Author: tkpope

141217

141217
Season’s greetings from Arkham

Oh Cthulhu, Oh Cthulhu!
Thy tentacles are moving
Oh Cthulhu, Oh Cthulhu!
Thy tentacles are moving
Your green appendages are near,
You bring about such dread and fear
Oh Cthulhu, Oh Cthulhu!
Thy tentacles are moving!

141215

141215
Flat tire fairy came twice

Another flat tire
There goes my entire
Christmas fund
With only fifty cents
I cannot buy presents
I’ll be shunned
Nothing for my family
No gifts under the tree
Or in socks
Though my wallet is lean
Doesn’t matter to Jean
My wife rocks

141209

141209
To health in a handbasket

The POTUS on Stephen Colbert
Talking about Obamacare
He did a segment – The Decree
That gave the Nation so much glee
One thing he said sure was neato
He’s not scared to use the veto
Why would the prez want to amuse?
Because the kids don’t watch the news

141207

141207
It’s beginning to look a lot like Santa Maria

There is a cute house on East Cook Street
There ain’t no sugar, but it looks sweet
A buck, doe and fawn
Decorate the lawn
And lights on the roof that look real neat

141205

141205
Read in Morgan Freeman’s voice

You feel it in your heart
You feel it in your feet
You really need to fart
Afraid you’ll stain the sheet
You take a breath of air
And clench your muscles tight
You squeeze it out with care
But hold with all your might
It makes a squelching blast
Your heart is filled with dread
You let it out too fast
You’ve gone and shit the bed

141203

141203
1 in 68 American kids

Autistics aren’t deaf, dumb and blind
But each one is one-of-a-kind
Sometimes they stack or group their toys
Or show distress when near loud noise
Compulsion and repetition
Lack of facial recognition
Though stars made it a sensation
It’s not caused by vaccination
The only thing that can be cured
Is stop using the mean R-word

141201

141201
RIP Nancy #GKG

Whether you’re old or if you’re young
If you’re low key, or too high strung
If you don’t want to lose your hair
Then take this as your Cancer scare
It affects cops and math teachers
Pilots, plumbers, priests and preachers
Chicks with hooters or flat chested
Men with balls should all get tested
It doesn’t care if you’re a star
Or if you train for CPR
Even if you’re a tap dancer
We should all say FUCK YOU CANCER!

141129

141129
The geek awakens

The Star Wars trailer is a tease
But frame by frame this geek will freeze
A stormtrooper on Tattooine
Then a ball droid in the next scene
More stormtroopers upon a ship
A girl giving someone the slip
Rebel pilot flies an X-wing
More lens flare from the lens flare king
The lightsaber is red, not blue
And then my favorite music cue
The freaking Falcon flies again!
As teases go, this one’s a ten

141125

141125
Open your damn eyes!

This country should be indicted
The legal system is blighted
Powers that be are shortsighted
What is wrong needs to be righted
Many sparks have been ignited
Everyone should be invited
And we all must stand united
Don’t let this go unrequited

141123

141123
20-38 is great

I will worry the week before
Worried until the final score
No need to worry anymore
Hundley’s first pass made me go numb
But then he made $c look dumb
The Bruins beat the Trojan scum
The week began with hope and fear
And then we beat a foe so near
We keep the bell another year!

141117

141117
Paint the Rose Bowl blue

I hope Hundley and the offense
Choose not to make the game so tense
They should score often and early
Putting up points hurly burly
I hope that the Mighty Bruins
Can leave Southern Cal in ruins
That’d be a heck of a show
Here’s hoping for three in a row

141113

141113
Bald on top but furry all over

If on top they’re bald or thinning
It’s a battle they’re not winning
If their forehead is a five head
When they blush, it all turns bright red
Remember they didn’t choose it
Rarely do they want to lose it
Avoid pointing and do not stare
It’s not their fault they have no hair

141111

141111
Thanks for serving

This day honors those who serve
It’s a privilege they deserve
To protect the USA
We all get a holiday
So we drove around to see
The greatness of our country
We saw nature – oh the feels
Zebras and elephants seals
Hawks and Canadian Geese
A beautiful world at peace
I feel like I’m in heaven
This day goes to eleven

141107

141107
HTK!

I’m proud to be a Hufferd Taught Kid
Senior Film is the best thing he did
Film cameras and a splicing machine
Our High School Yearbook on the big screen
Teacher and coach for Debate and Speech
We battled against schools near the beach
In English we learned of Ambrose Bierce
Huff and my dad once threw back some beers
Teacher, coach, leader, mentor and friend
He’s taken a spill, he needs to mend
So get well soon Huff, I say this loud
I’m a Hufferd taught kid, and I’m proud

141029

141029
They’re scary cute

Here’s a tale that’s kind of spooky
We see ghosts that look like Mookie
And the phantoms sing a chorus
That remind us of ol’ Morris
The specters are pretty funky
They’re not impressed, just like Monkee
Our old kitties haunt us somehow
We get goosebumps when they meow

141027

141027
Rest in pieces Bob

Cannibals eat
Your hands and feet
A sloppy Joe
And your big toe
They’d be in luck
to get ground Chuck
Frank in a bun
Sure would be fun
But crab Louie
Is too chewy
Their favorite food
Is roasted dude,
Corn on the cob,
And leg of Bob

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