Tag: Politics

151118

151118
Don’t be a heartless bastard

The refugee criteria
Should not be changed for Syria
Those who thwart the huddled masses
Will be known as huge jackasses

151009

151009
Ditty for a doggie – Brownie Bear

He sits around like he just don’t care
That chromatic canine – Brownie Bear
He’ll eat your house into disrepair
A cast iron stomach – Brownie Bear
His policies are quite laissez faire
That political pooch – Brownie Bear
The backyard’s covered with his back hair
He’s a hirsute hounddog – Brownie Bear
He makes the room reek of derrière
That foul-smelling fido – Brownie Bear
Empty noggin, at a wall he’ll stare
Thick headed, tail wagger – Brownie Bear

151002

151002
142 school shootings since Sandy Hook

Just stop it with the guns
That kill our girls and sons
Stop shootings in our schools
We need a set of rules
To stop gun deaths some day
We need to find a way

150930

150930
Pope Frank the 2 steps back

Now everyone’s favorite Pope
Met everyone’s favorite dope
To meet with a clerk so deranged
Just proves that the Church hasn’t changed

150904

150904
#2 favorite republican

There’s no more paper on the roll
But I still have to clean my hole
I can’t find any ‘neath the sink
The stench in here it’s hard to think
I see a rag we never use
The stain it leaves looks like Ted Cruz
Vanilla Glade I freely spray
I think I’ll sell it on eBay

150902

150902
Do your job or quit!

Put down the pipe made out of cob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You need to let Jim marry Bob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
Don’t pander to the right wing mob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You’re thrice divorced you marriage snob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
Go be a clerk and shut your gob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You no good homophobic slob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!

150826

150826
Go back to Univision

There is a reporter named Jorge
He’s awesome and he deserves more pay
He interviewed Trump
And proved Don’s a chump
Today should be Ramos adore day

150708

150708
The dunce of confederates

There once was a Jindal named Bobby
Who wanted the President’s jobby
He opened his mouth
‘Bout loving the south
And rebel flag waving’s his hobby

150626

150626
I do they do we all do

Today the court is so supreme
They’ve made real what was once a dream
For many years many have fought
Now all who love can tie the knot

150413

150413
HRC > GOP

Hillary’s prez bid should not stun
She’s the first First Lady to run
I kind of hope that when it’s done
She’ll be the first lady who’s won

150330

150330
I ain’t goin’ anywhere tbh

I ain’t goin’ to Havana
Unless I’m wearing armor plate
I ain’t goin’ to Montana
I’d rather sun burn in Kuwait
I ain’t goin’ to Savannah
I’d sooner avoid the whole state
I’m skipping Louisiana
Unless I need to urinate
Not goin’ to Indiana
They need to learn to tolerate
They are not Americana
Unless you think it’s good to hate

150121

150121
Here’s my SOTU recap

State of the Union – time for nap
Only two more years – it’s a wrap
It’s like he’s on his final lap
Next to Biden and orange chap
Taxing the rich is not a slap
Middle Class is treated like crap
Obama plans to close the gap
He wants students to get their cap
The pipeline plan he had to scrap
Defend free speech, condemn the slap
It makes us safe, it’s not a trap
He put transgenders on the map
That’s sure to cause a right wing flap
He finished with a huge “Oh snap!”
“No more campaigns to run” – clap, clap
“I won both of them” – shut yer yap!

141219

141219
Gotta take a Kim Jung-Un

When I think of my Sweetie Pea
It’s like I’m on a tranquil sea
When I think of the holidays
My wallet needs a big fat raise
When I think of my dearest friends
To me they prove that they’re all tens
When I think of North Korea
I suffer from diarrhea

141209

141209
To health in a handbasket

The POTUS on Stephen Colbert
Talking about Obamacare
He did a segment – The Decree
That gave the Nation so much glee
One thing he said sure was neato
He’s not scared to use the veto
Why would the prez want to amuse?
Because the kids don’t watch the news

141125

141125
Open your damn eyes!

This country should be indicted
The legal system is blighted
Powers that be are shortsighted
What is wrong needs to be righted
Many sparks have been ignited
Everyone should be invited
And we all must stand united
Don’t let this go unrequited

141105

141105
Two years of veto

The results made me mad
Two out of three is bad
I know they hate the one
Still nothing will get done

140919

140919
Brave but not free

Scotland might be brave
But it isn’t free
They’ll go to the grave
With a dream to be

140801

140801
Liars? Lawyers? What’s the difference?

The GOP is causing drama
They think that they can sue Obama
For not enforcing Obamacare
A bill they don’t even think is fair
I can’t believe the hypocrisy
This only proves liars run DC

140721

140721
Be true to yourself

After years of fighting the fight
Obama has made it a right
What was wrong has been corrected
Trans people are now protected
Homophobes are able to hate
But they cannot discriminate
Foes can laugh and think it’s funny
But they won’t get federal money
Dicks can hate and act like a jerk
But they just can’t do it at work

140625

140625
He needs to Kim Jong Chill

Because of Franco and Rogen
The world might go to war again
“The Interview” is coming soon
In which they murder Kim Jong Un
He’s accusing them of terror
I think his critique’s in error
I guess his humor has no sense
Because he’s threatened our defense
If he’s no fan of comedy
I wonder what he’d do to me

140521

140521
I’d like to solve the puzzle

Wheel of Fortune’s Pat Sajak
Is as dull as dental plaque
He goes trolling on twitter
And he comes off as bitter
He pokes fun at climate change
And takes pix at a gun range
He puts down women and gays
His opinions cause malaise
Please don’t follow Pat Sajak
Sony should give him the sack

140321

140321
I hate haters

There once was a man from Westboro
His dislike of gays was most thorough
By saying God hates
He opened debates
And gays made him look like a burro

140311

140311
Barack was friggin’ funny

Obama went on Between Two Ferns
And roasted Zach with some major burns
He put up with Zach’s jokes and blank stare
To help promote his Obamacare
If more young adults will get insured
It will be worth all that he endured

140117

140117
Just say nyet!

There are those that are gluten-free
But the world should be Putin-free
He’s as bad as Josef Stalin
Russia’s status is free-fallin’
They are hosting the winter games
While his speeches are fanning flames
His views are as thick as a brick
Vladimir Putin – you’re a dick!

1220

1220
House of hate haiku

Man sounds like a duck
Ducks are easily confused
Man builds dynasty

1219

1219
At least nobody was surprised

A rednecked hillbilly
From dynasty of ducks
Thinks butt sex is silly
And costs himself some bucks
“Jim Crow made blacks happy”
He said ignorantly
If he’s the clan’s pappy
How dumb is his family?

1216

1216
If Jesus were brown, and Santa was black
Megyn Kelly would have a heart attack

I’m dreaming of a brown Jesus
Just like the man from Bethlehem
Megyn Kelly thinks it’s needless
If he’s not white, she would condemn
I’m dreaming of a Black Santa
With every poem that I write
He’s bringing gifts to Atlanta
But Megyn thinks that isn’t right
May you get a gift from his sack
And may all your Santas be black