Category: Ridiculous Rhymes

160115

160115
Yippee ki-yay professor

We knew him as Gruber and Snape
From terrorist to wizard’s cape
Alan Rickman was many things
The voice of god with angel’s wings
He was the voice of Marvin too
He questioned Alice – “Who are you?”
“By Grabthar’s hammer” – his catchphrase
Will we miss Rickman? Yes – “Always”

160108

160108
Can’t wait for the fateful climax

Made sure to fill up their gun racks
But they forgot to pack some snacks
They planned to set up bivouacs
But they forgot to pack some snacks
They talk to God and laugh at facts
But they forgot to pack some snacks
They graze for free and don’t like tax
But they forgot to pack some snacks

160104

160104
Vanilla ISIS is a bunch of babies

The “liberal” news has made an error
By not calling this an act of terror
I guess they don’t think armed white men cause fear
Even though they kill the most every year
Want to make America great again?
Don’t let the door hit you on your rear end

151230

151230
So long 2015!

2016 is almost here
It’s time to look back on the year
In Paris there were two attacks
White lives don’t matter less than blacks
ISIS proceeds to terrorize
And mass shootings are on the rise
Another Bush; Trump wants a wall
The Right has no one good at all
Glad Star Wars fans around the block
Sad Star Trek fans lost Mr. Spock
Australia was a lot of fun
Then Jean and I toured Hobbiton
Later we lost Eugene and Lou
But now there’s one more thing to do
So raise your glass and give a cheer
It’s time to say, “Happy New Year!”

151228

151228
Save me some tots!

Tom’s Take-out is soon changing hands
Just two more days for us tot fans
Now Mike, Mimi, Michael and Mark
Can spend the day at Waller Park
No more burgers served up with cokes
No more will we hear dirty jokes
Their run was great, but now it ends
At least they made a ton of friends

151221

151221
Return of the spoilers

Star Wars fans got Christmas early
The new Jedi’s kind of girlie
The Falcon and Luke’s lightsaber
Made me cheer and nudge my neighbor
Han and Chewie shooting bad guys
I won’t spoil the biggest surprise
From Finn to Poe to BB-8
I think the movie’s pretty great

151218

151218
So happy for wars in the stars

Nerds and fanboys are in heaven
No more wait for Star Wars VII
Jocks, jerks, Jedis, and Jamaicans
Get to see The Force Awakens
Never thought we’d see these sequels
Hope they’re better than the prequels
Not sure which show I can go to
Post a spoiler, I’ll unfriend you!

151216

151216
Rest in peace Gene Jr.

He was Eugene just like his dad
And as a dad, he was not bad
Bill, Jean, Delise, Phillip and Lynn
Had seen him through both thick and thin
To many he was Teeterpoo
But now it’s time to bid adieu
Uncle, brother, cousin and friend
Our love for Gene will never end

151204

151204
Not cloying or annoying

Instead of playing mean mind games
We give each other silly names
I really love my Sweetie Pea
I know she is the best for me
I love that I’m her sugar pooh
She loves that she’s my sugar moo
I’m sorry if this is too sweet
But love like this is pretty neat

151202

151202
We need to deactivate the shooters

You can’t take away my guns
Though it kills our moms and sons
I need guns to protect me
Or to stop a shooting spree
Disregard that I’m untrained
My skill set is self-ordained
If I interfere with SWAT
One less nut when I get shot

151130

151130
Show me your moon

When I see the moon at night
I know everything’s all right
When the moon is out at dawn
I know that I can go on
When it’s in the afternoon
I know that it came too soon
When there is no moon at all
I crumple into a ball

151123

151123
#2 team in L.A.

Tommy Trojan went to town
A-riding in his beamer
Stopped off for a chili dog
But got a Cleveland Steamer
Tommy Trojan kept it up,
Thanks to his nose candy
Afterwards he got locked up
And had to give a handy

151116

151116
Don’t feed the trolls

I won’t agree to disagree
When you’re as thick as a beech tree
And beech trees have the hardest wood
So being thick is not too good
And don’t use “to” when you mean “too”
A fourth grader knows more than you
If arguing is your sole goal
Get out of here you fucking troll!

151111

151111
Good thing his nose is pink

We could not find our little cat
We did not know where he was at
We checked outside, he was not there
He wasn’t in his favorite chair
We searched upstairs and then searched down
He could be anywhere in town
We called his name, “Where are you Linc?”
We found him in our bathroom sink

151109

151109
There’s no war on Christmas

Excessive fuss for a red cup
Those noisemakers should just shut up
When it’s a solo filled with beer
There are no gripes ’bout Christmas cheer
They whine and moan; it’s so misplaced
That energy is such a waste
They worry ’bout coffee that’s spiced
When they don’t ever act like Christ

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