Category: Ridiculous Rhymes

180827

180827
What’s worse than a curse?

There is an airport out in Knock
Where there ain’t much but stone and rock
The Holy Mary was seen there
With Joseph floating in the air
So Pope Frank went to see the church
Where Joe and Mary once did perch
The airport staff waited in line
To give Francis a shirt to sign
A jinx he was asked to reverse
In hopes of ending Mayo’s curse
Instead of such a petty task
A thousand things they could have asked
About abuse by priests and nuns
The church has failed the little ones
Little remorse, barely regret
Before he left them in his jet

180806

180806
The trouble with stubble

Kissing scruff can cause beard burn
It’s a badge that’s fun to earn
Folks can also get ‘stache rash
It turns up when faces smash
Stubble might lead to red bumps
Trouble signs of hairy humps
Whiskers tickle cheeks and lips
Up above or down by hips
If you find a face that’s cute
Take some care if it’s hirsute

180801

180801
Rail to nowhere

Sitting on a train
In the driving rain
Searching for the perfect station
Don’t know where to go
Hope we get there slow
Waiting for my destination
Every single place
Wants to plead its case
Each town has a revelation
Though the people there
Do not seem to care
All around this awesome nation

180730

180730
He shan’t do that again

Woke last night to quite a scare
Something riled up Brownie bear
Went downstairs to scrutinize
And could not believe my eyes
Little Linc was moaning low
He had stuck his pinky toe
In the radiator grill
Underneath the window sill
He was hanging upside down
Front paws couldn’t touch the ground
Don’t know how long he was there
Flailing, mewling in the air
Picked him up and set him free
Linc collapsed upon my knee
We had gotten such a fright
That we slept all day and night

180725

180725
We should always be more knightly

Do not take your chances lightly
When somebody fills you brightly
Grab them quick, and squeeze them tightly
You might get to see them nightly

180716

180716
It’s chaos, be kind

It’s getting close to one year gone
I’ve moved away but not moved on
To all the friends I left behind
You all should know, you’re on my mind
I’ve made mistakes both here and there
But with Linc’s help and Brownie Bear
I’ll make it through each day and night
To one year since we lost Jean Wright

180706

180706
Water restrictions in Ireland?!?

It’s been so long without the rain
Sure it’s as hot as France or Spain
The whitest Irish has a tan
We’re now under a hosepipe ban
With dirty cars and dying plants
We need to do a Riverdance
Dry kiddie pools – ain’t that a bitch
While water sprays the hurling pitch!

180702

180702
I had to buy a fan!

Another day of scorching sun
This heat wave never will be done
Despite my sweat I won’t complain
‘Cause soon enough it will piss rain

180629

180629
#Fireland

I can’t believe it’s so damn hot
A good day to be on a yacht
This island cannot take this heat
It’s used to burning gas and peat
There’s no AC, and I’ve no fan
I’m one big, sweaty, melted man
There’s no more water from the sink
I guess I’ll go back on the drink

180625

180625
Day 11 of 24

It’s World Cup time for real football
But if you sneeze, these players fall
My countries are not even there
I wonder why I really care
I pick a team so I can cheer
Then celebrate or shed a tear
But watching all games can be rough
So every four years is enough

180618

180618
Around the world in 90 days

These last three months have been quite rough
I’ve lived them all without my stuff
I packed it up and said goodbye
And off it went via Shanghai
The trip has been far from banal
It went through the Suez Canal
Then Rotterdam before Dublin
Excitement level is bubblin’
I’m finally gonna get my gear
Tomorrow it’s delivered here!

180608

180608
I’m not ok, but I’m ok

I am sad, but I’m not that sad
I will not let it get that bad
I’m alone, but I’m not alone
I stay in touch using my phone
I’m afraid, but I’m not afraid
Won’t let it rain on my parade
I am blue, but I’m not that blue
I carry on because of you

180523

180523
Get your rosaries off their ovaries

The Irish might repeal the 8th
The no side is aligned with faith
The yes side cares for women’s health
Access should not be based on wealth
Abortion can cause frenzied fights
You’re for the church or human rights
I will not make you have to guess
This Friday I will be a Yes

180514

180514
Slán mo chairde

Today I leave the USA
For Ireland where skies are grey
And while I leave loved ones behind
I had to leave or lose my mind
I miss my Sweetie Pea so much
I miss her smile, her laugh, her touch
So, I must go and start anew
I’m bringing Linc and Brownie too
We’ll settle there and start a life
Without my fucking awesome wife
I hope this works, my fingers crossed
This mental move comes at a cost
Emotional – financial too
And yet I must still bid adieu
The Emerald Isle is not that far
I guess I should say au revoir

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