Tag: Calendars

211124

211124
A yank’s thanks

I’m often asked, since I’m away
How do I spend Thanksgiving Day?
I do not have a big turkey
No stuffing, yams nor cranberry
I do not have my family here
No football games to watch and cheer
I kind of think, most displaced yanks
Just look around and give their thanks
That’s not to say I do not miss
A feast worthy of a chef’s kiss
Or seeing mom or Tom or dad
Of course those things do make me sad
But this is where my feet did roam
I’m in my new forever home
Although it’s far from you to me
I’m just right where I want to be

211115

211115
The brownest month

The leaves have fallen
And Brownie’s poo is steaming
Must be November

211011

211011
Pumpkin pawing period

October can be hideous
When ghosts and goblins pity us
Be sure to make the pixies proud
By showing them you are endowed
With mighty gourds and giant squash
They’ll love your swagger and panache
So go and grab that orange butt
But wait to make the deepest cut

210913

210913
Curable curse

The Mayo lads have lost again
Some say it is a curse
The crime committed by those men?
Not stopping for a hearse
In ’51 the jinx was cast
And only one remains
The rest are gone, he is the last
To rid Mayo of pains
But Dr. Mick is not to blame
For chances that were missed
Next year they’ll need to work on aim
And then Sam will be kissed

210906

210906
Wish you were here

It’s time to celebrate your birth
A trip around the sun from Earth
It’s time for posts from friends and kin
And getting drunk with bathtub gin
I hope you get to raise some hell
And barring that, I hope it’s swell
So lift your glass and give a cheer
You’ve made it through another year!

210903

210903
Mayo for Sam!

The folks in Mayo have the reek
Some people climb it every week
They pray to god and kill a lamb
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

Sligo and Leitrim both were beat
The tribesmen soon met their defeat
They told those Dublin lads to scram
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

In Westport there is red and green
The likes of which are rarely seen
Though Galway might not give a damn
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

It’s been a long time since they’ve won
The last time – 1951
They’ll prove the curse was just a sham
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

210818

210818
Bad poetry day

To some folks, my poems are shitty
They’re rude, vile and stupid – not witty
They say that my drawings ain’t pretty
More worthy of scorn, not your pity
It’s fine that some find it offensive
I used to get moody and pensive
Then lash out because I’m defensive
My therapy bills were expensive
But now when my poems are hated
I won’t feel so low and deflated
The reason I’m now liberated?
Bad poetry is celebrated!

210813

210813
Don’t tell them it’s Friday the 13th

Today’s all about reinstatement
Q’s furor is an understatement
Though seven months late
It’s well worth the wait
To celebrate their overweight gent

210726

210726
The days between

Five days of reflection
With intense affection
For my one and only
While I’m feeling lonely
Sunday was the first date
Thursday is the worst date
Sunday I romance her
Thursday – fucking cancer
Even though it’s four years
This week still brings more tears
Will it dwindle? Never
Sweetie Pea forever!

210721

210721
There ain’t no cure for the summertime blues

Therapy day – therapy day
I always feel better on therapy day
My cheeks are much wetter on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I talk about issues on therapy day
I fly through the tissues on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I wallow in sadness on therapy day
I tamp down the madness on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I don’t talk about you on therapy day
I just talk about you on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I weird laugh and gross cry on therapy day
I can’t wait to have my next therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day

210707

210707
Now the real fireworks start!

For the next four months
Gird your loins and prepare for
Passels of pumpkins!

210623

210623
Nap lap trap

Linc nestles into my lap
Just so he can take a nap
As the hours fly on by
I might be stuck here till July

210602

210602
Happy Pride 2021!!!!!!!!!

I love the gays, I love the bis
I love the queers of every size
I love all types of lesbians
Especially my gamer friends
I love the trans and aces too
I love the pans and they love you
I did not always think this way
I thought it weird if you were gay
I used to yell such horrid names
And then I learned my brother James
Was gay and so were all his friends
I’ve done my best to make amends
I love all love in all its forms
And if this is against your norms
Then I won’t wait to disavow
I’m proud to be an ally now

210412

210412
The flowers are underwater

An Irish April
The perfunctory showers
Will bring May showers

210405

210405
Show me your vax pix

I see so many vax pix
Each one I see gets my clicks
I also want a vax pic
But vax roll out is not quick
I will not get the vax soon
I won’t get it before June
It might take till September
Or god forbid December
I want to get a vax pic
I do not want to get sick

210329

210329
I don’t like Mondays

Today is so Monday
It just isn’t fun day
It might make me cry day
I wish it were Friday

201230

201230
It’s a trap!

2020 sucked
Help us 2021
You’re our only hope

201228

201228
I thought the day would never come

This year needs a fucking conclusion
Impeached due to Russian collusion
Then masks that cause facial contusion
We’ve all suffered from forced seclusion
We can’t have a big celebration
But one thing will bring jubilation
And comfort to every nation…
Spontaneous ejaculation!!!

201223

201223
Seinfeld >>> Friends

It’s Christmas Eve Eve
Also known as Festivus
Thanks 90’s TV

201221

201221
It’s raining deer – Merry Christmas

This has been a shitty year
So to bring some festive cheer
Brownie, Linc and I have gear
Wearing antlers like reindeer
Do they look good? I can’t tell
My yoke has a little bell
Brownie’s antlers look real swell
Linc thinks I should go to hell

201207

201207
All the twos – quack quack

Monday night bingo
The bane of my existence
Gets my through lockdown

201030

201030
Crappy Halloween

Trick or treat
Smell my feet
2020 is not sweet
Treat or trick
Suck my dick
2020 makes me sick

200914

200914
Art imitates art

Open my journal
And I write, “Dear Diary
Fuck 2020!”

200904

200904
Thousand-of-kind

It’s time for your annual partay
I wish I could be at your soirée
To prove that I care
This rhyme that is rare
Is only for you on your birthday

200814

200814
Voting in 9 x 9 days!

The Senator Kamala Harris
With Biden – they will not embarrass
The US of A
Which as of today
Is laughed at in Seoul, Rome, and Paris

200810

200810
Sun is best!

Nothing beats a sunny day
Better than the wet and grey
Better than a March with hail
Better than a gusty gale
Better than an April rain
Better than a snowy plain
Better than a windy May
Better than a foggy bay
Better than a gloomy June
Better than the stars and moon
Better than a hot July
Better than a darkened sky
Don’t know what more I can say
Nothing beats a sunny day

200722

200722
The last shall be first and the first last

Twelve years ago this week
I had the best first date
It wasn’t that unique
But man it turned out great
I don’t expect to meet
A clone of my soulmate
But it would sure be sweet
To have my last first date

200703

200703
Yankee Doodle Dickhead

He’s a Yankee Doodle failure
He let so many people die
Coronavirus hasn’t gone away
Here on the Fourth of July
He is our Yankee Doodle nightmare
He’s our Yankee Doodle shit
Yankee Doodle fucked up DC
Just to help his cronies
He is the racist Jizztrumpet

200617

200617
Substantially scuttered

On 29 June
You can drink your pints and eat
€9 Tayto

200518

200518
Phase craze

(18 May)
We’re now in phase one
The phase with no fun
(8 June)
Phase two on June 8
Can visit a mate
(29 June)
And when phase three drops
They’ll open most shops
(20 July)
The next phase is four
We’ll go shore to shore
(10 August)
And lastly phase five
The pubs are alive!!!

200511

200511
Just a little longer

It isn’t over yet
But I am not upset
My parents are still fine
So is that brother mine
I haven’t lost a mate
And though it isn’t great
I know it will be fine
By 2029