190925

190925
How do you like them apples?

Today I think I’m gonna try
To bake some apples in a pie
The fruit was grown for Sweetie Pea
I know it will taste good to me

190920

190920
She got a little wider

One Friday while drinking a cider
A knock at the door was a spider
She first swallowed me
Then Linc and Brownie
Then all of us lived there inside her

190916

190916
I love them both

Brownie loves food and naps and walks
And he loves sticks and balls and rocks
Linc Loves Linc
Brownie loves shoes and coats and hats
And he loves birds and dogs and cats
Linc Loves Linc
Brownie loves him and them and her
And he loves smiles and tails and fur
Linc loves Linc
Brownie loves strong and sweet and stink
And he loves you and me and Linc
Linc Loves Linc

190909

190909
So blow out the candles and have a piece of cake!

It’s my day of birth, but I ain’t new
Like a deck of cards I’m 52
To my Sweetie Pea I’m Sugar Pooh
I did not move here to eat lamb stew
Count ABC’s twice to get my age
I’m like a tiger trapped in a cage
But maybe this year I’ll turn the page
They say 50 plus is such a rage
Took 52 years to get this far
I walk everywhere ’cause I’ve no car
And my birthday wish is so bizarre
But I want to be a viral star
With my rocking rhymes that have such flair
Plus drawings of Linc and Brownie Bear
Since we’re Facebook friends, I know you care
So please do your part and click on “share”

190828

190828
Ate legs good – eight legs bad

Creepy crawly – big and hairy
Eight legs skitter – really scary
Thought it might attack my kitty
Or cause havoc in the city
Then it bolted into laundry
Which causes this queasy quandary
Should the pile go in the drier
Or just set the house on fire?

190814

190814
Different seasons

August has AU
Autumn has AU also
August is autumn

190807

190807
Self employed blues

I work from home in my underpants
With Brownie and Linc, I sometimes dance
And once in a while, I’ll do some work
Pay’s ok, but the boss is a jerk

190603

190603
Enter Sandman

I’m tired and I want to sleep
I throw my clothes onto the heap
I slide into my nice, soft bed
A pillow cradles my big head
At last an ending to this day
I shut my eyes and drift away

190419

190419
Immaculate perception

I cleaned the house because it’s Spring
I scrubbed the floors and everything
I dusted here, I dusted there
I found a ton of Brownie hair
I washed the dishes in the sink
I picked up after little Linc
I swept so hard my fingers bled
And now it’s time to go to bed

190415

190415
Be thankful I don’t take it all

Please do not laugh, this isn’t funny
At breakfast time my eggs were runny
Brownie and Linc ate all my honey
It’s raining now, no longer sunny
The taxman came and took my money
Perhaps I’ll eat the Easter bunny

190327

190327
Mope brings external

I will need some hocus-pocus
To regain external focus
It should clearly be worth nothing
Through each day I’m mostly floating
Walk the dog, and feed the kitty
Exercise to keep me pretty
Nothing else seems to be working
Thankfully sunshine is lurking

190222

190222
Human food dispenser

If my Brownie Bear could talk
All he’d say is “Food!” and “Walk!”
If my little Linc could speak
He’d yell, “I NEED FOOD YOU FREAK!”
Glad they can’t articulate
Neverending scorn and hate

190116

190116
From haiku to haikold

Yesterday was mild
Today is fucking freezing
Typically Irish

190114

190114
They don’t like Mondays

Linc is yelling and screaming and shouting
Brownie Bear wants a walk and is pouting
It’s my first day off in so many weeks
But my night is shot because of these freaks

190111

190111
Dog and catnap

I found some time to take a nap
Dog on my left, cat in my lap
I have been on a busy streak
Fastest five minutes of the week

181228

181228
Last limerick of 2018

The end of the year is forthcoming
The constant bad news is quite numbing
So lie yourselves down
And both go to town
And try 69 with some humming

181226

181226
Happy Stephen’s Day

Thank you for helping
Make Kilkenny my new home
Go raibh maith agat

181217

181217
That might be their plan

When I am sick, my pets don’t care
I need to walk my Brownie Bear
And Linc will yell until he’s fed
They’ll eat my corpse when I am dead

181205

181205
Twinkle twinkle little Linc

I thought I got the tree for me
But little Linc thinks differently
A star should sit upon the peak
But that’s where Linc decides to sneak

180917

180917
I quite wish they would quit and be quiet

I don’t like the shouting
It causes self-doubting
The fighting and screaming
Is far from redeeming
Step back from the violence
And enjoy the silence

180903

180903
50 years 360 days

Soon year fifty will be no more
I’ll add a one to my age score
This crazy span is almost done
And then I will be fifty-one

180730

180730
He shan’t do that again

Woke last night to quite a scare
Something riled up Brownie bear
Went downstairs to scrutinize
And could not believe my eyes
Little Linc was moaning low
He had stuck his pinky toe
In the radiator grill
Underneath the window sill
He was hanging upside down
Front paws couldn’t touch the ground
Don’t know how long he was there
Flailing, mewling in the air
Picked him up and set him free
Linc collapsed upon my knee
We had gotten such a fright
That we slept all day and night

180718

180718
Lazy days of Summer

Though it’s barely one
Linc lays in the sun
Brownie’s in my lap
Guess we need a nap

180716

180716
It’s chaos, be kind

It’s getting close to one year gone
I’ve moved away but not moved on
To all the friends I left behind
You all should know, you’re on my mind
I’ve made mistakes both here and there
But with Linc’s help and Brownie Bear
I’ll make it through each day and night
To one year since we lost Jean Wright

180604

180604
Happy 50th SP! ❤

Happy birthday Sweetie Pea
Wish that you were here with me
In our house in Kilkenny
I’ll love you eternally

180514

180514
Slán mo chairde

Today I leave the USA
For Ireland where skies are grey
And while I leave loved ones behind
I had to leave or lose my mind
I miss my Sweetie Pea so much
I miss her smile, her laugh, her touch
So, I must go and start anew
I’m bringing Linc and Brownie too
We’ll settle there and start a life
Without my fucking awesome wife
I hope this works, my fingers crossed
This mental move comes at a cost
Emotional – financial too
And yet I must still bid adieu
The Emerald Isle is not that far
I guess I should say au revoir

180511

180511
This week has been rough

The vet has gone and screwed the pooch
I gotta find an ass to smooch
I feel like I’ve been helped by none
I will be glad when this is done

180509

180509
Having pets is not cheap

I drove real far so we can fly
I had to see my money guy
No matter how much dough is lost
Brownie and Linc are worth the cost

180418

180418
They’re at Hotel MomNDad

My two pets got left behind
Brownie didn’t seem to mind
As he shredded up the drape
Linc made plans for his escape
Leaving them doth make me swoon
I’ll be back to get them soon

180416

180416
Something something something cocks!

Though his head is filled with rocks
Brownie likes to go for walks
Sometimes we will march for blocks
While Linc sits atop a box

180330

180330
Traffic was not good this Friday

That was a long drive
Goodbye Santa Maria
Hello Buena Park

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