Tag: Holidays

190102

190102
Crappy New Year

Some years start off with a bang
Drinking champagne with the gang
Others start off kind of slow
Clean forgot by all you know
Being sick removes all cheer
When you have been sick all year

181226

181226
Happy Stephen’s Day

Thank you for helping
Make Kilkenny my new home
Go raibh maith agat

I wish all days were Christmas Eve
The time of year when we believe
That someday we’ll get peace on earth
And everyone is full of mirth
When kitchens are chock-full of food
And Christmas punch can fix your mood
There’s so much fun, no one will leave
I wish all days were Christmas Eve

181221

181221
He went down on history

A crimson-nosed reindeer named Rudy
A loner, both sullen and moody
When he was depressed
What made him feel best
Was dressing like Cher, Madge and Judy

181214

181214
Be more than one flavor

There once was a fella named Santa
Who scored whores in downtown Atlanta
While giving him head
A toothless one said
“His jism tastes just like grape Fanta!”

181205

181205
Twinkle twinkle little Linc

I thought I got the tree for me
But little Linc thinks differently
A star should sit upon the peak
But that’s where Linc decides to sneak

181031

181031
Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me

While I’m handing out the candy
Rocky Horror makes me randy
Sweets and treats for all the kiddies
As I stare at Janet’s titties

180413

180413
Where is our “Thank you America?”

Friday the thirteenth
Unlucky for Syria
Perhaps the whole world

180330

180330
Traffic was not good this Friday

That was a long drive
Goodbye Santa Maria
Hello Buena Park

180214

180214
She cho-cho-chose me!

Friday night – a twist of fate
We met on a crazy date
She gave me a better life
I asked her to be my wife
I am hers, and she is mine
My forever valentine
Nine short years went by too fast
Our true love was meant to last
My lover and my best friend
Cancer got her in the end
I am hers, and she is mine
My forever valentine
I miss her all night and day
Feeling pain in every way
Sweetie Pea will always be
In my heart eternally
I am hers, and she is mine
My forever valentine

171223

171223
Or whatever you celebrate

Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas – peace to all
And Happy New Year

171220

171220
All for me!

When I’m longing for Jean’s presence
I go shopping and buy presents
Just for me and not for sharing
I am great at my self caring

171206

171206
Or maybe the next day

Hard to be festive and merry
When the world is fucking scary
Though there’s pain and utter sorrow
I will be cheery tomorrow

171202

171202
My favorite time of year

Tree and lights are up
Shopping and parties begin
Christmastime is here

171122

171122
Thank you Jelly Moo <3

The thing I’m thankful for this fall
Is getting to know Jean at all
I’m grateful that we got to meet
Together we were both complete
We pledged our love for our lifespan
And she made me a better man
My Sweetie Pea and my best friend
My love for Jean will never end

171018

171018
You’re my boo

Halloween is drawing near
Soon will be the time for fear
Through the thrift stores I do tear
Gotta find something to wear!

170703

170703
Happy fucking Fourth of July

On this sad 4th of July
The Jizztrumpet makes me cry
He shows allies no respect
World wide image is now wrecked
Presidential he is not
Melting down our melting pot
Every tweet’s a dis or brag
It’s like shitting on the flag
Though we beg, urge and beseech
GOP will not impeach
While you eat your barbecue
The POTUS is fucking you

170605

170605
Everybody spread the word

Last weekend we did celebrate
Jean’s fond farewell to forty-eight
We drove up north to watch a play
And spent the night in Morro Bay
The drive was smooth, the weather fine
We ate good food and drank great wine
So many friends to hang out with
To honor her this June the Fifth
She’s so awesome, I have to say
We should make this a holiday

170414

170414
Technically he was a lich

Hiding eggs behind tomatoes
Lamb and ham and cheese potatoes
Peeps and candy bunnies please us
All because of Zombie Jesus

170317

170317
Throat punch for Patty

Every Irish lass and laddie
Knows today is all for Paddy
From Clonmel to Cincinnati
They’ll punch you if you say Patty

170315

170315
I’m a leprechaun artist

St. Paddy’s day – you can’t escape
Just two more days to get in shape
You’ll eat and drink till you’re a sphere
But please don’t drink green, fucking beer

170301

170301
Sacrifice? Or getting ready for summer?

If you have an ashen smudge
And you’ve given up sweet fudge
‘Cause your goal is losing pudge
Do you think your god will judge?

161223

161223
My Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa wish too

I have one wish this Festivus
For Jean to be as well as us
Maybe more well than Dave the drunk
His muddled head’s missing a chunk
And way better than fatso Fred
He’s one donut away from dead
And don’t forget ol’ smelly Sue
She stinks worse than a pile of poo
My wish for Jean this Festivus –
Better health than the rest of us!