140927
Breathe deep the gathering gloom
Breathe in, breathe out, tense up, relax
Good for the necks, good for the backs
Out through the mouth, in through the nose
Removes your stress from head to toes
Category: Ridiculous Rhymes
140925
140925
Red light
Green light
Red light
Fuck you!
Every red light
No green in sight
Every red light
Try as I might
Every red light
So I turn right
Every red light
Both day and night
Every red light
Knuckles are white
Every red light
My lips I bite
Every red light
Give up the fight
Every red light
Finally no slight
Every red light
I’m home – alright!
140923
140923
And a full house
They wanted kids but had bad odds
Instead of one, they got the quads
The cutest kids you’ll ever find
Tiff and Frank have four of a kind
140921
140919
140919
Brave but not free
Scotland might be brave
But it isn’t free
They’ll go to the grave
With a dream to be
140917
140917
Young love is fickle
What happened to our teddy bears?
It’s like nobody even cares
The things we loved when we were small
Are in a closet down the hall
140915
140915
Good luck B & R
Big changes today for our news
Won’t matter if we don’t get views
I’m sure Bianca will be great
And Rafa’s gonna be first rate
But will our viewers ever know
‘Cause we forgot our new promo
140913
140913
Thanks Tom & Penny!
We got to hang with Tom Jolly
Played a lot of games by golly
Sailed from India to This Town
Builders until the sun went down
Discworld: Ankh-Morpork we enjoyed
In game theory I got destroyed
Penny BBQ’d our dinner
Flame broiled pizza was a winner
Sipping cider; eating a slice
Played Istanbul once and then twice
What a fun party to attend
A scorpion signaled the end
We packed our games into a box
On the way home we saw a fox
140911
140911
47 thanks to you
Thank you for your birthday wishes
The fun is done
The food was good
Now it’s time to wash the dishes
140909
140909
9/9 is pretty fine
Greetings from the Central Coast
Thank you for your birthday post
’twas two score and seven years
Doctor grabbed me by the ears
Mom bore down, doc gave a yank
Then the doc gave me a spank
Though my beard is going gray
Seems like it was yesterday
140907
140907
Please don’t wink
When I drink
I get pink
Past the brink
Hurl in sink
Make’s a stink
Home I slink
Didn’t think
Shouldn’t drink
140905
140905
What the frak?
My gaming friends came by tonight
To start it off we had a bite
We played one game of Battlestar
The humans won by moving far
I’ve not been Cylon in the past
And though we lost, it was a blast
140903
140903
1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3
This isn’t just affecting me
I know we all have OCD
It’s not just washing hands and such
It’s also counting things too much
Having pets might be rewarding
But 12 cats might mean you’re hoarding
Having a daily ritual
Is fine if not habitual
If your actions are excessive
If your feelings are obsessive
If your worries won’t go away
Your OCD is here to stay
140901
140901
Holy grail of birthday months
Let me get this off my chest
This might help if you are stressed
There’s no need to be depressed
Since my birthday is the best
Come with me and be my guest
Join me on this crazy quest
Welcome to Septemberfest!
140829
140829
It could be worse
Remember a long time ago
We met R2 and 3PO
Obi Wan had a bad feeling
Lando did some double dealing
We all know Han took the first shot
As Yoda said, “Do or do not”
He also said, “There is no try”
Important words for a Jedi
Vader sent Ben to his defeat
And now the circle is complete
Luke’s upside down in an ice cave
Leia looks hot dressed as a slave
My armor doesn’t look like Fett’s
I think I have Star Wars Tourette’s
140827
140827
Another proud brain surgeon
Trojans thought they had a hero
Turns out he’s a total zero
He didn’t jump to save his kin
He made it up, and that’s a sin
140825
140825
2,680 miles later…
The trip is done
There’s no more fun
Wipe off that smirk
It’s back to work
140823
140823
Sadly we weren’t scared
We stayed in a hotel in Ryde
People say there are ghosts inside
Spectral encounters are implied
I think it’s ’cause a hooker died
It’s creep factor was bona fide
But spooky times we were denied
140821
140821
Road to everywhere
Before we went on vacation
I felt tied to the whipping post
Mostly due to my vocation
Then we drove up and down the coast
This trip has been a lot of fun
Despite driving for ten long days
Our personal Cannonball Run
We’ve seen so much I’m in a daze
140817
140817
Portland’s hangover cure
We got six donuts from Voodoo
First we ate one to break our fast
We had our second for lunch too
Then for dessert we ate the last
140815
140815
San Francisco Bay Blues
Last night at the Stick, we saw Paul
Beatles and Wings – he played it all
From Blackbird to Band on the Run
Jean and I had a lot of fun
Let it Be and Live and Let Die
So awesome we were Hi, Hi, Hi
Maybe I’m Amazed, but I’ll say
That was fucking great Yesterday
140813
140813
North bound and down
We’re driving to Canada and back
Our clothes are crammed into a knapsack
At 5 o’clock I left the station
That’s when we started our vacation
140809
140809
Blame it on the guy before
Have you ever smelled a smell
Like some demon dark and fell?
Did a vulture die in here?
This might linger for a year
Like an abattoir of death
Worse than garlic, onion breath
I think it was chorizo
That made the bathroom smell so
140807
140807
Let’s burn Atlanta just to be safe
As frightening as the Ayatollah
A dude in Atlanta has Ebola
The CDC has this man in a bed
Like the beginning of The Walking Dead
While they do their best to stop the outbreak
It’s hard to be sure the threat’s real or fake
I don’t know if it’s the end or prologue
But I’m getting a crossbow and a hog
140805
140805
Hoochie mama is not dressing for success
Don’t wear that for your interview
I shouldn’t see that much of you
I’m trying not to be a grouch
But comfy does not mean to slouch
The kids these days just blow my mind
You’d think that jobs aren’t hard to find
There’s not a lot of work out there
So do a little to prepare
140803
140803
Bobcats, turkeys and deer, oh my!
Playing games and watching bands
Hiking over arid lands
Stalking bobcats through the trees
Enjoying a gentle breeze
Watching movies with my gal
Helps to improve my morale
Though we try to make them last
Weekends go by much too fast
140801
140801
Liars? Lawyers? What’s the difference?
The GOP is causing drama
They think that they can sue Obama
For not enforcing Obamacare
A bill they don’t even think is fair
I can’t believe the hypocrisy
This only proves liars run DC
140731
140731
We don’t own a calendar
When you’re in a relationship
You have to make some time to play
So grab your partner by the hip
Wednesday’s not the only hump day
140729
140729
Never a kerfuffle
Without naming names
We’re a bunch of fools
We tried learning games
By reading the rules
T’was a total botch
You know we blew it
‘Cause we didn’t watch
Rahdo Runs Through it
140727
140727
We did not play Constantinople
Lorna is this woman I know
Who I met 30 years ago
She came to town the other day
To find some new board games to play
So Lorna, Marc, and Natalie
Played Istanbul with Jean and me
Then we drove to Captain Nemo’s
The card game Gloom is what she chose
I picked up Basic D&D
Then we ate dinner by the sea
We all had a fantastic day
Can’t wait for the next game to play
140725
140725
Aw, it’s you. I never knew.
I met her at a coffee shop
I didn’t want the date to stop
So we went out to a movie
Then the date got pretty groovy
Out to a bar for drinks and dance
Could feel the starting of romance
I dropped her off and bid adieu
Then realized “that’s my place too!”