have myself to blame
Our friendship will not be the same
The pain it caused made us both sad
But time has passed and now I’m glad
I have this chance to make amends
That someday soon we can be friends

190909

190909
So blow out the candles and have a piece of cake!

It’s my day of birth, but I ain’t new
Like a deck of cards I’m 52
To my Sweetie Pea I’m Sugar Pooh
I did not move here to eat lamb stew
Count ABC’s twice to get my age
I’m like a tiger trapped in a cage
But maybe this year I’ll turn the page
They say 50 plus is such a rage
Took 52 years to get this far
I walk everywhere ’cause I’ve no car
And my birthday wish is so bizarre
But I want to be a viral star
With my rocking rhymes that have such flair
Plus drawings of Linc and Brownie Bear
Since we’re Facebook friends, I know you care
So please do your part and click on “share”

190906

190906
Another birthday rhyme

For your big day I have a treat
It’s not a meal that you can eat
It’s not a check that you can cash
It’s not a place where you can crash
It’s not a board game you can play
It’s not a dye job for that gray
It just might give a spirit lift
This poem is your birthday gift

190904

190904
Goal gradient hypothesis

Thought I saw the finish line
But it was a warning sign
I’m not even half way there
Jon’s not living on a prayer
There’s a ton of work to do
Coming out the old wazoo
Hold the party, save the cheer
I should be done by next year

190902

190902
Dana Andrews said prunes gave him the runes

Feeling fat – feeling bloated
Eating chips – I’m devoted
Pants too tight – my belt cinches
Need to lose – ’bout two inches
Got a plan – extreme eating
Lots of prunes – then excreting

190830

190830
It wasn’t me

When a drummer meets a drummer
Which one is the bummer?
When a ranger meets a ranger
Which one is in danger?
When a poet meets a poet
Which one doesn’t know it?
When a martyr meets a martyr
Which one is the farter?

190828

190828
Ate legs good – eight legs bad

Creepy crawly – big and hairy
Eight legs skitter – really scary
Thought it might attack my kitty
Or cause havoc in the city
Then it bolted into laundry
Which causes this queasy quandary
Should the pile go in the drier
Or just set the house on fire?

190826

190826
What a shit stain

Jizztrumpet is so insane
His sick and demented brain
Thinks that a bomb from a plane
Could destroy a hurricane

190823

190823
Ten steps back

I need to finish soon
I’ve had this job since June
Just one more week to go
Until I get that dough
The fat lady could sing
Except for one small thing
I need to start anew
And that is why I’m blue

190821

190821
Go blow your trumpet

Hey imbecile – now here’s the thing
You’re Putin’s pawn – you’re not a king
With Israel you failed the quiz
You can’t be more than king of jizz

190819

190819
Seeing red

Hurling is rough
Gotta be tough
Smacked in the nose
That’s how it goes
Play really hard
Get a red card
Icing his bruise
Watch his team lose
Back in the town
Everyone’s down
But no one sneers
He still gets cheers

190816

190816
Not the hypothalamus

There was a lonely man
Who had a needy gland
The throbbing in his hand
Pulsed like a reggae band
He did the deed as planned
The climax felt so grand

190814

190814
Different seasons

August has AU
Autumn has AU also
August is autumn

190812

190812
Ode to a glove

In my old coat I find a glove
A gift from Jean given with love
It warms my hand, it warms my heart
I think about our time apart
With this snug glove I walk alone
Though it’s been tough, I know I’ve grown
This glove is like a lucky charm
When tightly worn, it wards off harm
I think about the times we spent
My glove on hers and what that meant
The feels I get wearing this glove
From Sweetie Pea with so much love

190809

190809
Excremential crisis

In just one month I’m 52
I have ennui and deja vu
I do not know what I should do
I could wear black or powder blue
I could eat steak or Irish stew
I could watch Jaws or something new
I could just pee or full on poo
Lord give a sign here in the loo!

190807

190807
Self employed blues

I work from home in my underpants
With Brownie and Linc, I sometimes dance
And once in a while, I’ll do some work
Pay’s ok, but the boss is a jerk

190805

190805
Racist cops

If you’re black – cops attack
If you’re brown – cops beat down
If you’re white – cops polite

190802

190802
Supplied with air

I’m all of out rhymes, I can’t make a haiku
I thought I could write my Brownie a theme song
I’m all of out rhymes, I can’t make a haiku
It’s no doubt too late to say that my art’s so wrong

190731

190731
High-jinx

A tough T-Rex named Tony
And a stoned whale named Stoney
Met at the air show in Bray
Then old Stoney and Tony
Saw a polka-dot pony
In a green field chewing hay
Tony then said to Stoney
“Here is my abalone
I must eat pony today!”
So the dinosaur crony
Watched the foul ceremony
Munching his seafood entree
That’s the story of Tony
And his stoned friend named Stoney
Gorging a path to Galway

190729

190729
730 Jean free days 💔

Two years ago I lost my wife
While others choose this day to weep
The end does not define her life
Her memory each day I keep

190726

190726
Thanks crazyblinddate.com

I remember well that summer night
When we first met from a dating site
Those eleven years have rambled on
Now I’m over here, and she is gone
Her absence is felt in every way
But I’m grateful for that fateful day
Although I still miss my Sweetie Pea
It’s not as dark as it used to be