201202
He’s a goofball
I caught my tail, so I’m a good boy
I ate the mail, so I’m a good boy
I bark real big, so I’m a good boy
I eat like pig, so I’m a good boy
I chase the cat, so I’m a good boy
I’m getting fat, so I’m a good boy
I sleep all day, so I’m a good boy
I never stay, so I’m a good boy
I shed real bad, so I’m a good boy
I love my dad, so I’m a good boy
201130
Brownie caught his tail
Linc caught a mouse
Inside our house
He did it twice
He caught two mice
He thinks it’s fun
I hope he’s done
201127
I’m living like it’s 6
We can blissfully
Move from 5 to 3
Or ignorantly
Move from 5 to 3
But regardlessly
We’re moving to 3
201125
I’m thankful for this frozen pizza
I set the table – a grand display
The wine is flowing – hors d’oeuvres all day
I have never seen so many sides
Green bean casserole and sprouts besides
Candied yams, macaroni and cheese
Pass the potatoes and gravy please
Hot rolls and butter up the wazoo
I did not forget – cranberries too!
This roast turkey is driving me cray
With it’s intoxicating bouquet
Stuffing with bacon, onion and rye
A whipped cream dollop on pumpkin pie
While pondering festive foods I crave
The timer sounds on the microwave
Awakened from my autumnal trance
These fanciful treats won’t cause expanse
I won’t endure tryptophan syndrome
My Thanksgiving dream away from home
201123
He’s purrrrfect
My Linc is a goof
He’s rarely aloof
That cat is a freak
A flying black streak
As smart as a chimp
That lovable imp
201120
Leomund’s Tiny Hut
Needing a short rest
For his awesome quest
Bingo cast a spell
For a place to dwell
That spell built a hut
For his tiny butt
Then he sang a song
‘Bout his tiny schlong
201116
Burnt Bingo
Jumped by fire elemental
And their treatment wasn’t gentle
Hours later, clothes still smolder
Makes me yearn for a beholder
201113
He hates everything trans
Jizztrumpet has made it his mission
To fuck up Joe Biden’s transition
The fat orange turd
Is crude and absurd
His petulance reeks of sedition
201111
Will ye go lassie go?
The trailer for Wild Mountain Thyme
The accents used might be a crime
The dialog sounds trite and flat
The Irish just don’t sound like that
It’s filled with bad Paddy clichés
Irish reviews will lack of praise
Thyme might be wild upon that hill
But this reeks of Darby O’Gill
201109
Four seasons total landscaping
Joe Biden might be sleepy
But Jizztrumpet is weepy
He’s also super creepy
And just might savor peepee
He’s really good at lying
While so many are dying
Now in his bunker crying
We’ll need Joe’s unifying
201106
Rock’n Me
It’s still a tense nail biter
But things are looking brighter
My expectations widen
Of victory for Biden
This electoral thriller
In honor of Steve Miller
201104
The shithole states
Democracy may not be dead
But most of US still is red
Don’t ask me why it’s not more blue
This whole election stinks of poo
201102
Do the right thing
Voters please don’t let us down
Run that jackass out of town
I’m fed up with dirty tricks
That’s why I want forty-six
201030
Crappy Halloween
Trick or treat
Smell my feet
2020 is not sweet
Treat or trick
Suck my dick
2020 makes me sick
201028
Where are my p̵a̵n̵t̵s masks?
Everything is COVID
Everything is dull, dangerous and obscene
Everything is COVID
Till we get a new vaccine
201026
Our last D&D session
We are gonna kill the monsters
But we didn’t kill the monsters
We are gonna kill the monsters
But we didn’t kill the monsters
We are gonna kill the monsters
But we didn’t kill the monsters
We are gonna kill the monsters
But we didn’t kill the monsters
201023
He grew up to be an FG TD
A young fella in Ballyragget
Saw money and wanted to snag it
Went up to his gran
Snatched right from her hand
She called him a punk and a maggot
201021
Seems fallible to me
“Pope” says gays should have a union
Not sacrament like communion
I think gays should have a marriage
All else is justice miscarriage
The church has never liked the gays
That’s why it is their end of days
Jesus was for love and mercy
Not child-loving controversy
201019
C u next time
If we want to stay alive
It’s six more weeks of level five
But we know that selfish pricks
Will make us go to level six
All because they would not wear
A mask to shield their viral air
Level six is dig your grave
Thanks to the cunts that won’t behave
201016
I didn’t ask how big the room is!
That wizard was part sage part moron
His fireball point blank missed Voron
But back just a bit
We got burned to shit
The rest of us maybe should cop on
201014
They aren’t on the level
They say level three
But they canceled house visits
So we’re really five
201012
All I want to do…
Don’t ever presume
You’ve muted your zoom
That boisterous boom
That’s filling your room
With foul-smelling fume
Could be career doom
201009
Help me mommy!
There once was a human shaped shit pile
Fly landed and then made the shit smile
The shit was Mike Pence
So smug and intense
Fly sorted him into his shit file
201007
Please baby please baby please baby baby baby please
Every night, can’t stop doomscrolling
Covid-19, right-wing trolling
Sanity is slowly slidin’
Need a win from ol’ Joe Biden
201005
O-U-T spells “out”
Lockdown time is here again
Lockdown time is here again
Lockdown time is here again
Lockdown time is here again
Ain’t been ’round since you know when
Lockdown time is here again
201002
Hope they try bleach
The virus that’s bad for angina
Has spread far from Wuhan in China
From a flying mouse
Into the White House
Transported in Hope Hicks’ vagina
200930
He won’t denounce white supremacy!
The Jizztrumpet lets people die
And won’t denounce the racist right
Instead he says, “stand back, stand by”
He proudly made the Proud Boys’ night
200928
Offaly is awful
Midlands driving never a blast
Midlands driving gets old real fast
I drove there once, it’s not for me
So much turf, all I can see
Midland days feckin’ away to oh fuck those Midland drives
Welly, welly, welly boots
Tullamore, Tullamore
Where is Ballinagar?
Tullamore, Tullamore
Athlone or Mullingar?
I drove through there, missed the off ramp
Needed to wee, my pants got damp
I kept driving to Longford town
No luck there, no one around
Midland fun? Never begun oh fuck those Midland drives
Welly, welly, welly boots
Tullamore, Tullamore
Where can you get a bite?
Tullamore, Tullamore
Or a place for the night?
Got to Sligo, the N4 ends
Told the Midlands, we can’t be friends
There and then, I made a vow
Won’t be back, no way no how
Midland trips are all bullshit and fuck those Midland drives
200925
You never forget your first
I once had a girlfriend named Sandy
My memories still makes me randy
With lovely blonde hair
And boobs out to there
She tasted sweet like cotton candy
200923
The pumpkin spice must flow
It’s autumn bitches!
Cooling down, colorful, and
Pumpkin spice for all!
