221213
I hate this cold craze
It’s been cold for days and days
So I sit beside a blaze
Hope this weather’s just a phase
Need the temperature to raise
Tag: Weather
Poems and/or Drawings about the Weather and Seasons.
221206
221206
Being naughty isn’t nice
Don’t be mean this Christmas season
Don’t leave dogs out when they’re freezin’
No one likes a Christmas Karen
Worse than fruitcake with a hair in
We should not neglect the needy
Share some spirit, don’t be greedy
Don’t go mad with decorations
Temper all your expectations
Don’t start fighting during dinner
Christmas doesn’t have a winner
People shouldn’t feel diminished
When the holidays are finished
221111
221111
Funny film Friday
Linc is on my lap, Brownie’s on my right
Think we’ll watch a film, on this chilly night
Jeanne is on my left, with a glass of wine
Blankets on our legs, everything is fine
220923
220923
If the campervan’s a rockin’…
In autumn it can get quite chilly
And camping might seem pretty silly
To keep warm at night
We snuggle real tight
And play hide and seek with my willy
220817
220817
I hope I didn’t make you yawn
Alarm goes off at dawn – I yawn
I put the kettle on – I yawn
My laptop won’t logon – I yawn
I feel a bit withdrawn – I yawn
Lunch is a warm jambon – I yawn
It seems that summer’s gone – I yawn
This poem is now drawn – I yawn
Here is the denouement – I yawn
220810
220810
Cold pints will have to do
It’s hot this August night
To me, it’s a delight
The Irish think it’s not
To them it’s too damn hot
They’re sweating in this heat
And melting in the street
There’s nowhere they can be
The pubs don’t have AC!
220805
220805
100% chance of moisture
There was a young lass named Delaney
Who liked her boys rugged and brainy
When students with pecks
Would read books and flex
She’d get wet though it wasn’t rainy
220725
220725
Love and thunder
I took a chance with a blind date
And she did too, what freaky fate
We had our fun and loved a lot
But then she passed, I was distraught
I do not pray, but I have hope
That someone else will want this dope
Love’s lighting bolts – can they strike twice?
I think they will, I’ve been real nice
220718
220624
220620
220620
Once a year
A day before the yanks agree
It’s summer from Muff to Tralee
The sun is hot, the sky is blue
The ice cream shop has quite a queue
It’s time for shorts and sunny smiles
On hilltops you can see for miles
The kind of day when Irish cheer
‘Cause summer comes one day a year
220304
220304
Chilly Willie’s willy
There once was a skier named Willie
Who never was warm, but was chilly
The story was told
He always was cold
And ended up with shrinking willy
220302
220302
Long days and pleasant nights
It happens every year
True Irish far and near
Will see the sun and cheer
The grand auld stretch is here!
220105
220105
Three degrees of urination
Woke up this morn, ’twas minus three
Got out of bed to have a pee
The ice cold floor was such a shock
Warm urine dribbled out my cock
My feet had frozen to the floor
As I leaked out a little more
The trickle turned into a stream
In panic, I let out a scream
So in came Linc and Brownie Bear
While I wailed in wet underwear
Then Brownie stepped into the piss
It splashed on Linc who gave a hiss
The two of them began to fight
While I assessed my pissy plight
I heard them roar and bark and howl
As I reached for the nearest towel
My feet had warmed – no longer stuck
I pulled them free of all the muck
Into the shower I did go
At last the urine ceased its flow
I cleaned the pets, I cleaned the floor
I cleaned myself three times or four
I threw the wet clothes in the bin
We will not speak of this again!
211224
211224
Christmas with the cats
It’s time for joy and festive cheer
But things are different this year
I could not get back to the states
So now I’ll spend it with me mates
They’re wearing black and amber hats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats
It’s not the same and that’s ok
I’ll celebrate a brand new way
Just like LA it won’t be white
But over here, the weather’s shite
My parents send me online chats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats
I want to party till it’s late
But this year pubs will close at eight
No ugly sweaters on display
No pub crawls on St. Stephen’s Day
I blame the feckin’ bureaucrats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats
I have to bring a biscuit tin
Or else my friends won’t let me in
The wine is mulled, the pudding’s plum
The pies have mince, yeah that sounds dumb
The yummy sweets – the tasty fats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats
211220
211220
Brighter days ahead
It’s winter solstice
The shortest day of the year
Sunlight is coming!
211203
211203
Oh my gourd!
A couple named Pumpkin and Peter
Were cold so they sat by the heater
Pete wanted a bite
But try as he might
She was so hard, he couldn’t eat her
211117
211117
Tooth – two
I started off with Zombie Dice
At push your luck, it’s pretty nice
I then played Tsuro of the Seas
At laying tiles, this game’s a breeze
Then Codenames was the last game played
My clues were great, we had it made
Don’t want to start an argument
But no one knew just what I meant
As clear as day – a key has teeth!
Those jagged bits from underneath
It was a stretch, and that’s ok
‘Cause win or lose, we got to play!
211115
211115
The brownest month
The leaves have fallen
And Brownie’s poo is steaming
Must be November
211004
211004
I’m not a good friend
When your pain has doubled
And you need someone to care
Like always you’re facing your darkest nights
Don’t you ever think of me
For I will not be there
I’d rather be receiving my last rites
I just think that you’re lame
And your attitude’s to blame
I start backing, oh yeah, from you real slow
Winter, spring, summer, or autumn
Someday soon you’ll hit rock bottom
And I’ll say that, yeah, yeah, yeah, “I told you so!”
210830
210830
Peanut butter fish
Jellyfish jellyfish
Laying on the sand
Jellyfish jellyfish
Please don’t sting my hand
Jellyfish jellyfish
Dying in this heat
Jellyfish jellyfish
Please don’t sting my feet
Jellyfish jellyfish
Sitting on the rock
Jellyfish jellyfish
Please don’t sting my cock
210806
210806
I will have you – yes, I will have you
I love sipping on iced chai lattes
The perfect drink on those real hot days
It’s cool and it’s sweet
An afternoon treat
If I could I’d guzzle them always
210723
210628
210628
Late night – late light
Not to worry yet
The days are getting shorter
But it’s light at 10
210412
210412
The flowers are underwater
An Irish April
The perfunctory showers
Will bring May showers
210219
210219
Ted fled
To Cancún Ted chose to go Cruzin’
Which Texans did not find amusin’
While his poodle froze
He packed up his clothes
And showed how a loser does losin’
210217
200923
200923
The pumpkin spice must flow
It’s autumn bitches!
Cooling down, colorful, and
Pumpkin spice for all!
200819
200819
Ellen’s wet ass precipitation
Red, orange, yellow
Warnings all over the place
I hope Cork can float
200810
200810
Sun is best!
Nothing beats a sunny day
Better than the wet and grey
Better than a March with hail
Better than a gusty gale
Better than an April rain
Better than a snowy plain
Better than a windy May
Better than a foggy bay
Better than a gloomy June
Better than the stars and moon
Better than a hot July
Better than a darkened sky
Don’t know what more I can say
Nothing beats a sunny day
200527
200527
Serene routine
Walked the dog for exercise
Under partly cloudy skies
Got the clothes in from the line
Poured myself a glass of wine
Played some games and won a few
Hope tomorrow’s this good too