171004

171004
Me-wow!

There once was a lad from Cork city
Who bought drinks for girls that were pretty
If they owned a cat
He’d go to their flat
And asked if he could pet their kitty

170923

170923
I’m leaving on a jet plane

Flying in an aeroplane
Can lead to tremendous pain
Way up in the friendly skies
Your ears start to pressurize
When the plane starts to descend
Chewing gum is your best friend
If your eardrums fail to pop
Try to suck on a cough drop
If that doesn’t do the trick
Blow your nose as if you’re sick
Thus endeth my travel tip
Write these down for your next trip

170717

170717
I need a miracle every day

I feel so hopeless
There is nothing I can do
Except be right here

170630

170630
Scat school

Darker pee and lighter poo
Means that something’s wrong with you
Darker poo and lighter pee
Indicate that you’re healthy

170621

170621
Put that away!

Brownie wants to get a treat
And he has a brand-new trick
He will sit down on your feet
And display his red lipstick

140221

140221
Now on kickstarter!

The perfect game for a geek date
Is Cosmic Wombat’s Stones of Fate
Easy to play and quick to learn
Leaves time to flirt during your turn
There’s wands and swords and cups and coins
And artwork that might thrill your loins
It’s made by my friend Luke Laurie
And tests your skills and memory
To win a card, you place your stones
Then flip the card, and check the zones
If you play games with your soul mate
Then you should try the Stones of Fate

0319

0319
Presto! Face slap!

There once was a man from Modesto
Who wrote a dating manifesto
To get to third base
Go to a nice place
And buy her linguini with pesto

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