Category: Ridiculous Rhymes

0513

0513
Central Coast FTW!

Sunday drive isn’t a hassle
We saw zebras at Hearst Castle
Elephant seals on the shoreline
Dad tasted beer while we had wine
Filet mignon and garlic toast
Mother’s Day on the Central Coast

0511

0511
Thanks for the visit!

From near and from far
Our friends are many
Two of the best are
Annette and Kenny
Sipping Chardonnay
Eating barbecue
Or watching a play
Is cool with you two

0508

0508
All hail Bones!

Last night we played Star Trek Catan
We went where no starship had gone
It was fun, and I did enjoy
My win thanks to Dr. McCoy

I don’t really give a fuck
But we’ll soon have a King Chuck
Queen Liz is 87
And on her way to heaven
She’s number one by and large
But, she’s putting Charles in charge
He will travel in her place
And be “King” as a test case
Most Britons love QE2
And don’t want to bid adieu
Yet time catches up to all
While Charles waits for his call

0506

0506
Monday not funday

Something is going wrong at work
Is it an electronic quirk?
Or is it another mistake?
It’s unreal how many they make
Seemingly, once you get hired
It’s difficult to be fired

0504

0504
Utinni!

From Luke to Yoda to R2D2
To Han Solo – “May the 4th be with you!”
From A New Hope to Empire to Jedi
We know that Darth Vader is the bad guy
The prequels sucked from here to the Death Star
Anakin is a brat and fuck Jar Jar
Will VII through IX redeem the franchise?
They only sure thing is more merchandise

0501

0501
To Medb and Fergus from Maine

Féile Na Bealtaine
Long ago I was in a
Group with the great Catherine Kay
I thought of her this May Day
We were Queen Medb Encampment
Much fun was had in her tent
We would sing, drink, laugh and rave
Cate was a passionate Medb
QME seems long ago
Much time since the last táin bó
Medb is gone and Fergus too
So we sadly sing Abu!

0430

0430
SurfingGoats.com

The internet’s won
No need for a vote
There’s nothing more fun
Than a surfing goat

0429

0429
I’m Jean’s honey bunny

Driving around, and it’s sunny
There is a quail and a bunny
Cows make milk and bees make honey
Pollen can make my nose runny
These poems may not make money
But hopefully they are funny

0427

0427
Comic book heroes are awesome

Every Day is #TableTopDay
Today we decided to play
Sentinels of the Multiverse
Minions are bad, villains are worse
I was Tempest the alien
More fishy than mammalian
Weather forces at my command
Lightning and hail flew from my hand
We really thought we had it made
But lost quickly to Baron Blade
So then a second game was on
Easily beating Omnitron
It’s fun enough to play anon
Next time Haka or Tachyon

0426

0426
Without belief in deities

We’ve all listened to John Lennon
Sing “Imagine there’s no heaven”
I don’t imagine anymore
Opened my mind and closed that door
Don’t spend my time wondering why
I know what happens when we die
If this offends, it’s not meant to
Its just what I know to be true

0424

0424
#Desperate

I’m @TKPope on Twitter
Posting my poems is a chore
And I’m rarely there anymore
I think that makes me a quitter

0422

0422
Jolt me baby!

I adore thee caffeine
You make Mondays less mean
My day starts with hot tea
Less bitter than coffee
I need a lunch buzz too
It’s Diet Mt. Dew
A dinner with iced tea
Is how it’s gonna be
Don’t have to say this twice
Caffeine is my worst vice

0420

0420
I <3 Mom & Dad

Happy Anniversary Dad and Mom
You’ve been married for 47 years
You did a good job with me, James and Tom
Seeing us through good times, blood, sweat and tears
Buena Park was a good place to raise boys
The schools were good, and the crime wasn’t bad
We had enough food; we had enough toys
We had enough love, so thanks Mom and Dad!

0417

0417
Check your sources!

CNN – “They got the guy!”
“Oopsie, that might be a lie”
Is it so hard to check facts?
You look like a bunch of hacks
False hope while nerves are fraying
Journalists have a saying
“If your mom says she loves you
Check your sources through and through”

0416

0416
God hates WBC

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Fuck the Westboro Baptist Church

0415

0415
B

You’re at a marathon
The next minute you’re gone
Our stomachs are in knots
Boston is in our thoughts

0412

0412
Bring back Downing

It’s not even mid-April
Yet I’m quite done with baseball
Already gone is the thrill
Of spring and the dreams of fall
Angels are my team for life
Ever since ’75
While the Halos deal with strife
I’ll sit back and watch the dive

0411

0411
Breakfast burrito FTW!

Tom’s Take-Out is a burger joint
The food’s great, but that’s not the point
Mike and Mark pair fast food with fun
Witty banter served on a bun
They also make the best grease bombs
So if you’re hungry, go to Tom’s!

0409

0409
Josh Whiffs-a-ton

I don’t worry about North Korea
Or if GMOs cause diarrhea
I don’t care that Lohan’s on Letterman
Or when Tom Cruise will be a better man
I don’t know about any of that shit
But when will Josh Hamilton get a hit?

0408

0408
Time for a good blow

All of the way to Grover
These gusts will knock you over
It is Sofa King windy
It would blow off your bindi

0406

0406
We came we saw we kicked his ass

Arkham Horror is a fun game
From the mind of H. P. Lovecraft
Once you play, you’re never the same
We rolled dice, killed cultists and laughed
Nyarlathotep was our foe
While he sleeps weird portals align
Through the other world gate we go
Then sealed it with an elder sign

0405

0405
Perhaps too silly

Writing while drunk is an art
Something something something fart
This one’s sure to be a hit
Something something something shit
Schlitz and grits and shits and tits
Makes it hard to use your wits

0404

0404
R.I.P. @ebertchicago

Sadly, Roger Ebert has passed
His knowledge of movies was vast
He and Siskel gave us two thumbs
Up for the champs, down for the bums
His favorites included Fargo
Citizen Kane, Ran and Argo
He disapproved of top ten lists
Opinions like his will be missed
He lived life; he didn’t hold back
At the Movies now fades to black