Song Tribute or Parody poems.
191216
Apologies to Reg
I can’t find sun in Irish wintertime
I know it’s cold, but that’s another deal
Outside’s darkness when I hit snooze on the damn alarm
But these clocks I have, hard to believe their time is real
(Chorus)
Don’t let the sun go down at three
When walking home from town, it’s always dark and I can’t see
So please allow a small beam of that light to shine on me
‘Cause here at wintertime is like the sun going down at three
191030
Scariest TV family
They sling a lot of mucky
They’re awful and they’re sucky
They’re altogether yucky
Jizztrumpet family
Dad’s skin could use some bleaching
His kids are good at leaching
I’m hoping for impeaching
Jizztrumpet family
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Pelosi is a calling
The house of cards is falling
I hope to see them bawling
Jizztrumpet family
191025
Apologies to Coolio
As I walk through the packed aisles and I look to my right
I see a game that I want and I devise to squeeze in tight
‘Coz I’ve been planning and reading so long, that
I got to buy this game before it is gone
You see Rahdo told me that this one is phenomenal
Because negative interaction is nominal
Then my wallet does the talkin’, and I start walkin’
Until Boydell’s new game is blockin’
I really love his games, so I buy it, dude
He better sign the box or that would be quite rude, fool
I’m the board game geek that goes around with a Pope hat
So all the folks in the math trade hall know where I’m at
Though I’ve only been there twice
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
Tokens, cards, minis and dice
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
Kickstarter’s my only vice
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
Buying games at twice the price
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
191023
I hope to play at least 16 games in Essen
I play two games in the morning
I play two games at night
I play two games in the afternoon
It makes me feel alright
I play two games when I’m at home
And two at a game store
I play two games before I play two games
And then I play two more
190802
Supplied with air
I’m all of out rhymes, I can’t make a haiku
I thought I could write my Brownie a theme song
I’m all of out rhymes, I can’t make a haiku
It’s no doubt too late to say that my art’s so wrong
190710
Brownie Joel
It’s one o’clock on a sunny day
Thinking about staying in
There’s a brown dog laying next to me
He wants to go walking again
He says, “Dad, can you please take me walking now?
Would you please put down your LEGOs?
‘Cause I’m good and I’m sweet and I need a nice treat
I need to sniff grass with my nose”
Ruf, ruf, ruf, barky bark
Ruf, ruf, barky bark ba-bark
Gimme a walk, I’m the Brownie Bear
Gimme a walk, please dad
‘Cause I love sniffing grass when it’s sunny out
And it makes me happy and glad”
190605
#Always
When first we met on a crazy blind date
I did not know how lucky I would be
Our meeting was a lovely twist of fate
The perfect friend, you made me so happy
I love you as I never loved before
Since first we met for just a cup of tea
Each night I think about the vows we swore
I love you as I loved you
‘Cause you’re my sweet
‘Cause you’re my Sweetie Pea
180704
This is America
Jizzy Trumpet builds a wall
He is a racist phony
Bob Mueller investigates
Let’s hear the testimony
Jizzy Trumpet, is a freak
Daughter makes him randy
Grabbing pussies all the time
His teensy-weensy handy
180312
New fight song?
We all hail from Mayo
And we wear the green and red
We’re on fire
For Sam Maguire
We’ll root until we’re dead
From the boggy plains of Mayo
To the blue Atlantic shore
In every house with thatch
When there’s a football match
The whole county starts to roar!
M! (3 claps)
A! (3 claps)
Y! (3 claps)
O! (3 claps)
M-A-Y-O! #UpMayo
171213
Turn it Up!
Young girls kept him turned on
Cherry chapstick sure made him grin
Banned from malls across the south-land
Dating children’s bad once again and I think it’s a win
Well, I heard Mister Moore talk about her
Well, I heard ole Roy put her down
Well, I hope Roy Moore will remember
A southern man don’t need him around anyhow
Sweet home Alabama
Where the state is turning blue
Sweet home Alabama
Jones is coming home to you!
170522
Apologies to John, Paul, George and Ringo
Melania told Jizztrumpet
I hate your orange tan
Then she told Jizztrumpet
Your stupid Muslim ban
Your tiny, wrinkled gland
Don’t want to hold your hand
170206
Inspired by Peter Paul & Mary
Fuffle the Dragon will get you cancer free
So you can live a happy life and be a Sweetie Pea
Little Jeannie wore her on a silver chain
So she could do the normal stuff free from all that pain
160725
She’s my Santa Maria Girl
Well I took a chance, on a dating site
On a Friday-I-ay-I-ay
And when she walked in, she was dynamite
On a summer day-I-ay-I-ay
She was lots of fun, such a pretty girl
And I felt right then, I would take a whirl
I can tell you friends, I knew what to do
I gave her a ring, she’s my sugar pooh
160516
8 lines about 4 #GoT women
Arya said she had no name
But at night she says her list
Brienne was a bit too tall
Fights men off but never kissed
Cersei was her brother’s twin
And she has him by the balls
Dany was a dragon girl
She’s unburnt but not the Khals
160427
We’re all better without Trump
I’m all out of fucks
I don’t care about Trump
I know he’s a mess and has been for so long
I’m all out of fucks
I’m better without Trump
It’s never too late to see that he is so wrong
150821
12-16 weeks, then see ya!
Gonna get me a passport
Gonna make me a citizen
Gonna sell the old escort
Gonna stop watching CNN
I’m gonna get me a passport
Moving to my father’s land
I’m gonna start watching the sport
Where they do not use their hand
150814
How Brownie sees the world
It’s the greatest day ever
It’s the greatest day since yesterday
It’s the greatest day ever
Throw the ball to me I want to play
It’s the greatest day ever
I can’t wait until I get to eat
It’s the greatest day ever
I’ve been good so please give me a treat
It’s the greatest day ever
Here’s that toy that you let me borrow
It’s the greatest day ever
I’m super happy ’bout tomorrow!
141217
Season’s greetings from Arkham
Oh Cthulhu, Oh Cthulhu!
Thy tentacles are moving
Oh Cthulhu, Oh Cthulhu!
Thy tentacles are moving
Your green appendages are near,
You bring about such dread and fear
Oh Cthulhu, Oh Cthulhu!
Thy tentacles are moving!
141013
K-K-K-Kenny and Annette
(To Elton John’s “Bennie and the Jets”)
He’s handy, she’s cheerful,
Have you ever met?
Our friends’re so much fun,
Kenny and Annette
Oh but he’s kind, and she’s affable
Oh Kenny he’s really lean
Annette is quite astute, she’s really cute
You know their house looks like it’s Halloween
Kenny and Annette
140507
Apologies to Night Ranger
Sister Cersei – oh, Jaime has come
Then he pushes Bran, and that is dumb
Foul play, no way
Then King Robert tries to fight a boar
But he loses, and that starts a war
Bran flew, ’cause you
They’re Hodoring
Three-eyed crow in flight
As Summer he will bite
The walkers are all white
Bran, you know Hodor is walking fast
Going north you find the wall at last
Robb slay by Frey
Sister Cersei – Joffrey’s much too mean
You don’t care because you’re still the queen
You preen, obscene, yeah
Hodoring
Bran’s on your back upright
Jojen’s got the greensight
And Hodor is your might
Hodoring
Three-eyed crow in flight
As Summer he will bite
The walkers are all white
Sister Cersei – now Joffrey is dead
That drives Margaery to Tommen’s bed
Kismet, you bet
But they’re Hodoring
Yeah, Hodoring!
1216
If Jesus were brown, and Santa was black
Megyn Kelly would have a heart attack
I’m dreaming of a brown Jesus
Just like the man from Bethlehem
Megyn Kelly thinks it’s needless
If he’s not white, she would condemn
I’m dreaming of a Black Santa
With every poem that I write
He’s bringing gifts to Atlanta
But Megyn thinks that isn’t right
May you get a gift from his sack
And may all your Santas be black
0603
Nothin’ fair in this world
Hey little Stark boy what do you know?
Hey little Stark boy who is that ho?
Hey little Stark boy in the frying pan
Hey little Stark boy where’s your bannerman?
Hey little Stark boy crossbow
It’s a bad day to break a vow
It’s a bad day for a red wedding
It’s a bad day to break a vow
0316
Spoiler alert
Matthew Crawley, is that blood on your head?
Oh, Matthew Crawley, are you really dead?
Your romance with Mary was magic
She and you had it all
Your ride back to Downton was tragic
You should have made a call
Mr. Branson, should have been the chaffeur
Grantham’s Grandson, is the new heir for sure
Hey Fellowes is nobody sacred?
You’ve removed all the mirth
My love for you has turned to hatred
Since baby Sybil’s birth
