Poems and/or Drawings about Holidays.
160831
Let’s have a ball for summerall
Though fall is still three weeks away
Summer concludes on Labor Day
The calendar may not agree
But brand new shows are on TV
School has returned and football too
We have a chance for something new
Between breakfast and midday lunch
Someone created champagne brunch
So after summer, before fall
We should declare a “summerall”
And just like brunch we drink champagne
While summer bods are on the wane
160704
Have a quiet 4th
I do not think the fourth is fun
When all the booms sound like a gun
We honor soldiers from the war
By scaring them a little more
They suffer from PTSD
To them these blasts do not bring glee
Our furry friends don’t like the bangs
They run away and join wild gangs
So think about the flash and noise
That’s made by men who act like boys
160504
May the 4th be with you
There once was a man named Darth Vader
Who built a golden robot traitor
A long time ago
He made 3PO
Who turned his back on his creator
160420
He should have got high
24 states think pot’s legit
The other states are full of shit
Tricky Dick said there’s no good use
The war on drugs needs a toke truce
Just think of what the states could do
With all that weed tax revenue
It should be dropped from number one
For patient use or just for fun
160401
International Trump day
Brownie and Raven are good dogs
On weekends, we go riding hogs
I want to move to the UK
I want to work all night and day
Trojans and Yankees are my faves
Olives and mushrooms are my craves
Corned Beef is the best Irish food
That Kanye West is one cool dude
I like DC more than Marvel
I like life forms that were larval
The best rock group is Fleetwood Mac
My life is planned by zodiac
Tom Cruise told me about Xenu
It fits right in with my world view
As president, Trump has the tools
If you believe this – April Fools!
160325
I hope it doesn’t take 3 days
It will be good Friday when I’m still in bed
With a gorgeous woman who loves giving head
Like the zombie savior eating his twelve men
It will be great Friday when I rise again
160316
Green beer is for sasanaigh
Put on your green, and raise your beer
At last, St. Patrick’s Day is here!
I’ll speak about the Emerald Isle
And you might end up with a smile
Pull up a chair, and sit right down
We love the craic and hate the crown
We like our food boiled in a pot
Cabbage is good, corned beef is not
Only three leaves on a shamrock
The trunk’s a boot; a lake’s a lough
Jumpers are worn when it’s fierce cold
It’s always fierce the truth be told
The coffee might contain Baileys
To warm you up before céilÃs
Of course you know, we love our beer
But if it’s green, get out of here!
160302
Green beer no – green shake yes
Now that February’s gone
March is here and marching on
Highlight is St. Paddy’s Day
Shamrock shake and fish filet
Make sure to avoid green beer
Won’t be long till April’s here
160101
Good start to the year
2015 is gone
We wake up with a yawn
Many hours past dawn
As the morning drags on
Twilight Zone Marathon
New Year for Jean and Sean
151230
So long 2015!
2016 is almost here
It’s time to look back on the year
In Paris there were two attacks
White lives don’t matter less than blacks
ISIS proceeds to terrorize
And mass shootings are on the rise
Another Bush; Trump wants a wall
The Right has no one good at all
Glad Star Wars fans around the block
Sad Star Trek fans lost Mr. Spock
Australia was a lot of fun
Then Jean and I toured Hobbiton
Later we lost Eugene and Lou
But now there’s one more thing to do
So raise your glass and give a cheer
It’s time to say, “Happy New Year!”
151225
Tiny Tim like Xmas poem
I have no time
To make a rhyme
I hope those deer
Are warm and near
151221
Return of the spoilers
Star Wars fans got Christmas early
The new Jedi’s kind of girlie
The Falcon and Luke’s lightsaber
Made me cheer and nudge my neighbor
Han and Chewie shooting bad guys
I won’t spoil the biggest surprise
From Finn to Poe to BB-8
I think the movie’s pretty great
151125
Nobody’s business but the Turks
Su-24
Flies too close, and gets shot down
Happy Turkey Day
151109
There’s no war on Christmas
Excessive fuss for a red cup
Those noisemakers should just shut up
When it’s a solo filled with beer
There are no gripes ’bout Christmas cheer
They whine and moan; it’s so misplaced
That energy is such a waste
They worry ’bout coffee that’s spiced
When they don’t ever act like Christ
151030
Happy Halloween Eve!
I am a pope, and Jean’s a nun
Brownie’s a cop without a gun
Raven’s a freaking astronaut
Linc isn’t cool with what he’s got
We may not have scary costumes
But as the kids ride witches brooms
To our front door to get their treat
Our neighbors must accept defeat
We have the best house on the block
And Charlie Brown still got a rock
151028
Boris sent me
Vampires give a fright
Because they might bite
The poor ol’ mummy
His wardrobe’s crummy
Zombies don’t like grains
They’d rather eat brains
Invisible Man?
I’m not a big fan
Wolf man is scary
He’s so damn hairy
The Overlook’s ghost
Is not a good host
The creature has gills
He gives me the chills
I do not like ghouls
They’re grave robbing fools
Doc Victor is mean
His lab is not clean
His monster is green
He hates Halloween!
150703
Have a safe and sane 4th
Bang! Happy Independence Day
Bang! Another dog runs away
Bang! Barbecuing in the park
Bang! Soldiers shaking in the dark
Bang! Bottle rocket, cherry bomb
Bang! Suddenly they’re back in ‘Nam
Bang! Before you light any more
Bang! Think about the folks next door
150619
Death by loud noises
The smoke alarm gives off small chirps
It wakes up Raven, and she “yerps”
She gets so scared from certain sounds
And then she bays like twenty hounds
The worst noises are fireworks
Set off at night by thoughtless jerks
Soon it will be 4th of July
This might kill her, and that’s no lie
150504
And also with you
If you know Han shot first
And that Jar Jar’s the worst
If your love tells you so
And you just say, “I know”
If you drink milk that’s blue
May the Fourth be with you
150401
A hot foot is a cold caper
Here are some rules
For April Fools
Know who to jape
Don’t scare an ape
Know what to joke
No death or stroke
Know where to prank
Don’t kid a bank
Know why to fool
Don’t be a tool
Know how to trick
Master the slick
Know when to jest
You’ll be the best
150218
Eat ice cream for breakfast day
Ice cream for breakfast; ice cream for lunch
Ice cream for dinner; eat it with punch
Ice cream for dessert; ice cream all day
Ice cream will affect how much you weigh
Ice cream for parties; ice cream all night
To help cancer kids, let’s have a bite!
150213
Black cats are slimming
On a Friday, in Kentucky
Thirteen black cats are unlucky
Farmer Brown could not be fatter
So he fell off of his ladder
Safely indoors the poor fella
Opened up a plaid umbrella
Then his daughter broke a mirror
As the black cats skittered nearer
Unaware of superstitions
They were shot with Brown’s munitions
Poor black cats they only wanted
To warn that the house was haunted
150105
Still time to be resolute
The lights are gone, the tree is down
Can’t spend the day in a nightgown
It’s back to the same old routine
Unless you’re a king or a queen
It’s back to work or back to school
No more time to act like a fool
Get off the couch, put down the beer
Let’s exercise in the new year!
141231
Let’s do better in 2015!
The year comes to its fated end
A good night to spend with a friend
As you plan your resolution
Consider your contribution
Stop drinking beer, and cut your hair
Lose twenty pounds, I just don’t care
Those goals are nice but selfish too
Do something that’s not just for you
Share the planet, and save the bees
Pledge your money to cure disease
Eat local foods, and plant a tree
Don’t fight too much, try to agree
Make your city a better place
Do something for the human race
What will I do to save the Earth?
I’ll cover it with smiles and mirth
As we bid this year adieu
Do as I say, not as I do
141225
Merry Christmas from sunny California
I gave myself a gift this year
I didn’t drink a keg of beer
I didn’t buy a box of games
I didn’t dance with dusky dames
I didn’t buy a brand new car
I didn’t travel to a star
I didn’t buy a motorbike
I gave myself a Christmas hike
141223
Don’t rain blows upon him
Christmas Eve Eve is Festivus
Party time for the rest of us
If you’re with thousands at the mall
Trying to find your son a doll
Those feats of strength would cause despair
You would have grievances to air
Don’t worry ’bout that lump of coal
Just do like us and raise the pole
141219
Gotta take a Kim Jung-Un
When I think of my Sweetie Pea
It’s like I’m on a tranquil sea
When I think of the holidays
My wallet needs a big fat raise
When I think of my dearest friends
To me they prove that they’re all tens
When I think of North Korea
I suffer from diarrhea
