Author: tkpope

210428

210428
Can’t get there from here

Four lads in a car
They go down to Cork
They don’t get too far
Turned wrong at the fork
The hotel was wrong
And these hapless men
Did not take too long
To get lost again
They thought as they drove
That they should not roam
To Cork or to Cobh
So far from their home

210421

210421
The road to anywhere

Before you end up on a gurney
Make sure you plan a jaunty journey
Look at the map, pick a direction
It does not have to meet perfection
If flawless becomes your fixation
You’ll never find your destination
The purpose of this merry mission
To have fun on your expedition
So pick a route and start your roaming
To Wexford, Wicklow or Wyoming
To go somewhere beats going nowhere
Appreciate just how you got there

210419

210419
I’m a giver

With women’s gifts, I am a master
And this tip should avoid disaster
When buying something for your steady
Don’t get them roses or a teddy
They don’t much care for cars or rockets
Just buy them dresses that have pockets

210416

210416
As sidekick to Cap he was plucky

There once was a soldier named Bucky
Who fell from a train but was lucky
He lost his left arm
But no other harm
His new metal arm isn’t sucky

210414

210414
Blood, privilege and cold

A new Cap in red, white and blue
Without serum, he’s just like you
He’s beaten up by two black chicks
A red-head girl gets in some kicks
His pride is hurt and so’s his friend
His means will justify the end
But will he change with this one vial?
Will he be good or become vile?
His hatefulness is now revealed
He’ll end you with his fucking shield!

210405

210405
Show me your vax pix

I see so many vax pix
Each one I see gets my clicks
I also want a vax pic
But vax roll out is not quick
I will not get the vax soon
I won’t get it before June
It might take till September
Or god forbid December
I want to get a vax pic
I do not want to get sick

210402

210402
Lent is over!

There once was a sweet baby Jesus
Who did all he could just to please us
Then nailed to two planks
We show our deep thanks
With baskets of eggs and Maltesers

210326

210326
Winnie’s the shit

There once was a Pooh bear named Winnie
He was pretty chubby not skinny
And I must admit
That Pooh is the shit
If you don’t like Pooh, you’re a ninny!

210324

210324
Ever Given is giving nightmares

You would be everyone’s least favorite pal
If your boat blocked up the Suez Canal
Kickstarted board games will lift my morale
Unless they’re stuck in the Suez Canal
As poems go this is dull and banal
But not as fucked as the Suez Canal

210319

210319
And then they were married

A handsome young diver in Kerry
Was asked where he’s from by sweet Mary
He said quick enough
That he was from Muff
That Muff diver made Mary merry

210315

210315
It’s the same old meme since twenty-nineteen

Another year goes badly
Paddy’s sadly voided
And deniers, stoked the fires
Should have been avoided
And you see, that to me
They hate my family
With no masks, and false facts, they’re denying
With our masks and our jabs
And our jabs made in labs
Wash your hands, stay inside, we are crying!
COVID sucks, COVID sucks
CO-O-VID, CO-O-VID, CO-O-VID-VID-VID
When will this end, will it end?
CO-O-VID, CO-O-VID, CO-O-VID-VID-VID-VID, oh

210310

210310
The Killin’ Irish!

I’m glad I’m not a bride
And living in Kilbride
I’d never drive my car
So near to Kilmacar
Way down in Kilmacow
I’d hate to be a cow
And in Killinaspick
I’d hate to be a cow

210308

210308
Leave your jewels in the bank and buy a revolver

Fair play to Constance Markievicz
A Polish “noble” she did hitch
A countess and a suffragette
A revolutionary threat
First woman in the parliament
She railed against establishment
A foe to Churchill and Lloyd George
A new nation she helped to forge
Keen with a rifle and her wits
In Stephen’s Green she shot the Brits
A friend to Yeats and to the poor
She showed the British to the door

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