170220
She left in a cloud of farts
There once was a black dog named Raven
To greet you her tail would be wavin’
She had one good trick
But then she got sick
No longer she’ll be misbehavin’
Tag: Raven
Poems and/or Drawings about our stinky, black dog.
160810
160810
Next time I’ll call pizza slut
The dogs are fed, the cat is too
Now it’s my turn to have a chew
But Jean is gone, I’m on my own
My stomach growls, I start to moan
I look around for food to nuke
The leftovers all look like puke
So I decide to cook from scratch
I gather wood, and strike a match
I fill a pot, and start to boil
I grease the pan with olive oil
I marinate the meat in sauce
I chiffonade like I’m a boss
I bake spring rolls as an hors d’oeuvre
Then right before I start to serve
My eyes open, I’m on the floor
My head had banged the freezer door
My night as chef was just a dream
I settle for melted ice cream
160506
160506
I can’t live without her
Jean is away – she’s gone for work
I stumble ’round like a big jerk
The dogs are dead, cat ran away
She has been gone for one whole day
We’re out of food and no clean clothes
I showered with the garden hose
The house burned down at half past noon
I really hope she comes back soon
160401
160401
International Trump day
Brownie and Raven are good dogs
On weekends, we go riding hogs
I want to move to the UK
I want to work all night and day
Trojans and Yankees are my faves
Olives and mushrooms are my craves
Corned Beef is the best Irish food
That Kanye West is one cool dude
I like DC more than Marvel
I like life forms that were larval
The best rock group is Fleetwood Mac
My life is planned by zodiac
Tom Cruise told me about Xenu
It fits right in with my world view
As president, Trump has the tools
If you believe this – April Fools!
160328
160328
She’s one pernicious pooch
I love Raven with all my heart
Until she rips a noxious fart
It melts my face; it curls my hair
It grosses out poor Brownie Bear
What does she eat? Is it the grass?
What festers in that evil ass?
I’ve gone from love to really hates
The dog that always flatulates
160101
160101
Good start to the year
2015 is gone
We wake up with a yawn
Many hours past dawn
As the morning drags on
Twilight Zone Marathon
New Year for Jean and Sean
151225
151225
Tiny Tim like Xmas poem
I have no time
To make a rhyme
I hope those deer
Are warm and near
151030
151030
Happy Halloween Eve!
I am a pope, and Jean’s a nun
Brownie’s a cop without a gun
Raven’s a freaking astronaut
Linc isn’t cool with what he’s got
We may not have scary costumes
But as the kids ride witches brooms
To our front door to get their treat
Our neighbors must accept defeat
We have the best house on the block
And Charlie Brown still got a rock
150703
150703
Have a safe and sane 4th
Bang! Happy Independence Day
Bang! Another dog runs away
Bang! Barbecuing in the park
Bang! Soldiers shaking in the dark
Bang! Bottle rocket, cherry bomb
Bang! Suddenly they’re back in ‘Nam
Bang! Before you light any more
Bang! Think about the folks next door
150619
150619
Death by loud noises
The smoke alarm gives off small chirps
It wakes up Raven, and she “yerps”
She gets so scared from certain sounds
And then she bays like twenty hounds
The worst noises are fireworks
Set off at night by thoughtless jerks
Soon it will be 4th of July
This might kill her, and that’s no lie
150408
150408
Don’t mess with Brownie
Took the dogs out for a walk
Didn’t get around the block
Stupid dogs a few doors down
Charged at Brownie – made him frown
So he opened up his maw
And he smacked them with his paw
Sent them off with one last growl
Raven joined in with a howl
Tomorrow we’ll try once more
Hope their parents lock the door
141221
141221
Fighting the SADs
Sitting next to the fire
In my bedroom attire
On the longest night of the year
With my two dogs and my cat
I’m extremely thankful that
All the nights are shorter from here
141109
141109
Bedtime for bozos
Raven and Brownie normally roil
But when exposed to essential oil
They essentially roll up and snore
Essence of oil is all we hoped for
141031
141031
Have a groovy Halloween
Raven is a bumble bee
Her tail stings so viciously
Brownie is a dinosaur
His mouth is hard to ignore
Linc does not have a costume
Dressing him would spell our doom
140705
140705
At least they’re super cute
I was clean, but now I’m not
Brownie sneezed, and out came snot
Raven covered me with fur
Linc just likes to knead and purr
While he drenches me with drool
Having pets makes me a fool
140627
140627
I have a dumb green thumb
Last night we planted some trees
A new place for birds and bees
To make a home or sight see
Tonight we planted again
Because our dogs are a pain
They had uprooted a tree
Tomorrow we’ll run away
While the dogs will have to stay
And plot their next digging spree
140611
140611
Melt your face
I think that two dogs means
Twice as many dog farts
I’ve never fed them beans
But this smell’s off the charts
140415
140415
There’s a dog and a fish and a cat in my hat
There’s a doggy on her bed
Sitting with her empty head
There’s a kitty on a box
Filled with underwears and socks
There’s a fishy in his bowl
Glad he’s not a sushi roll
Now it’s time to feed out pets
Beats a visit to the vets
They’re still fun though hardly new
Raven, Linc and Ziggy too
1009
0921
0921
Life’s rough
Pepper meet Raven
Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff
They both are craven
Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff
Their barks make me weep
Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff
We will never sleep
Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff
0704
0704
Incredibly loud and extremely close
It sounds like a war zone outside
In the house Raven tries to hide
Instead of enjoying the show
We only get to see the glow
I used to like this holiday
Now I want it to go away
0628
0628
Get along little druggie
We drugged up our doggie
She’s still a bit groggy
But better than barking
At neighbors just parking
So, if we hear loud pops
We give her knockout drops
0627
0608
0608
World’s biggest lapdog
Raven really hates fireworks
She’s so scared she loses her mind
The people shooting them are jerks
I want to go kick their behind
0202
0202
She’s such a craisin
Today we hiked with Raven
When she saw another bitch
She started to howl and twitch
Is she angry or craven?
0114
0114
Why do they do that?
Cat puke on the new carpet
It’s not there when I come back
Did Raven nom on vomit?
When I think of that I yack