tkpope

141019

141019
Half elf half evil

There once was a magus named Seltyiel
Who combined magic with cold hard steel
While Lem would beguile
Bad guys for a while
He preferred to make the henchmen squeal

141017

141017
It’s full of sucks

Stinky’s is where people used to go
The burgers were pretty good, you know?
Got closed by Starbucks
And that really sucks
So they ain’t goin’ there any mo’

More precious than rubies
We must save the boobies
We looks ’cause we gottas
We must save the tatas
For Rosies and Ellens
We must save the melons
From goth to punk rockers
We must save the knockers
As seen on computers
We must save the hooters
From Yuma to Yonkers
We must save the honkers
They feel good on shoulders
We must save the boulders
Enjoyed in all cities
We must save the titties

141013

141013
K-K-K-Kenny and Annette

(To Elton John’s “Bennie and the Jets”)
He’s handy, she’s cheerful,
Have you ever met?
Our friends’re so much fun,
Kenny and Annette
Oh but he’s kind, and she’s affable
Oh Kenny he’s really lean
Annette is quite astute, she’s really cute
You know their house looks like it’s Halloween
Kenny and Annette

141011

141011
Older for 11 more months

Tommy is my brother
We have the same mother
We have the same dad too
Our grandma is named Lou
Friday was his birthday
I hope it was okay
His age is 48
I think he’s pretty great

141009

141009
You’re feeling very sl…

I never realized
How much I criticized
I should be hypnotized
To act more civilized

141007

141007
Robot cowboy princes

Every day is game day
‘Cause gamers want to play
Shuffling cards, rolling dice
Pushing pawns, moving mice
From farming to sci fi
No theme in short supply
Zombie ninja wizards
Fighting pirate lizards
Horror to fantasy
It beats watching TV

141005

141005
Annabelle is creepy

She is not swell
Her dress egg shell
She makes me yell
Doll dark and fell
So Annabelle
Should go to hell

141003

141003
Malodorous vomit pancakes

It’s so fucking hot
And the Angels lost again
Eat a bag of shit!

141001

141001
Don’t strain yourself

I think there’s Ebola
On your Coca-Cola
Media lives off fear
Joe Six-Pack drinks a beer
Put down that Ricola
It might have Ebola
Media slavery
Does not want bravery
I’m sure there’s Ebola
On raisin granola
They want you to be scared
Nobody will be spared
Flint to Pensacola
We all have Ebola

140929

140929
Linc freed himself

It’s no joke
Screen was broke
Linc got out
Made us shout
Where’d he go?
Patio

140927

140927
Breathe deep the gathering gloom

Breathe in, breathe out, tense up, relax
Good for the necks, good for the backs
Out through the mouth, in through the nose
Removes your stress from head to toes

140925

140925
Red light
Green light
Red light
Fuck you!

Every red light
No green in sight
Every red light
Try as I might
Every red light
So I turn right
Every red light
Both day and night
Every red light
Knuckles are white
Every red light
My lips I bite
Every red light
Give up the fight
Every red light
Finally no slight
Every red light
I’m home – alright!

140923

140923
And a full house

They wanted kids but had bad odds
Instead of one, they got the quads
The cutest kids you’ll ever find
Tiff and Frank have four of a kind

140921

140921
1 or 2 have been good

What have you done
500 times?
Was it as fun
As my dumb rhymes?

140919

140919
Brave but not free

Scotland might be brave
But it isn’t free
They’ll go to the grave
With a dream to be

140917

140917
Young love is fickle

What happened to our teddy bears?
It’s like nobody even cares
The things we loved when we were small
Are in a closet down the hall

140915

140915
Good luck B & R

Big changes today for our news
Won’t matter if we don’t get views
I’m sure Bianca will be great
And Rafa’s gonna be first rate
But will our viewers ever know
‘Cause we forgot our new promo

140913

140913
Thanks Tom & Penny!

We got to hang with Tom Jolly
Played a lot of games by golly
Sailed from India to This Town
Builders until the sun went down
Discworld: Ankh-Morpork we enjoyed
In game theory I got destroyed
Penny BBQ’d our dinner
Flame broiled pizza was a winner
Sipping cider; eating a slice
Played Istanbul once and then twice
What a fun party to attend
A scorpion signaled the end
We packed our games into a box
On the way home we saw a fox

140911

140911
47 thanks to you

Thank you for your birthday wishes
The fun is done
The food was good
Now it’s time to wash the dishes

140909

140909
9/9 is pretty fine

Greetings from the Central Coast
Thank you for your birthday post
’twas two score and seven years
Doctor grabbed me by the ears
Mom bore down, doc gave a yank
Then the doc gave me a spank
Though my beard is going gray
Seems like it was yesterday

140907

140907
Please don’t wink

When I drink
I get pink
Past the brink
Hurl in sink
Make’s a stink
Home I slink
Didn’t think
Shouldn’t drink

140905

140905
What the frak?

My gaming friends came by tonight
To start it off we had a bite
We played one game of Battlestar
The humans won by moving far
I’ve not been Cylon in the past
And though we lost, it was a blast

140903

140903
1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3

This isn’t just affecting me
I know we all have OCD
It’s not just washing hands and such
It’s also counting things too much
Having pets might be rewarding
But 12 cats might mean you’re hoarding
Having a daily ritual
Is fine if not habitual
If your actions are excessive
If your feelings are obsessive
If your worries won’t go away
Your OCD is here to stay

140901

140901
Holy grail of birthday months

Let me get this off my chest
This might help if you are stressed
There’s no need to be depressed
Since my birthday is the best
Come with me and be my guest
Join me on this crazy quest
Welcome to Septemberfest!

140831

140831
Snack attack

Popcorn is a treat
Unless it’s stuck in your teeth
Then it causes woe

140829

140829
It could be worse

Remember a long time ago
We met R2 and 3PO
Obi Wan had a bad feeling
Lando did some double dealing
We all know Han took the first shot
As Yoda said, “Do or do not”
He also said, “There is no try”
Important words for a Jedi
Vader sent Ben to his defeat
And now the circle is complete
Luke’s upside down in an ice cave
Leia looks hot dressed as a slave
My armor doesn’t look like Fett’s
I think I have Star Wars Tourette’s

Author: tkpope