Tag: Sports

171104

171104
We are family

White House is a huge disgrace
Jizztrumpet is in our face
Hollywood is showing warts
Nothing good in world of sports
Ragnarok is doing well
Breast cancer can go to hell
But I do not give a damn
I’m just hanging with the fam

160805

160805
Olympic torch the whole city

Today it starts – the games of Rio
The athletes say it smells like pee-oh
It isn’t safe, the pipes are leaky
The hackers are steadfast and sneaky
If that’s not all, you might get zika
If you get cozy with that chica
The food might give you salmonella
Powerful gangs run the favela
Children and drugs are what they peddle
All this to win a shiny medal

150821

150821
12-16 weeks, then see ya!

Gonna get me a passport
Gonna make me a citizen
Gonna sell the old escort
Gonna stop watching CNN
I’m gonna get me a passport
Moving to my father’s land
I’m gonna start watching the sport
Where they do not use their hand

141101

141101
Happy 73 dad!

Happy birthday dad
Since I was a lad
You’ve been pretty rad
Even when I’m bad
You don’t get too mad
Happy birthday dad

140613

140613
Your Los Angeles Kings

The Rangers proved that they were tough
Sixty minutes was not enough
There was no time to catch their breath
This game would end in sudden death
In overtime, while tied at two
Neither team could get the puck through
Which meant a second overtime
Playoff hockey is so sublime
It was time for the Kings to go
And finish off this icy show
Quick was able to plug the hole
Martinez got the winning goal
Dustin Brown raised Lord Stanley’s cup
And now the Kings will whoop it up

140609

140609
No free hockey tonight #GKG

The Kings rule, and the Rangers blow
These aren’t the Kings I used to know
Justin Williams is their big toe
Kopitar is a total pro
The Kings have won three-in-a-row
In overtime – man, what a show!
I want them to be up three-oh
That’s why I’m yelling – Go Kings Go!

140601

140601
Go Kings Go!

It’s overtime in game seven
It’s go home or go to heaven
Tyler Toffoli’s deflection
Gives this Kings fan an erection
The Blackhawks put on a good show
But not good enough – Go Kings Go!

140513

140513
STFU Donald!

There once was a racist named Sterling
The rumors had always been swirling
V got an assist
When Magic was dissed
And that got the media whirling

140117

140117
Just say nyet!

There are those that are gluten-free
But the world should be Putin-free
He’s as bad as Josef Stalin
Russia’s status is free-fallin’
They are hosting the winter games
While his speeches are fanning flames
His views are as thick as a brick
Vladimir Putin – you’re a dick!

140105

140105
Just like football clap-clap clap-clap-clap

In NCAA sports
The Bruins come to play
With balls of all sorts
Blue and gold rules LA
From the hills of Westwood
Over to the Rose Bowl
Even in $C’s hood
You can hear their bell toll
While the Bruins have flown
110 banners
$c Trojans condone
Douchebags and spray tanners

1226

1226
Gloves are 50% off too

Boxing day has nothing to do
With pugilists or people who
Punch your face or get into fights
It’s about presenting delights
To folks who need to get a break
We should all give more than we take

1225

1225
Did you get it?

Did you get a Barbie doll?
Did you get a basketball?
Did you get a brand new car?
Did you get a steel guitar?
Did you get that fun new game?
Did you get a picture frame?
Did you get a gold iPhone?
Did you get some sweet cologne?
Did you get the xbox one?
Did you get a BB gun?
Did you get a racing bike?
Did you get that thing you like?
Did you get a choo choo train?
Did you get a golden chain?
Did you get a chia pet?
Did you get a clarinet?
As we eat our Christmas spread
Think of those without a bed
There are folks that just want life
For their brother or their wife
There are kids out in the street
Looking for a scrap to eat
Is there something you can do
To help make these dreams come true?

0915

0915
Stung like a bee

Sonny Liston
By Cassius Clay

Clay comes out to meet Liston and Liston starts to retreat,
if Liston goes back an inch farther he’ll end up in a ringside seat.
Clay swings with his left, Clay swings with his right,
Look at young Cassius carry the fight
Liston keeps backing, but there’s not enough room,
It’s a matter of time till Clay lowers the boom.
Now Clay lands with a right, what a beautiful swing,
And the punch raises the Bear clean out of the ring.
Liston is still rising and the ref wears a frown,
For he can’t start counting till Sonny goes down.
Now Liston is disappearing from view, the crowd is going frantic,
But radar stations have picked him up, somewhere over the Atlantic.
Who would have thought when they came to the fight?
That they’d witness the launching of a human satellite.
Yes the crowd did not dream, when they put up the money,
That they would see a total eclipse of the Sonny.