170412
Art agitates art
The artist of the Charging Bull
Turns out to be a sexist fool
A Fearless Girl made him upset
She’s messing with his male mindset
His privilege is out of joint
The Fearless Girl says, “That’s the point!”
Category: Ridiculous Rhymes
170410
170410
This looks Hela good!
Hammer shock
Ragnarok
I predict lines ’round the block
Hulk and Thor
Go to war
This is what I’ve waited for!
170407
170407
War, huh, yeah
Those children need help not war
But Jizztrumpet slammed the door
Missiles flying through the air
Where they land he does not care
White men watch in the West Wing
Putin pulls his puppet’s string
170403
170403
#CapsOn #PlayBall
From Spring to Summer into Fall
The ump can’t wait to scream “Play ball!”
I got my glove, I got my hat
The whole crowd roars – Mike Trout’s at bat
The count is full, so is my hope
If Angels lose, I’ll cuss and mope
But if they win, I’ll beam and glow
I’ll light up like the big halo!
‘Cause win or lose, we know the score
161 games more
170331
170331
Go! Go Ed!! Go!!!
Edgar’s got a bike to ride
From the bay to the Westside
Powered by his strength and smiles
He will ride 500 miles
Climbing up and down the grades
All to bring an end to AIDS
170324
170324
#TheArtOfTheFail
I should not laugh, I should not gloat
But Trump is on a sinking boat
There’s so much chaos on the hill
He cannot pass his new health bill
Repeal-Replace has gone nowhere
So we still have Obamacare
The swamp is streaming through the breach
It’s “when” not “if” we should impeach
170322
170322
We’re the best! Yes we are!
We are feeble-minded folks
Every night, the same dumb jokes
We think that we’re such a hoot
Simple, but at least we’re cute
170320
170320
Hit me with your best shart!
The last few days have not been great
For bathroom trips I vacillate
Between the squirts and smelly farts
My TP use is off the charts
And now I trust my flatulence
About as much as Trump and Pence
Another cramp, so here I sit
I cannot wait for solid shit
170317
170317
Throat punch for Patty
Every Irish lass and laddie
Knows today is all for Paddy
From Clonmel to Cincinnati
They’ll punch you if you say Patty
170315
170315
I’m a leprechaun artist
St. Paddy’s day – you can’t escape
Just two more days to get in shape
You’ll eat and drink till you’re a sphere
But please don’t drink green, fucking beer
170313
170313
Somebody’s watching Jizztrumpet
Land of the free; home of the brave
But spies live in your microwave
Oh purple mountain majesty
Team 45’s a travesty
170308
170308
#DayWithoutAWoman
A day without a woman
Would seem to be inhuman
No women means no living
There would be no hug giving
No mothers making dinner
Or being the breadwinner
Make sure you thank a female
By bringing her a cocktail
170306
170306
Scariest Poe poem ever
Grabbing pussies makes me cheery, while Steve Bannon sits there bleary
Kellyanne was cleaning puddles sprinkled over my golden floor
While I tweeted, close to crapping, suddenly there came a slapping,
As if Putin fiercely fapping, fapping on my golden floor.
“‘Tis Obama! Wire tapping, tapping on my golden floor-
He is sick and so much more!”
170303
170303
The play’s the thing
We had a real good day
We went to see a play
We had a real good night
We got a tasty bite
Into our bed we creep
It’s time to go to sleep
170301
170301
Sacrifice? Or getting ready for summer?
If you have an ashen smudge
And you’ve given up sweet fudge
‘Cause your goal is losing pudge
Do you think your god will judge?
170224
170224
Freshen up with Putin Pourri
He blocked the news, he’s crossed the line
His every move is asinine
He builds a wall to bring jobs back
“Protecting us from an attack”
He hates muslims, he hates the gays
He’ll bring about the end of days
We can’t believe a word he speaks
He’s done all this in just five weeks
170222
170222
Share that shit!
Are you providing new content
Or hoping memes show your dissent?
If all you do is click on share
I question if you really care
Don’t simply share, please add your thoughts
Help simpletons connect the dots
And one last thing I beg of you
If you do share, share my shit too!
170217
170217
I cunt believe it
At work on Friday
No work on Monday
Is it wrong to say
See you next Tuesday?
170215
170215
This is treason, I’m not teasin’
Most would say it stands to reason
What Flynn did was surely treason
Now our Congress needs to squeeze in
This before impeachment season
170213
170213
Share this with your valentine
I love pizza, I love steak
I love spooning while we wake
I love boardgames, I love books
I love sharing our outlooks
I love cider, I love wine
I love that you’re genuine
I love everything we do
I love everyday with you
170210
170210
Eat, poo, love
Fuffle had one job to do
And she did it well enough
Tumors changed to truffle poo
Made this journey not so tough
170206
170206
Inspired by Peter Paul & Mary
Fuffle the Dragon will get you cancer free
So you can live a happy life and be a Sweetie Pea
Little Jeannie wore her on a silver chain
So she could do the normal stuff free from all that pain
170201
170201
Make beer, not war
If you like beer and board games too
Then you should Kickstart Dragon Brew
You choose your favorite mythic race
Then draft some cards and worker place
It’s fun to play and not a chore
So back it to “Make Beer, Not War!”
170130
170130
I must insist that you #RESIST
When he institutes a ban
We must do all that we can
To #RESIST his evil ways
From right now till end of days
170127
170127
Make America pay again and again
Mr. Jizztrumpty built a big wall
Mexico was to pay for it all
All of our imports would now face a tax
To place the price tag on American backs
170123
170123
0 days without a lie
A lie is a lie is a lie
And this one is too big to buy
Don’t tell me I need to relax
Stop calling it alternate facts
Newspeak is always rejected
Alt facts are always corrected
If we cannot trust every word
We’ll flush you like a hairy turd
170118
170118
I’m not crying! You’re crying!
We say goodbye to 44
We’d like to have at least four more
The good he did, he’d do again
As leaders go, he is a ten
But now it’s time for him to go
And when he’s gone, we’ll miss him so
We say this with the best intent
You’ll always be our president
170116
170116
Will we ever wake up?
I had a dream, but it’s over
Deceased like that dead dog Rover
The Jizztrumpet’s Russian affair
Will soon be our noxious nightmare
170113
170113
Next Friday is scarier than Jason
Friday night and I got money
So it’s date night with my honey
Head to Red Box then to take-out
Hoping that we get to make-out
But this Friday is a thirteen
And our nice night ended up mean
Movies and the food were sucky
So we didn’t get too lucky
While this evening seemed to be cursed
Next Friday will surely be worse
170111
170111
It’s time for him to go
The Jizztrumpet had a secret
And he thought he’d always keep it
To Russia he was beholden
‘Cause of showers that were golden
He will deny this tinkle tryst
While he’s on twitter getting pissed!
170109
170109
That would be a fun game night
I want to party with Kristen and Dax
They both know how to have fun and relax
After the awards, they pulled out Catan
They had wood for sheep and got their geek on