Author: tkpope

190506

190506
Fish and trips

My tragedy was Brownie’s wish
Because I dropped my chips and fish
I walked him back to where they spilled
And then he ate till he was filled
Tonight I mourn my takeaway
To Brownie, it’s “the bestest day!”

190429

190429
That’s all you got for GoT

Want to talk of Winterfell
Want to cry and want to yell
But I do not want to spoil
That might get your blood to boil
Four more days is all you got
Friday I reveal the plot

190424

190424
Slow down, you move too fast

When I think I’m doing something
I’m just busy doing nothing
When I think I’m keeping busy
I’m just making myself dizzy
When I think I’m near perfection
I’m just in the wrong direction
Never-ending sweat exposes
I should stop and smell the roses

190419

190419
Immaculate perception

I cleaned the house because it’s Spring
I scrubbed the floors and everything
I dusted here, I dusted there
I found a ton of Brownie hair
I washed the dishes in the sink
I picked up after little Linc
I swept so hard my fingers bled
And now it’s time to go to bed

190412

190412
Mauvais voyage

There was a steamship named Titanic
That once tried to cross the Atlantic
Two thirds of the way
An iceberg said, “Nay!”
The passengers started to panic

190329

190329
Super secret sauce

There once was a top chef named Davy
Who traveled the world with the Navy
This world renowned cook
Left out of his book
His method for making man gravy

190327

190327
Mope brings external

I will need some hocus-pocus
To regain external focus
It should clearly be worth nothing
Through each day I’m mostly floating
Walk the dog, and feed the kitty
Exercise to keep me pretty
Nothing else seems to be working
Thankfully sunshine is lurking

190318

190318
Oíche mhaith

If you’re an Ulster dreamer
You’ll always dream of Eimear
Your mind will be a reelin’
If ever you meet Caoilfhoinn
You better have inertia
To try to woo a Saoirse
If you can say it rightly
You’ll get to see her nightly

190313

190313
Like a silk sheet

At the Paddy’s day parade
You will surely find Máiréad
Those that have both brains and brawn
Fascinate the fair Siobhán
To impress an Irish lass
Say their name as smooth as glass

190311

190311
Get the point?

Don’t mess with a woman named Niamh
They always keep knives up their sleeve
Don’t mess with a fella named Piaras
They carry sharp objects that pierce
Don’t mess with a woman named Medb
They might whack your head with a stave
Don’t mess with a fella named Aodh
They have been known to skin and flay
Don’t mess with the folks of the harp
They always have things that are sharp

190308

190308
There’s a Ruaidhrí in my curry

There once was a fella named Ruaidhrí
Who was legendarily furry
The hair on his back
Arms, legs and ball sack
Scared women away in a hurry

190306

190306
Owen is owin’ Eoghan

This is the legend of Eoghan
Others are comin’ and goin’
He has a side he ain’t showin’
Vast is the knowledge he’s knowin’
Dark is the shade he is throwin’
Loud is the horn he is blowin’
He doesn’t do his own crowin’
His tale is growin’ and growin’

190304

190304
Rhymes with skin trade

My leg hurt, and I needed shin-aid
I made an appointment with Sinéad
She is a pro at giving first aid
Her regimen helped make the pain fade

190301

190301
“Are you guilty?” “Neigh!”

There once was a fella named Niall
Who broke the law and was on trial
For shagging a horse
He argued of course
The horse said he was in denial

190225

190225
And then I wake up

“Mmm hmm! Uh huh! Yeah, pull my hair!”
“Like that! Oh yeah! I’m almost there!”
“That feels so good! Don’t stop! Go! go!”
“Right there! Oh god! I’m gonna blow!”
Into the night, their bodies sweat
At last, she asks, “Are you done yet?!”

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